Lane Assignments

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Ana, I haven't been completely honest with you."

"Christian, I'm not ready to be a mother. It's too soon." she says at the exact same time. "I mean, we've been married for like five minutes. And I'm just now getting settled in at work... we don't even have a house... and then there's all the diapers and vomit and shit."

And then she stops, and I can see her processing what I said. "I'm sorry... what?"

With my free hand, I rake my fingers through my hair, thinking back to those few minutes before the wedding ceremony, when we were waiting for everyone to arrive.

=/=/=/=

Olive's standing a little off to the side, watching Sam and Will as they play. They each have a couple of small cars, and they're racing them over a patch of dirt.

I take the opportunity to walk up beside her, and I just stand there for a moment, letting her take the lead. They did come today, but I know it was not without reservations. Right or wrong, she still holds a candle for her sister.

"Christian, I know that it's over between you and Natalie, and that it has been for a long time. I want you to be happy... I was thrilled that you'd found someone, that you'd moved on with your life. But then when I saw her -" she stops and shakes her head.

"Ollie, I need to know what she told you. Because nothing went on between me and Ana until well after our marriage was over."

"She... she started talking about this talented young athlete that you were both coaching. And shortly after that, she said she felt like you were... disconnected. That you weren't IN the marriage anymore."

Yeah that was about the time that I started dreaming about Ana, began acting on my fantasies in private, started stealing glances at her whenever I could.

"She never came out and said it was Ana, but when I saw her on FaceTime..."

"You connected the dots."

"Yes."

"Ollie, I know that I cheated emotionally on Natalie. I will feel guilty about that for the rest of my life, but today's my wedding day, and I'm not going to -"

"Yeah, I know... and I agree. This is not the time to be dredging all of this up. But there's something that you need to know. That you should share with your new wife."

"Okay..." I say. Her voice is serious, and a feeling of unease drops into my gut.

"Natalie called me last week. She's so excited... she's pregnant. She and Jake - her new husband - are going to have a baby."

=/=/=/=

Ana listens as I recall what Olive said to me that day, her blue eyes never leaving mine. Finally, she sighs and her body relaxes a little. She remembers the puppy at her side and releases my hand, begins to stroke his soft fur again.

"So you think that you're the reason that she couldn't get pregnant? I thought it was undiagnosed."

"It was, but Ana - if she's pregnant, then doesn't it seem obvious? I mean, she and this Jake have only been married for a few months. We tried for years."

She nods. "But I'm tired all the time, and I have these crazy cravings for meat, and I'm... expanding." She gestures down her body to her curves that have seemingly appeared out of nowhere. "Half of my new work clothes that I bought with Kate don't fit me anymore. I mean, look at me."