When I Leave, and Other Broken Promises

Falling in Love and Other Feigned Emotional Experiences

The following Monday, Candice sat in the back by Will during history class. All during class, he wrote her short notes, flipping the edge of his notebook toward her so that she could read his witticisms. She replied slyly when Mr. K turned his back to the class. It was the most fun she'd had in there in weeks.

Over the coming weeks, her relationship with Will began to blossom. They slowly fastened ties to one another, but there were no names given to this progress. He never asked her to "go out" with him and she never said "yes," but slowly a bond began forming and this bond was unspoken. The move into the realm of the physical was no less hushed.

One day they were sitting together during class, working as a team on a group assignment. As they worked, his hand brushed against hers in innocent intimacy. When she didn't pull away from him, he did it again until their hands were sliding against one another's gently. After class, he walked her to her locker. He stood close behind her, his nose tickled by stray wisps of her hair.

"Remember that night on your couch?" he whispered, "I wanna do that again. But this time I don't want to pretend."

She'd turned around and looked at him quietly, her eyes like little pillars of fire in her calm face. But the intensity was there, right beneath the surface. A moment later she was following him out to his car. He'd barely closed the door when he leaned toward her across the bucket seats and kissed her with a kind of raw passion she'd never experienced before.

When he pulled away from her at last, he sat breathless, looking at her as though he was somewhat astonished. The silence stretched on until Candice thought she would burst from the quiet tension.

"So help me, if you say something stupid right now, I'll punch you," Candice murmured finally.

"I love that you never put any pressure on me," he replied a bit sarcastically. She laughed in spite of herself. A moment later they were quiet once more.

"So, what do you wanna do?" she asked.

"What do I wanna do?" he smirked, "I think we both know the answer to that."

Candice gave him a knowing look before falling silent. Indeed, she sat there, quietly, for a full minute before she spoke, "Will... just what is it we're doing? I mean, what is this?"

"I dunno," he shrugged, "I never really thought about it. You're just a good friend that I really like fooling around with. Is that bad?" he chuckled.

"No... I guess not."

"You don't seem very sure of yourself," he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not," she replied bluntly, "I guess I don't really know what I want."

"Well, I do," he returned somewhat lewdly, "but I know what you mean. I never expected things to get so complicated."

"Yeah," she nodded. It was clear she wanted to say more, but she fell silent instead.

"It's just," he struggled to find the right words, "I try not to put labels on things, ya know? It just seems like shit gets weird when you do that. I dunno why? Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I get what you mean..." she sighed, "but there's a downside too, don't you think? Like, the lines get blurred. When you don't call yourself anything, then you don't really know what you are. I mean, suppose one of us started seeing someone else? Would that be okay or would that feel... I dunno...wrong to you?"

"I'm not gonna lie," he began, "it would sorta bother me if you started seeing somebody else, but let's be honest. If that happens, I've got no one to blame but myself. It's not like I didn't have an opportunity, ya know?"