Ariana
I watch him perform on stage, wild eyes and hair, smiling and yelling at the top of his lungs. He's going to be a star one day.
In my hand is my acceptance letter to Harvard. I have to make a choice. The school of my dreams or the man of my dreams.
You could have both. You you love him. And he loves you.
I twist the promise ring on my finger. Harry and his band step off the stage. He runs into me, sweaty, yet still perfect.
"Hi, you." He kisses me passionately. "Did you enjoy the show?" I nod, smiling and putting the letter into my bag. I have been delaying my confession for a month now. Every time I think I can just blurt it out, I end up putting it away.
"Are you hungry?"
"Did you make cookies?!" Niall, Harry's bandmate, asks. I giggle and point at the bin of warm cookies. The boys go crazy.
"Hey! Stop eating my girlfriend's cookies!" Harry runs through the boys to grab a handful. He offers me a bite and I open my mouth to accept. "I think I might love these cookies a little too much."
"As long as you don't love them more than me." He shakes his head knowingly.
"Never." I bite my lip and cup his cheeks before kissing him again. "Ready to go?" We finish eating and head to the tour bus.
—-
As I am in the washroom getting ready for bed, I hear Liam shouting my name. I open the door, toothbrush still in my mouth.
"Whaf?" I ask, unable to properly speak.
"Have you seen my charger?"
"If's in mah baf." He had told me to hold onto it and I remember shoving it in my bag.
"Thank you!" As I spit out the toothpaste in my mouth, I hear gasps. It takes me a few minutes to head out. As soon as I enter the main sitting area, all the boys go silent.
"What?" They all look at my bag on the floor. A bunch of things had spilled out like my hand sanitizer, phone, wallet. I roll my eyes and pick up the bag, only to realize my acceptance letter is missing. Immediately, I bend to the floor to look for it.
"Looking for this?" I hear my boyfriend's serious voice. My heart stops. When I stand, I see his fists clutching the letter. I look to the boys, who are speechless.
After a few seconds of silence, Niall coughs. "Well, it's getting late. We're going to sleep." Everyone stands up and exchanges goodnights as Harry and I stare at each other, frozen.
When they're gone, I finally breathe. "I was going to tell you."
"When? I didn't even know you applied."
"It was last minute."
"You said you were taking a gap year."
"I changed my mind." Harry blinks rapidly.
"Well, I'm happy for you obviously." I'm shocked when my boyfriend drops the paper and wraps me in his arms. "Gosh, I'm going to be the boyfriend of a Harvard student." Boyfriend.
"H.." He pulls away and looks at me intensely. "I can't be with you and go to Harvard."
"So you have to leave the tour. That's fine. We can still call and text and mail. I'll take photos and you can send me cute pictures of you studying." I feel a tear drop to my cheek. "Hey! What's wrong?" His eyes are so full of light and hope, and it kills me.
"I meant, I can't be your girlfriend anymore." Watching his expression change made my heart snap. "I've thought about it a lot. Long distance isn't a good idea. It'll drive us mad. And I can't have you wait for me, or hate me. I can't miss you or I'll go crazy." Harry shakes his head, letting everything I said register.
"Wait, wait. So you applied knowing that if you got in, you would break up with me?!" His volume raises. I look away.
"I'm sorry." I squeak.
"It's just over?" His voice cracks. I force myself to look into his tear-pooled eyes. "I don't even get a say? I don't even get to defend all the reasons we should be together, and why it will work?"
"You can." His face softens. "But I don't think you can change my mind." Harry stares between me and the letter. After what feels like an eternity of silence, his shoulders drop.
"Well then, I guess it's over." My body trembles as he walks past me. When I hear a door slam shut, I cry into my hands.
That night, I sleep on the couch, facing the ceiling and sniffling. After flipping over numerous times, I realize I won't be going to bed anytime soon. Not when I know that I hurt Harry, and myself in the process. When I hear someone come towards me, I gently tuck my blanket closer. A body comes next to me, and I gently open my eyes to see who it is. I sit up. "Harry.."
"You are so selfish." He whispers, eyes red. "We are in a relationship, how could you keep this from me?" I bite my lip.
"I know, and that is my fault. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times but I.."
"But you what?" I wanted to be with you for as long as I could.
"I was scared. Of hurting you. And leaving." Harry scoffs.
"Yeah, because this definitely hurts less." I grab his face, but he simply closes his eyes. "What am I supposed to do, can you tell me?" A tear falls down his face. "How do I look at you and tell you that I hate you when really I'm in love with you and I want to selfishly make you stay." He leans his forehead into mine.
"I'm sorry." It's all I can say.
"No. I can't." Harry decides, pulling away. He grabs my hand. "I can't lose you."
"Harry.. Long distance isn't going to work."
"Why? Give me one reason why it won't and I'll give you a hundred why it will." I open my mouth but nothing comes out. "I already know that I'm going to marry you some day Ari. This makes no difference." My eyes widen. Marriage? We never talked about that before.
"You think about us getting married?" I'm pretty sure my voice squeaks as I say this.
"Yeah. I think about it all the time." Time stops for a solid minute as I realize how wrong I was. "So don't give up on us. Where you are is where I belong. And if we aren't together, I'm still going to be with you." He kisses my hand, then my shoulder, then my lips. "Can we please, please try?" I hesitate for a second before nodding. Harry smiles so wide, all my worries wash away. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend. "Now come to bed, I can't sleep without you."
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