Today I Can.

07. Self Control.

★ Got no self control, because when it comes to you I can't say no. I don't wanna taste, I want it all.
When I get your call, I'm out the door, not a minute more. Like an animal, I lose control, it's illogical.

One little kiss can turn into a thousand, one little touch and I'm gone.

Got no self control ★.

.Self Control. Bebe Rexha.

★★★

Love had fucked up. Majorly. And he still wasn't exactly sure why.

Instead of enjoying the time he got to spend with his mother – which was rare, since she was always away, yet very much precious –, Love went through the entire weekend with his eyes glued to his phone. The reason for this was none other than P'Tangmo himself.

Love hadn't liked the way he had vanished last friday during their conversation when seconds before he had been all about 'accompanying Love so he wouldn't be lonely’. So, after he had waited for the cookies to finished baking – and had got a considerably necessary amount of time to relax – he had split them into two tuppers, and had gone straight to P'Tangmo's room. His concerns had been confirmed when he had knocked on the door more than twelve times without response, his calls for his P’ also being ignored. Love had gone to bed with a heavy heart and a racing mind that night, going over what he had done to make his boy angry. The only thing that came to mind was his newly found crush, and the thought of that being the reason for P'Tangmo's cold shoulder only managed to make him feel even more scared and on edge.

P'Tangmo hadn't replied to his texts during the weekend either, but Love got to know that he was okay by P'Vier, who had accepted to keep Love informed about any sudden changes, or any bad happenings. P'Vier had told him P'Tangmo seemed upset with him as well, but that he still talked to him whenever necessary, and that only made Love more confused. Because… if P'Vier was also the target of his anger, then this had to do with something that had been said during last friday's conversation, and the thing was, Love didn't recall talking much over it. In fact, he remembered having barely opened his mouth during the whole thing.

So why was his P'Tangmo so upset about?

Whatever it was, it was making Love insane. He had not been able to focus on his family at all, too engrossed in his own mind to do so, and he had sent P'Tangmo's way more texts than he should have had, considering he was still afraid of the older finding out about his crush. During that time, however, Love couldn't have cared less about him finding out, he just wanted his best friend back. The main reason he didn't want his P’ to know was that he still wanted for them to be best friends, he wasn't ready to give that title to anyone else.

On monday morning, Love woke up early and, with his head set straight, he walked to P'Tangmo's room, and knocked on the door. Once again, despite repeating this action twenty more times, he didn't get an answer. Defeated, Love made his way to class, and sulked for the whole day. He began thinking about what could have happened again, as he could faintly hear the teacher explaining something in front of him.

Had he given himself away with his attitude? Had he made P'Tangmo notice his feelings towards him? Love was scared shitless he had, and he desperately wanted to get out of here, so he could go running into P'Tangmo's arms, asking for forgiveness. He didn't even care what he would be saying sorry for at this point, he just wanted his P’ back. He couldn't think about his P’ never talking to him again, that was not possible; Love wouldn't be able to take it. P'Tangmo was the person who was always there for him, who always wanted what was best for him, who always placed Love above everybody else.