salvation under my breath

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The first decorations of the neighbourhood went up last week, though not from this house. The Lees are always the first. A few years ago, one of them was in hospital for day surgery and my mother put our decorations up so that we were first. It wasn't done intentionally, we just wanted to decorate the house.

They didn't give us a Christmas card that year. I found it amusing how they took something so small and made it into such a big deal. My mom put extra kisses on our card to them. Just to make a point, I think.

In my humble opinion, Christmas Eve is the best part about the whole month of December. As soon as the gifts are unwrapped and the food is eaten, it's almost depressing. It's all over with. That's why I don't like December twenty-sixth onward. What is the point of those days? They just make everyone depressed. I always disliked New Years Eve, too. Maybe it's because I've never been a big drinker, or maybe it was just the company I kept.

Have you ever been around a small child at Christmas when they don't get what they asked for? More than once I had to hide a smile at their disappointed smiles and soft thank you's when all they received from their Grandma was an ugly knitted sweater.

I got an ugly sweater from my Grandma once. It was bright red and handmade. I had to wear it two Christmases in a row and then thankfully, I grew out of it. I think Jin threw it on a bonfire with his green one.

I wonder when Jennie is going to do her Christmas shopping, or if she's even going to buy anything. I'm not sure how she feels about the holiday's. I should ask her.

For the first time in weeks, Jennie's parents aren't working this Saturday and that's working to her advantage because every time I bring up last night she remembers something she has to do. Her parents are shouting her for something, she needs to take a shower, she forgot to shave her legs. Anything to delay the inevitable.

She has been sitting in the back yard for almost an hour listening to music and every time I call her name from the kitchen window, I don't get a response. I'm sure she hears me, she just pretends not to. She's insane for sitting out there in this weather. The is grey and heavy-looking. It looks like snow. I'm surprised she doesn't complain about the temperature every chance she gets.

For the past two days I've learned how to make objects merge with my body so I can be more useful to Jennie. Helping her to carry the groceries, for example. I finally join her outside, taking a scarf with me for her uncovered neck. I don't want her getting sick. I had a scarf like this once, it made my neck itch. When I'm close enough, I gently lower it to her neck and leave her to tie it how she likes it. I sit down in the next chair to her. "Who are you listening to?" I point to her phone.

"Sarah McLachlan."

I nod in approval and give her time until I'm sure the song she was listening to is over and then point a finger to my ear gesturing her to remove the earplugs.

She does just that before standing up from her seat. "I should go and change the sheets, or something."

"Your dad did them. Sit down."

"My dad did laundry?" she questions as she sits back down. A scoff leaves her lips soon after. "Looks like somebody was caught with the secretary again." She runs her tongue over her teeth briefly. "I always say that if you're going to cheat you should at least be discreet about it. And, secretaries? How very cliché."

"He's had affairs before?"

She nods, unperturbed. "Yeah, a few times. That's why we moved here. For a fresh start, or whatever. It obviously worked a treat."

"Do you think your mom is okay?" I'm concerned. I know how I'd feel in her situation.

"My mom's just fine, trust me. All the late nights they've both been putting in haven't exactly been work related."

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