A Complicated Completion

f o u r t e e n- ive done it again

T O M M E N

Eliza was now slung over my shoulder as I walked out of the club.

"Pad, I'm sorry I've done it again," she slurred as I watched her eyes flicker open and close.

I just rubbed her back to push away my feelings, I mean she'd told me about this but I thought that she might be happy here with us.. with me.

I shushed her softly as we drove back to my house in my car, the whole time I silently prayed she wouldn't throw up in it.

I watched her confused face as we whizzed through London and into the suburbs, I don't think she's in London tonight, her mind is far far away.

"Pad! This isn't your house," she still thinks I'm Paddy, Who right now is 220 miles away. Brilliant.

This was the first time I'd brought anyone to my house outside of our little group in a long while, it was nerve racking to bring her here when she didn't even know where here was.

What if my brothers all come running down and seeing a very drunk girl over my shoulder as I walked into my room, oh god I'd look like an absolute nonce.

I slowly opened the door with caution not to make a sound, and walked up the stairs like I had when I snuck in out going to Vins when I was 15.

As I got to my room, Eliza seemed more stable and like she maybe knew what was going on, probably not though. I sat her down on my bed, and handed her a hoodie of mine as she slipped of her little dress.

"Paddy I'm so sorry," she began to cry. Shït.

What are you meant to do when girls cry, fücking hell this might be the end of me.

"I never meant to go this far. I never do," a sob between every couple of words was heart wrenching, "I never even took any drugs this time!" She said the last statement like an achievement. She was more messed up than I ever thought.

I mean its not like I'm convinced everyone isn't a little messed up but her choices have seemingly lead her into a hole, and right now shes trying to dig her way out. Con may of made me too scared to love, but drinks left Eliza defenceless.

"Eliza it's fine, just go to bed," I tried to say as softly as I could in a hope to soon silence her crying.

She let out a groan as more tears brimmed in her eyes, "you're like really mad at me."

How the hell did she get mad from that. Sure I was annoyed that she let herself get that inebriated and upset that she still wanted to go "home" but I wasn't mad.

"I'm not, just go to sleep, it will make you feel better."

"But you called me Eliza!"

"That's your name?"

"Not to you Pad, you never call me that."

"Just go to sleep," I shushed her.

"Don't take me to her in the morning, she'll make me go with him," nonsense started flowing out of her full pink lips and I just watched as she slowly babbled her self into a sleep.

I watched her chest slowly fall and rise,her eyes tightly shut as her mind conjured up a better place than here. She looked sort of funny with my hoodie with a few paint stains swallowing her whole, she could have been swimming in it.

I stood up and walked to the chair in the corner of the room, aka my bed tonight. I fell asleep to the sound of her breathing in my eyes and the sight of her smile in my mind.

I wanted to help her. I didnt want to fix her, but help her. You cant fix people; they're not yours to fix but you can help them realise a more beautiful reality, by removing them from their terrible one. People aren't 60 minute makeovers, they have layers (like onions) and everytime you think you're almost there just know you're not. She wanted to be far away from this place but I knew if she was ever not going to try and not feel she would have to stay.