that boy | hwang hyunjin | ✔

Chapter 43

The weekend after my Friday-night encounter with Hyunjin was horrible.

First off because my mom had a hard time accepting the fact that I didn't bring her the lighter she requested. She was moody -more than usual- and refused to do anything helpful throughout the entire weekend. She was acting like a toddler that didn't get their favorite candy and it's embarrassing to just think about it.

But that was not the hardest part.

Hyunjin was.

It was somewhat okay when I returned home but after that, things got worse pretty fast.

It was impossible to get him out of my head. There was always something about him present inside my mind. His name, his face, the sound of his laughter. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, it wouldn't go away. It's safe to say that trying to fight it only made me think of him more.

And every time he pops up inside my mind, I habe to go through the same thing over and over.

That unsettling feeling when my heartbeat suddenly increases, its pounding against my ribcage almost putting me on edge constantly.

The inexplicable embarrassment that would set my cheeks on fire every time, even though he wasn't around or anywhere near me. My cheeks were on fire, hot enough to give off light in the dark. When I stole a glance at the mirror, I was met with a face flushed bright red.

And maybe the worst of them all, that light and fluttery feeling that emerges from the depths of your stomach and surges through your entire system. A tingling sensation, making me feel giddy but also really confused.

I had to suffer from this for the entire weekend. Maybe it was because there was something reminding me of him all the time.

His coloful scarf, neatly folded and placed onto the drawer across the room. Just looking at the item was enough to cause Hyunjin flooding back into my mind again and demanding my heart to work double time.

The idea of facing him again after the weekend worried me a lot but an idea formed inside my head. It's not perfect but it will do for a while.

Maybe I should avoid him for a while. Not too long, but long enough for those strange things to settle down again.

For the umpteenth time this morning, I let my mind run over this idea. I don't like it and a feeling of guilt is already nagging at my subconsciousness, like small jabs of uneasiness surging through my veins.

I don't want to push him away again. He got this close to me and I want him this close. He proved himself to be a good friend, one that's worthy of my trust. He's never let me down, never gave up and always managed to cheer me up.

But he's confusing me to an extend where I don't know what to do with it anymore. I need to clear my mind a little, just to set things straight again. I don't think I can act and feel normal around him if I don't take a little distance now.

Not knowing what it means make me feel cornered. And when I feel cornered, I flee. I want control again and I can't think of another way to regain it.

I'm sorry, Hyunjin. It's for the better.

"Chaelin, hurry!" Felix complains, impatiently tapping his foot on the hardwood floor in the hallway. "Women are so slow, geez."

"Shut up, pabo," I snap back and my friend playfully holds up his hands in mocking surrender.

It's Monday morning and about time to head to school. Today will be the first day of operation clear my mind and I have a bad feeling about it. Hyunjin will be hurt, most likely, and Felix will probably hate me for doing this.

But I don't know what else to do.

"I'm ready," I state as I reach for my school bag and sling it over my shoulder. "We can go."

"Took you long enough," Felix huffs. "I was about to yeet you out of the front door in order to arrive on time."

"When did you become a walking meme, Felix?" I sigh, messing up his bright orange hair as I walk past him.

"Yahh!" His voice hollers from behind and I chuckle as I open the front door. An endless stream of complaints and insults erupts from the boy as he quickly follows after me, desperately trying to fix his hair.

"Serves you right," I smugly tell him, locking the door before we set off to school. "Don't threaten me."

"Sorry noona," Felix mutters quietly, a smirk evident in his tone. I nearly choke on my saliva as I spin around, eyeing him dangerously.

"We've talked about this, Lee Felix," I growl, my voice low and almost threatening. "Don't noona me."

"But you're older than me," Felix replies, innocently facing me with his soft brown eyes.

"By a week, pabo," I counter, narrowing my eyes at the boy next to me. "I'm not your noona, I told you to drop that honorific years ago."

Felix grins widely at my outraged state. "I'm just making fun of you," he tells me, and now it's his turn to let out a soft chuckle. "Revenge is sweet."

I huff in annoyance, and for the rest of our walk to school I stubbornly refuse to look at my friend. Felix walks next to me, a satisfied smile playing om his lips. The boy got it his way.

As we near the school's main gate, a familliar figure appears in the distance. Their trademark colorful scarf is missing but it's still undeniably him, standing there with his hands buried in his pockets and patiently waiting for us to arrive.

A nervous feeling rumbles in the pit of my stomach, soon merging with a gut-wrenching guilt as he raises his hand and enthusiastically waves at us.

I don't even know if I'm capable of avoiding him anymore.

--

Please don't hate Chaelin for this 😂
I prefer to write main characters that have their flaws and make stupid decisions because I feel like a too perfect main character is unrealistic and sometimes even annoying.

Running away from matters that trouble you is always an easy solution and I often catch myself doing the same.

If you want to hate anyone for her stupid decision, hate me lol.