everything sucks

Dave

2 out of 2

*Disclaimer: suicide and drug references*

This one will be one of the hardest ones that I've ever made...ever...because this one made me realize that I was definitely not okay mentally.

It was October 12, 2018, of 8th grade... making this story only 4 months ago.

I was in a really bad place in my life and I wanted an online friend...

So I turned to the person with the most online friends...

l0velydolans

I asked her to give me someone's Snapchat and she did..

It was a former friend of hers from her previous school. Only 1 year above us... I got extremely nervous because it was a boy and he was kind of cute. So I did the mistake and added him...

He added me back and we went on into texting. A few days went by and we continued conversation, everything was perfect for me... he called me names that I've dreamt of being called...

Babygirl

My love

Mami

Amor

Princessa

Reyna

Every time his notification would appear, my heart will beat faster than it should

He told me about himself...

Things that made me 'relate' to him

He cut.

and cut

and cut continuously...

He was a broken boy

His girlfriend broke up with him 2 weeks ago and he told me that he was "in love"

He told me that he doesn't see his dad anymore, he doesn't have a good relationship with his mom, he even told me that he attempted suicide multiple times.

He proceeded to tell me that he was only living for his sister but his sister died when she was 11...she had a heart condition. I felt really bad for him. But the next day he sent me a video of himself...

Smoking...

Well vaping...but it still counts as smoking. I felt extremely uncomfortable by it but I continue to have my attraction towards him. He made me "happy" though, I felt uncomfortable that he has bad habits. I asked him to not send me videos of him doing things, he obliged. It was the next week, I was staying over at my dad's house and whenever I go there, I always do all nighters.

So...I was doing one with him. We texted more and he texted me something that made me so fucking uncomfortable. I asked him because he had a lot of spelling errors, which he never had before that:

"Are you okay ? you're errors are giving me ocd lmfao"

He replied

"Yo I'm so fucking high rn"

I was shocked...

"What are you on"

I questioned

"I'm doing lean"

I had to research that and lean is the street term for "Purple Drank" and what it is is a PRESCRIBED cough syrups that is used not in appropriate manner. It is mixed with any soft drink.

Here is the "official" definition:

"Purple drank is a recreational drug which includes a prescription-strength cough syrup used in a manner inconsistent with its labeling and mixed with a carbonated soft drink."

ya...I know I was crushing on a drug user :)

Love that for me...

It was around 1 am and I was still texting this bum, and he was high and flirting with me... he didn't follow my instructions and kept on sending me videos of him and his brother smoking hookah. It was then when he told me to be his girlfriend...

Yes...girlfriend...

Every time I would pull all nighters I would always hallucinate...I see things I hear things and I wouldn't have any recollection of anything that happened the night before. (The next morning was when I saw the texts and to my understanding I said yes .__. )

But obviously...the world seems to have a repeating cycle of me being depressed... so was I happy...

yes...

But the universe said...

Oh hell no...

And guess what !!

He pulled a Brandon...!

He texted me in the morning.

"Hey sorry if I said that...I was very high and didn't know what I was saying...my cousin dared me to ask you that...I hope we can still be friends"

Wanna know what I did...

I blocked and deleted him number, and bitched to l0velydolans and Laurentis0422 about his bum-ass.

So to my understanding of what Analyse (aka l0velydolans ) told me is that now he currently has another girlfriend... and she cut ties with him...meaning that every time he texts her, she leaves him on open...

I was still very hurt but you live and you learn.