𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 | 𝐭𝐰𝐝 ¹

32. *

   Nicole knew what it was like to want an escape. She knew what it was like to feel like nothing mattered but freedom -- freedom from herself, from the world, from society. She knew that it was like to be drowning in the darkness of own emotions. Nicole knew how powerful emotions could be and how sometimes, they take over. She wished some people understood that.

   When she heard about Beth wanting to kill herself from Lori, she searched for Maggie. She didn't know these people very long, but they welcomed her into their home. They wasted supplies on her that there could've used down the road. As far as she was concerned, they were as much her family as the rest of them.

   Nicole limped toward the house with Maggie by her side. Nicole could see why Glenn was infatuated with her. She was truly beautiful. The two made talked about Glenn and Nicole could tell that she really did love him. It was written on her face at the mention of his name.

   Everything seemed to stop when they entered Beth's room and she wasn't there. "Beth?" Maggie called for her sister. There was sudden sobbing from the bathroom; that's when Nicole knew and her heart stopped.

   "Beth?" Nicole cried, limping over to the door. Nicole flinched at the sound of glass, and Maggie started banging on the door once more. Lori entered the room, concerned. "Beth's inside, we heard glass," Nicole quickly caught her up.

   Lori came over and started trying to convince Beth with Maggie. It was no use. "God, I left her with Andrea," Maggie groaned before searching for a key. Nicole let out a worried sigh and raked her hand through her hair. Maggie couldn't find the key.

   Nicole saw a fire poker beside the fireplace and limped over to grab it. She quickly came back and jammed it into beside the doorknob. She pushed and it came open. Beth stood there crying. She turned around and cried, "I'm sorry."

   Maggie cried, kissing her sister on the forehead as she held Beth's bleeding wrist. "Lori, go find my dad," Maggie cried as she sat her sister down on the bed. Nicole grabbed a washrag from the bathroom and scrambled over to the crying pair.

   "Apply pressure," Nicole told Maggie as she handed her the cloth. "Where does your dad keep his medical supplies?" Nicole shot out.

   Maggie sat up, "I'll go get it. I'll be right back," she cried before dashing out of the room. Nicole held the cloth to Beth's wound with teary eyes.

   "I'm sorry," Beth sobbed to Nicole.

   "What for, love?" Nicole tried to calm down the shook girl.

   "For not being strong enough." Beth's blue eyes welled and more tears fell from them. Nicole reached up with her non-bloody hand and wiped one away.

   "Honey, you are strong. You're still here." Nicole soothed as Maggie came back in with the supplies. Nicole met eyes with the frightened blonde, "Everything will be okay."

   Maggie gave her everything Nicole asked for. "How do you know how to do this?" Maggie asked as she watched Nicole stitch up her sister's wrist.

   "I, uh--" Nicole began, pausing as she looped through Beth's skin. "I took a few medical classes after I found out that Chey had an autoimmune disease. It was just to be safe. I'm glad I did now, though." Nicole glanced up to the older sister with a toothless smile.

   Beth noticed the long, vertical scar on Nicole's left wrist. "You did this too," she whispered under her breath. Nicole heard her and sighed. She didn't say anything but an Mhm. "Why?"

   Nicole breathed out as she stitched another time. "I was in a bad place with a bad man. It was shortly after I found out I was pregnant," she began. Nicole paid attention to the loops she was creating. "I tried everything to get away from him, but he always brought me back. So I figured that this baby would be better off never being born than being killed before the time it turned five. But by that time, I was already in love with my baby. So I tried to take my life too."

   Nicole looped one last time, before tying a knot on the final stitch. "I gave up and I wanted to die. I realize now that it was a mistake," Nicole whispered as she grabbed a bandage from the supplies. "But it was a mistake that changed my life. After I did that, I went back home, went to college and now, I have a beautiful little girl." Nicole smiled as she patted down the corners of Beth's bandage. "If I hadn't survived, I wouldn't have gotten to meet the strong, beautiful woman sitting in front of me right now."

   Both Beth and Maggie sniffled and gave a small smile to the older woman. "Bethy, oh my God," Hershel's voice rang out as he entered the room. Nicole took that as her cue to leave. She stood up and began limping out of the bedroom. "Nicole," Hershel called out. She turned around. "Thank you."

   "It's what family does." Nicole turned around and walked out. She disregarded the blood that was on her hands. Nicole stormed past Lori toward the door. She could hear two sets of footprints behind her as she flung open the door. She came face to face with Andrea.

   "Where the hell were you?" Nicole spat out, getting in the woman's face.

   "I heard. Is she all right?" Andrea asked, with very little sincerity in her voice.

   "She would've been if you stayed with her! I just got done stitching that girls wrist," Nicole spat, stepping close to the woman. "So I'll ask again, Andrea. Where the hell were you?"

   "How bad is she?" Andrea dodged the question.

   "It wasn't deep," Lori responded from behind Nicole.

   Andrea smiled at the news. "She wants to live. She made her decision."

   "She tried to kill herself!" Maggie cried from behind the angry blonde. Nicole patience was diminishing very, very quickly.

   "No, she didn't," Andrea spoke up. Something clicked inside Nicole's head. Her knuckles cracked as she clenched them. Before she could control it, her right fist swung across Andrea's cheek. It hit hard.

   "So let me get this straight. You risked that little girl's life to have a freaking catharsis?!" Nicole yelled to the woman, who was now pushing herself from the ground. "Just because you couldn't kill yourself doesn't mean that you can help someone else do it!"

   "That little girl had something to fight for. Someone to fight for her!" Nicole yelled in the woman's face. She couldn't remember the last time she was this angry. "I know you don't care about anything else but yourself. That doesn't mean you can put someone else's life in jeopardy!"

   "I did what I thought was right," Andrea said as she spits blood onto the ground. She stood up rather quick.

   Nicole scoffed, clenching her throbbing fist. "Well, I've got news for you, Andrea Harrison," Nicole spoke in a menacing tone. "You." She stepped closer and spoke quieter. "Aren't." Even closer. "Always." Nicole's lips were brushing against Andrea's ear now. "Right."

   Nicole backed away and took a breath. She clenched her fist again. Instead of punching Andrea, she slammed her injured shoulder against Andrea's as she stormed away. Nicole's hands shook in anger and pain. Emotions were running high and she couldn't control them right now.

   She wanted an escape. Something, anything. Nicole really wished that she knew how to disappear from reality. She didn't want to be in a world where it was easier to give up hope than to have it. She didn't want to live in it anymore.

hey y'all. how was your day? mine was utterly exhausting and now i'm binging the second season of elite and i have no regrets. i'm almost done with it and i'm dying inside. anyway, what did y'all think of this chapter? do you like how nikki snapped on andrea or do you think she was overreacting? did you like the little snippet of her backstory? also, tonight's dedications are to Dalyisa for voting on CG and to bubblebutt18 (i love your user name xD) for adding CG to their reading list. i hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. please feel free to comment and vote; it means a lot to me :). as always, stay safe. kiss your loved ones goodnight. i love you guys and i'll see you on monday. peace babiesss -erin