𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 | 𝐭𝐰𝐝 ¹

13.

   Night had fallen and the group sat around the ember fire. Cheyanne sat in between her mother's legs, sketchbook in her hand. Nicole stroked her brown hair in attempts to comfort herself.

   Nicole glanced behind her to the camp that Ed forced Carol and Sophia to sit at. She felt bad for those two; Nicole knew what Ed did to Carol. She saw how scared Carol was of her husband; she was like a little mouse.

   Nicole knew what it was like -- being terrified of her own shadow. She knew what it was like to feel trapped by not only the person she was bounded to but to be trapped in her own skin. The fear of being hurt was what kept you there. Maybe that's why Nicole was scared of even getting a papercut. That pain from years of abuse -- it sticks.

   Even when the person who trapped you inside yourself is gone, you still find yourself scared of every little crack and crevice. It was horrible. Finally being free and still fearing for your life.

   Nicole had gotten used to the feeling of constantly being scared. She had grown used to looking over her shoulder every spare second. It was as if she was worried that he would appear from thin air and reclaim her life once again.

   She shook that thought to the back of her head. Nicole knew where that monster was. He got locked up. Plain and simple. She knew that he couldn't hurt her anymore; she knew that he couldn't make her into a drug-induced puppy again. Nicole knew that she got free. She knew that she was never going to revert back the little girl who obeyed his every barking order.

   Crickets chirped around the group. Some of the people had turned in for the night since life at the Quarry started early. Shane picked up a stick from the ground in front of him and he nervously messed with it. Nikki knew why; Lori did too. Nicole wondered if the two would tell Rick. And if they did, how would he take it?

   "Disoriented," Rick's voice broke the tense silence. Nicole's gaze turned to where Rick, Lori, and Carl all sat. They were huddled together scared; it was as if they were terrified fate would pull them apart once again. "I guess that comes closest. Disoriented."

   Nicole noticed as Lori started to stroke Carl's hair while looking at her husband. Nicole glanced down to her little girl, who scratched at her face a little bit. Everyone seemed to listen quietly to Rick's story. "Fear, confusion-- all those things but..." Rick began again as some thunder rumbled its way overhead. "Disoriented comes closest."

   "Words can be meager things," Dale spoke as he set down his empty cup of beans. "Sometimes they fall short."

   Rick observed the old man before continuing, "I felt like I'd been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else," Rick paused. Lori lowered her head in a most likely sense of shame and guilt. "For a while, I thought I was trapped in some coma dream," Rick's arm pulled Lori a little bit closer. "Something I might not wake up from ever."

   Carl gazed up to his father and said, "Mom said you died."

   Lori nervously started stroking her son's hair. "She had every reason to believe that. Don't you ever doubt it," Rick said to his son. Nicole noticed the brief look between Lori and Shane. Nicole knew her best friend was wrestling with her guilt. All she wanted to do was take Lori into a hug and comfort her. But they couldn't do that right this moment.

   "When things started to get really bad, they told me at the hospital that they were gonna medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta," Lori paused while stroking her son's hair again, "and it never happened."