Up to that point, I had tried so hard not to get mad. But when he said that, I gave up trying.
"You know what Felix? It's not my fault that you just can't accept the fact that sometimes, people don't particularly want to talk to you about their problems! If you were in my shoes, you'd understand why I don't want to tell you what's wrong! I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you a lot more fucking times than that and I'll tell you again: I'm fine and I don't want to tell you what's wrong! I'm perfectly fine not discussing it with anyone and so will you! So just stop asking me so many fucking questions about it! At this point, all I can tell you is a half truth anyway. Please...just stop asking." His eyes were wide, his jaw slightly dropped. He was struggling to find words.
"I...I'm sorry. I never realised how much of a dick I was being. I'm really sorry..." His eyes were glossed over and I was terrified he was going to cry. I hate seeing my best friends upset, especially Felix. And this time it was even worse due to the fact he was upset because of me. That's the last thing I wanted.
"No...Felix, i-its ok, I'm sorry. I got mad, I'm just stressed out, I keep getting asked about what's wrong and it's just getting too much-"
"You don't need to apologise. I'll try my best not to ask you if it makes you feel any better. But since you mentioned it...what do you mean you can only tell me a half truth?" Yet again another thing I wish I hadn't had said.
"I mean, I can only tell you a slight reason for what's wrong. But I can't tell you the actual thing that made me run out of Mark's house. Only a small bit of it."
"Well, as long as you can tell me something, I'll be more happy and way less worried. I'll have one less thing keeping me up at night." He gave me a small smile to which I decided to give one back. I was really about to tell him one of the biggest secrets I've ever kept. I took a deep breath and began to speak. My voice was shaky and began to crack. I tried not to cry. But I knew that's exactly what I would do.
"Ok...so, for a few years now, I've realised something about myself that I've been terrified to tell anybody. You're the first person to know about this. The thing is that I'm..." I started choking up. I felt some tears fall from my eyes and roll down my face. Felix watched with concern on his face. He placed a hand on my arm and gave me a small smile.
"It's ok. Just tell me." I nodded and wiped the tears on my cheeks.
"I'm...I'm bisexual." I couldn't stop myself from crying. I'm pretty sure most of what I said from that point was inaudible.
"I'm s-sorry it took so long to tell you but I was so scared. I didn't want to t-tell anyone! I'm sorry...do you still like me?" Felix looked at me startled and wiped the tears from my eyes with his thumb.
"Sean...of course I do. I love you. You're my best friend. The fact that you're bisexual is definitely not going to change that. I don't care who you love. I don't care wether you wanna date girls, boys, both, anyone, if you don't wanna date anyone, I don't mind. And nobody else should either. I'm still gonna love and support you. Ok?" I nodded, so happy that this didn't change anything. Well, the even bigger secret definitely would. But I was just so glad that this one didn't.
"Did you say I'm the first to know?"
"Y-yeah. None of my other f-friends know. Or m-my family." He smiled.
"Wow. I feel kind of honoured." We both chuckled and he continued to wipe the tears off my face.
"I love you ok? And I always will."
"I love you too." He wrapped his arms around me and I hugged him tightly as I tried my hardest not to cry into his shoulder.
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4 Years | Jelix
Fanfiction4 years. For 4 years, Jack had had a crush on his best friend, Felix. And for 4 years he kept that a secret. But now is it time for him to tell someone? Or will that only make things go horribly wrong? Completed Sequel 'Hit and Run' has been publish...
