Entry #13
3:45am
I can't let go. I don't wanna be the girl who fell deep into her mind until it snaps and finally gave in without a fight.
I realize I can only get better only when I allow myself to. I wanted everything gone. Wanted the pain and hurt and all the painful memories along with it gone but what's me without those scars?
Questions is what I seem to have this days but without those scars I'm just plain Jesse. These scars have become me, become my skin as much as Alec was a part of me.
Suicide I realize isn't the way out. It cheats you on your life's worth. Cheats you from realizing the world beyond pain. Cheats you on your very existence. It offers this enticing escape from this cruel reality that it blinds us from the other possibilities. Possibilities like surviving the hurt, surviving the burns and rising from the ashes and being more than just a lost soul. It turns us into victims where we are survivors.
It doesn't just take along our lives. It takes away hope. From everyone that have ever felt the same way and that is why I'm not going quietly cause I've got a reason to live.
I owe it to Alec's and Kit's memories. I owe it to Daniel to be his anchor. I owe it to everyone going through what I'm going through to fight through and give them hope that we can survive and break through. I owe it to my therapist who spent everyday for the past two years trying to help me.
But mostly I owe it to myself to be okay. To heal even if it's not going to happen overnight but everyone deserves a chance.
I'm giving myself a chance.
YOU ARE READING
Invincible
Non-Fictionloosing your lover can put a strain on you. loosing a friend can cause a breakdown. loosing a part of you can make everything SNAP. Jesse lost all three and they took something of her with them. HER SANITY. follow Jesse through the journey of...
