As Happy As I've Never Been...

~Chapter One~

Copyright @2012

Don't steal my shit, y'all.

"Under my skin that's where it begins right now." I sing at my best friend's surprised face. "Love me, like you've never loved before. If you want it baby, come and get it, don't leave me waiting for more. Don't leave me...waiting for more." I finish and I look to him. He has a smile on his face, that's a good sign... right?

"Now," he begins, "why did you need me to hear this?" He asks. "It was nice and all, but I'm just wondering." He adds quickly. I'm shocked.

"Did you... did you not listen to the lyrics?" I ask him offended.

"I did! That's why I'm confused." He says, dropping the smile. A look of worry slowly creeping onto his face. Oh no, I can feel them coming. The tears slowly start to make their way down my face and a look of realization sweeps over his face.

"Oh Rachel, you can't mean... I mean, we're best friends... I never thought..." He stutters out, never actually completing a sentence.

"Oh, no. My fault. I thought with all the 'I love you''s and hugs and flirting you might've felt something." I say crossly, "My bad. Forget it." I add bitterly. I look down and wipe away tears.

"Oh Best Friend... I thought you heard..." He starts, but trails off.

"Heard? Heard what?" I ask, more to the floor than to him.

"Look at me." He says. When I refuse, he continues. "I asked out Ariel today." He says and when I pick my head up to look at him, he isn't looking at me.

"R-R-Rebecca's friend?" I ask, my crying causing a slight stutter. He doesn't look at me, but nods.

"Ok." I stand. "I get it. She's gorgeous, and I'm just... me." I start to move towards the door when he grabs my wrist.

"Don't compare yourself to her, it won't end well." He says looking me straight in the eye.

"Why? Because even you know how much better she is? Well, of course you'd know, you're dating her!" I shriek as I shake myself from his grip and run out of his room. Then out of his house. I climb into my car, accidentally banging my head on the door on the way in, and start the engine quickly. I drive off as he runs out of his house and stands in the middle of the street, defeated.

I drive a couple blocks away before I pull over and break out into sobs. I knew it. I've always known it. I've always known that I've been friend-zoned into oblivion. But, there always was a glimmer of hope. And now I need to move on. I rest my head against the steering wheel. My phone buzzes in the cup holder, and I pick it up.

"4 Text Messages: Best friend <3

2 Missed Calls: Best friend <3"

I put my phone back without reading the messages. What's the point? They're all going to say, "If you hate me now, I'd understand." I sigh and look in the review mirror to inspect my reflection. My wavy, honey-blonde hair is the same as it always is; frizzy with a slight wave. There's no mascara smeared down my checks, but my eyeliner and eye shadow are a little on the funky side, but I'll live. I'm still whiter than a ghost, but I didn't expect that to change.

I pull my IPod out of my back pocket. I need driving music. I hook it up and press shuffle.

The first song to come on is Scar Tissue by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. I beat the rhythm with my thumbs as I drive. I don't automatically recognize the next song, but the lyrics hit my heart before I can change it.

"I stand and I look right at you, thoughts running through my head, how I thought you were my best friend, now it's different." The singer begins.

"Shit!" I yell in frustration. I can't pause it and drive at the same time. I end up just unplugging the damn thing and throwing it into the passenger seat. I love that song to bits, but right now isn't the time for it. I'm pulling into my driveway when my phone rings. I pick it up, ready to cuss out my Best Friend; when I see that the call isn't from him. It's from my friend Jordyn, I answer and all I hear is screaming.