As Happy As I've Never Been...

~Chapter Twelve~

                I just lay here in bed, comforter pulled up to my ears, and stare out the window. I woke up almost three hours ago, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to move. I just keep running my mind over what happened last night. The karaoke, the hookers, no more Ed, Niall taking care of me. Bella’s already been in here this morning, wondering what the hell was going on with me, but I just shrugged her off and continued to stare out my window. I know I still have two more hours before I have to go to class, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to pull myself from this state.

                It takes me a minute, because I’m so out of it, to realize that there’s a knocking on the door. It’s persistent, and unrelenting. Eventually, the sound annoys me so much I decide to go open the door and see who the hell it is. I stand up carefully, my balance is suffering along with the rest of me, and I pick up my comforter and wrap it around my body and pull it up over my head, but not covering my face, and walk to the door. There’s still knocking as I reach the door and pull it open.

                “Rachel, dear lord, you were scaring me.” Louis says and pulls me into a hug. I don’t hug him back, I just fold my arms back inside my blanket and allow him to hug me. “Niall told me what happened, and seeing as I am one of your best friends, I came over.” He says as he realizes me and pulls back to look at my face.  “How are you feeling?”

                “Like a bag of smashed assholes.” I say without emotion and he laughs.

             “I don’t want to say that’s great, but you’re still talking the same.” Louis says with a small smile on his lips. “Come on, let’s go eat.” He says, and I look down at myself.

                “Louis, not only do I feel like a bag of smashed assholes, I look like it too. Plus, I have class in a couple of hours, and I need to get ready.” I say, not really willing to leave the apartment yet. He gives me a knowing look, and steps inside the apartment and closes the door behind him, then leads me to the living room and seats me on the couch with him. I just sit there, in my near comatose state as he says, “Ok, Rachel, tell me what happened.”

                “But you already know.”

                “No. I know what I was told, I want you to clarify.” I just look at him and I can feel the tears starting to build, but I shove them down.

                “After karaoke, Niall walked me home because Ed would rather start walking to his hotel than walking me home, and once here, before I even got inside, I got a text from Rebecca telling me that I needed to get to their hotel now. So I grabbed Niall and he lead me to the hotel and I saw-“ I cut off because the tears I shoved down now come out with a vengeance and start to flow freely down my face, I clear my throat and try again. “I saw Ed, with hookers, dancing around drunk and I-I-I just couldn’t handle it. It was too reminiscent of everything I’ve gone through, but no, I decided to be brave and stand up for myself and my integrity, and look where it’s gotten me. Alone in my apartment, crying over someone who I thought was going to care of me, and didn’t and now… I just… I can’t even…” I ramble out and by the end, my tears are coming so hard and so frequently that I can’t even finish a sentence. Louis just listened the entire time I was talking, and as I shove my face in my hands to try and stop my crying, he reaches out and holds me, which doesn’t help stop the tears.

                Finally, when I stop crying enough to look up Louis just looks at me, and he doesn’t look happy.

                “You’ve had alcoholic boyfriends before, luv?” He asks me, and I shake my head no, and a confused look crosses his face. “Then…?” He asks.