As Happy As I've Never Been...

~Chapter Six~

We’re all settled on their couch watching, “The Iron Giant.” Jordyn and Niall, in their honeymoon-like bliss, picked it out together and I had just stood there and pretended to be excited when they chose it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love that movie. But I’m too numb to actually enjoy it. Niall didn’t like me. I had gotten my hopes up for nothing, again. I had myself believing that a guy would actually pick me over my attractive, talented, and AMAZING friends. Who was I kidding? Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore.

After, “The Iron Giant.” The boys put on a movie I hadn’t seen since I was about 7, “The Pebble and The Penguin.” And I love that movie too, but I’m still just so numb. I can’t even enjoy anything, and I just keep checking the time on my phone. I fake a laugh, a smile. I fake it all, until everyone falls asleep. Harry has his arm over Rebecca, and she’s cuddled into his side, both asleep. Jordyn has her head in Niall’s lap and she’s asleep, Niall is leaning his against the back. Liam and Zayn are on the floor, where they had settled to watch the movie, and Louis is on the coffee table, snoring. Yep, everyone’s asleep. My eyes drag back to Niall and Jordyn and my eyes start to water up. No. Rachel. What are you even doing? Stop being stupid. I stand up, not disturbing anyone since no one was really noticing I was out of it. In my blurriness, I bump into the coffee table, but it’s slight enough that no one should be bothered by it. I walk to the door and I have my door on the handle as the wrenching sobs start. I barely get the door open as the tears fall down my face. I’m almost to our door as I feel a hand on my shoulder.

“Rachel?” Louis asks.

“Yeah?” I say, not turning around, but containing my sobs, kind of.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, trying to get me to turn around.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s nothing.” I say and begin to walk again; I’m 3 steps away from our door. 3. As I begin to walk Louis turns me around and hugs me. And you know, when someone hugs you, the tears see this as a go ahead and just escape. I’m crying into his shoulder and he strokes my hair.

“Luv, what’s wrong?” He says into my hair, and I shake my head.

“Really, it’s nothing.” I say between sobs. And I release him and begin to walk the last steps to our door. Louis follows. I open the door and more tears slide down my face, Louis follows in.

“Luv, you can tell me, what’s wrong?” He asks and I sit down on the couch and he puts an arm around me in comforting way. I just look at him, and he’s just looking down at me. I sigh and look at the floor before answering.

“It’s a very long story with a very girly and complicated thought process involved.” I say, still looking at the floor.

“Luv, those boys can sleep for days, we have time. Start from the beginning.” He says, and I look up at him. He’s smiling and looking at me encouragingly, I sigh and start from me singing my feelings to my Best Friend. He says nothing, he listens. I tell him how much Jordyn, Rebecca, and Eli adores them, and how I was starting to see why. I tell him that I tend to be a little over aware about things since being smashed by my Best Friend. I tell him that I can’t believe that Simon Cowell has actually heard me sing, and that even though he said I wasn’t commercial enough, I feel good about that. I also tell him how when guys try to be my friend, I always blur the lines between friendship and something more.

By the end, he and I are seated so we’re facing each other and sitting Indian style on the couch. I just stop talking for a little, and look down at my hands that are in my lap.

“So you were starting to have a thing for Niall?” He asks, and I give a slight nod, not trusting my own voice. I might break out into tears again, who knows? “Did you tell Jordyn this?” He asks, and I look up at him, thinking back to Jordyn and my conversation in the limo, did I?