The mystery of Red - A Clace Cinderella Story

Chapter 7

A/N 

Before finally continuing this supposedly  'short' little story, i wanted to apologize for me kinda abandoning it. I honestly dislike those kind of people who say life got in the way but in reality it was just them forgetting or not wanting to do it... but i guess thats me in this case...sorry anyways, here is the rest of the story. enjoy and thank you <3 

- alwaysfangirl009 

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Clary's PoV

I observed the dull white Ikea wall clock go by. One hand running after the other, chasing each other with the hope of meeting together with the knowledge of it only lasting 60 seconds. Its funny in a way...the minute hand chasing rapidly after the slow and un-rushed hour hand, as if the latter had no intensions at all of meeting and coming together with the other hand for only 60 seconds every hour the day. Its quite tragic if you think about it isn't it? false hope, unrequited love, the thought of seeking and getting the attention, love, and care you yearn for one but it then being lost the very next minute, leaving a dull numb feeling behind. 

Tick 

Tok

Tick 

Tok 

I heave a big sigh and turn my head away from the sight. Burying my head with my hair being a messy mess, into my pillow, i let out another sigh before finally closing by bloodshot eyes that sting every time I tried to close them. My blinds are all closed in the hopes of shutting out every single thing outside and with the inner hope, also inside. I just don't want to feel anything anymore, and i guess with the loss of tears and the ability to produce more, it would seem i was able to achieve that. Its the only way to go through i guess. 

The exact amount of time that passed, since that very moment with him, i cannot say. It could have been minutes, hours, or days, i couldn't tell the difference. I told my mom and Luke to not let anyone inside and except from a few check ins for food and so on, i was left alone. Breath. In and out. I had to repeat myself every time memories evoke form the depths of my mind and heart. My emotional and mental limit was overstepped and overfilled which left me in my current situation. Unable to sleep, no knowledge of how badly unkept i looked, and on a brink of multiple panic attacks from the inside. Numb i said, thats how i feel. 

There is a time for the body to go into self help and emergency mode, which in my case would mean protect my emotional and mental statue before completely drowning into its problems. Thats were i am currently. The smiling face of one golden boy is imprinted into my mind, one of the reasons as to why i cannot close my eyes i guess. The knowledge that everybody now knew what kind of freak and loser i really am. I mean what did i expect? That Jace Lightwood would miraculously find me, Clary Fray, the art freak, attractive after the ridiculous attempt of playing dress up... I guess my name from now on is simply going to be 'Freak', works for me since its simply saying the truth. Putting a hand on top of my face, i heave another pitiful sigh. How pathetic can one be? i signed up for it, so i don't have the right to cry and pity myself. This isn't a freaking fairy tale story.

 One good thing to take away from this, is that i finally was able to really talk to Jace without my stupid stuttering and blushing getting in the way. The heart stopping kiss was a nice extra for me... Hopefully Jace won't be made fun of that he kissed the freak of the school, well at least i got to feel something positive from it even if he found disgust in it. That simple night at the ball will forever be locked away in my few treasured memories that would brighten my day when needed. The rest? I just have to take responsibility for it, seeing as it is my fault. 

After much difficulty, i finally heaved myself up into a siting position on my messy bed. My sketchbook lay innocently in the corner of my room where i threw it at, after coming home crying. Innocently, as if it didn't ruined my life and popped my dream bubble of cinderella i hoped to prolong a little longer. I hear a little knock before my blue painted door to my room opens up. Simons dorky head creeps into the small opening, to check if i am awake and present. I looked at my best friend as he enters my room and closes my door quietly behind himself. "Hey fray" he breaks the silence. I just nod at him with minimal head movement before looking down at my fiddling fingers crumpling up my bed sheets on top of my legs. "how are you holding up?" 

I look up again when i felt a shift of movement on my bed. " 'kay i guess".

 "I heard what happened from izzy" Simon starts again. "do i have to come to school tomorrow?" I answered timidly. " no, take your time and know, that when you are ready to talk, i am here for you, always". There is a heavy silence after that, with the only sound left being the clock ticking away. "he knows that it was me" i whispered as i laid my suddenly heavy head on top of his shoulder. " yeah... hey clary, i know it isn't my place to say this or decide, but i think you should talk to him and clear this out, you should hear it from him, i am simply here to be your supporting best friend while you are hurting kay?" he says while looking down at my fingers and stoping them from tearing my sheets. Silence follows while i tried to understand what he is saying. How can there be more to the story? I saw him laughing and smiling at the idea and knowledge of me being the mysterious redhead in the green dress. He found it funny, so whats more to understand? it was a pathetic attempt of a freak and loser to get closer to the untouchable crush. Pathetic, keep crying and pitying your self, freak. 

Jace's PoV 

F*ck. she just ran away. just like that. I was just beginning to talk to her excitedly of her talents as an artist and me being so glad and happy of finding out it was her all along behind that lace black mask. I thought i finally got her after days of searching and losing hope. Her beautiful large emerald eyes looked up to me and i observed as they grew bigger and glassier as i spoke to her about me finding out it was her. Oh god, do i wish that i knew what i going on in her head right now and when she just ran outside. I obviously ran after her but i lost sight of her after some time and i had no idea where exactly she lived.

 I honestly have no idea what happened... I thought she would be glad that i found her sketchbook and figured out who she is. There was is something special between each other. I know it. I felt it in the kiss we shared, the fireworks and the passion, as if after long searching we finally found each others halves. When i was with her i felt a void being filled i didn't even knew i had. When i saw her around school and in my home with Izzy, i now realize, i felt this yearning feeling too. But up until now, i only know why I felt it and to whom. All of my desperate glances at her in school and when we ate dinner or hang out with my siblings, all of it made sense now. I must be with her. I must make it up with talking to her. But first i must find her somehow. 

I was waiting in the living room for Izzy to come home but after the afternoon sun went down and the moon came to life, i lost hope of her coming. I took out my phone, ready to call her, when the door opens and Izzy walked inside the house. Just as she toed off her flat shoes, did she notice me waiting on her. "Izzy, please, you got to help me find Clary" I told her desperately. 

"I don't know, do you even know why she run off like that?" she asked with a glance towards me.

"no honestly... I just showed her, her notebook and told her that i knew who she is and how happy i am and what a great artist she is" I said quietly.  Izzy just glared at me and said " well that is all innocent and sweet really but what do you think she would feel if her nickname from the school is 'Art freak' and the most popular guy tells her that he knows her little secret and can expose her to more ridicule?" 

"What?... I would never do that!" 

"Yeah well thats great that you know that, but do you think Clary knows that?" 

I jumped up and quickly put on my shoes while simultaneously trying to put on my jacket. Just as i was almost outside the door, did Izzy yell after me  "do you even know where she lives?". 

After receiving that key information, i drove off towards hopefully getting my Red, my Clary. 

I am just wishful that she is open to hearing me talk and giving me a chance to prove myself to her as worthy of her.