Starship Armstrong - Season 3

Part 11 - The Statue Of Dr. Kang (X)

Captain Littlecrow leaned back in her chair and rested her hands in her lap. Across from her, on the other side of the desk, Commander Gibson and Lieutenant-Commander Mitzner sat in the other two chairs in her office. This left McAfree the only one standing, all three of the ship's chief officers staring her down.

"You have more insight into this situation than everyone else in this room put together," said the Captain "What do you think Dr. Kang's plan is, Ensign?"

McAfree hoped her eyes didn't light up at the mention of the world 'Ensign'. That she actually derived some pride from her newfound Foundation membership wasn't information she wanted the Captain to have.

Indeed virtually every one of McAfree's actions since coming aboard the Armstrong had involved hiding information of one kind or another from the Captain on behalf of Dr. Kang. She felt very put on the spot now that the Captain intended her to *give* information *about* Dr. Kang.

McAfree wasn't really much for sentimental, getting-suckers-killed ideals like loyalty, but if she ever did decide to show loyalty it would be to Dr. Kang. At the same time she couldn't tolerate his unmitigated jackassery with respect to the sub-iron age rock-headed yokels any longer. He was wasting both of their time.

McAfree wasn't quite sure yet whose side she was on. Still, she didn't see the harm in giving out the 'public' information.

"He really hasn't made much of a secret of his plan," she said. "As far as I know it's still to uplift the-" she caught herself "-locals to like kay point seven. Then convince them he's a god and have them tell stories about him forever? I don't know if you've noticed but it's low-key been his entire life's work since coming aboard this ship to convince primitive cultures to build statues in his honor. What you might have mistaken in the past for altruism the Doc sees as legacy building."

"Did you say he's going to uplift them to K0.7? As in seven tenths of-"

"Kardashev," McAfree finished with the Commander. "Yeah, early space age," she added.

"That would take a century even with an uplift team and a decent sized population, and he has neither down there," said Gibson.

"Well the Doc's of the opinion, and I'm inclined to agree with him, that they stick all the people who were just smart enough for Exploration Fleet but not smart enough for First Contact Division in the Uplift Division. So he figures, and here's where we part ways, that he'll be faster than any uplift team."

"Has he been?" asked the Captain, seriously.

"Well we were way ahead of the standard uplift schedule for a from-scratch operation. But the iron-age stuff is the easy stuff and he doesn't have me anymore. We were short handed enough as it was down there."

"Isn't he worried we'll leave without him?" asked the Captain. "Is he really willing to live on that planet for the rest of his life?"

McAfree's first instinct was to deflect. This was information that could be used against Dr. Kang. However she didn't want him on that dirtball any more than the command crew did. At least this betrayal was for his own good. Or at a minimum hers.

"Oh no, he just doesn't think you'll leave him. He, y'know, has a very high opinion of himself. Figures he's indispensable. It's a belief that governs a lot of his behavior."

"I see," said the Captain. "Ensign McAfree, what would you do in my place? You obviously share our concerns with the viability of the Doctor's plan."

McAfree looked at her fingernails.

"You definitely won't want to do what I'd do," she said.

"Try me," said the Captain.

McAfree hesitated, but only for a moment.

"I'd wait three days for him to get bored," she said. "He's too important to leave and trying to grab him by force will only make him dangerous. But there's no way in all the stars in all the galaxies that he's going to be able to go more than three days without getting bored of this uplift drudgery. Especially if he's not getting push back. Do you really want to know what I'd do if I was Captain? Here's what I'd do: I'd shoot down a probe for his communicator so he could buzz me when he was finished."

"You're not just saying this because that's what he'd want?" asked the Captain.

"Firstly, I don't care what he wants. He's an asshole. Secondly, he doesn't really want to be left alone to his boring work. He wants to feel like he's winning against you, or at the very least the Lieutenant-Commander, because it's the only thing that's giving his boring work meaning. I gave you the absolute perfectly optimal solution to the problem, as I always do. This is just one of those situations where the implementation happens outside of my self so that introduces a major point of failure."

"Thank you Ensign, you're dismissed," said the Captain.

McAfree saluted, she somehow managed to make the act look sarcastic, and took her leave. As the door shut behind her the three bridge officers could hear the first snippet of her conversation with Wagner:

"Oh she just wanted me to solve the entire problem with Doc is all. I guess now that I'm an actual member of the crew I can officially assume my position as *the best one*."

The door sealed shut behind her.

"Captain, you can't possibly be considering-" began Gibson.

"Oh please Captain you can't!" interrupted Mitzner.

"Both of you calm down," said the Captain, "I was soliciting her opinion not entering into a blood pact with her. I'm certainly not going to just give Dr. Kang his way, he would be impossible after that if I did."

"So we grab him," said Mitzner, "just give me the word and I'll assemble a team. Let me just say I have a list of potential volunteers."

"No, I'm actually inclined to agree with the Ensign on that one. Attempting to use force would only make him dangerous."

"So we leave without him?" asked Gibson. "That makes sense."

"It's his own fault," said Mitzner. She was beaming with happiness.

"I'm not going to leave him either, not if I don't have to. As abrasive as he is, as inconsiderate as he is, as insubordinate as he is, he is very useful to our mission. His mind is capable of a lot of good if properly channeled, and at the moment I think out here in the periphery is the best place for him. His gifts are worth the preening arrogance and the occasional handling with kid gloves."

"Captain, you can't be serious," said Mitzner. "You coddle him too much."

"One could make the case that she coddles you, Lieutenant-Commander," said Gibson. "One might go so far as to posit that the Captain tolerates all kinds of nonsense from the entire crew so as not to make herself a hypocrite over the way she lets you take advantage of her."

"Commander, that's enough," said the Captain.

"It sounds like you're going with McAfree's plan after all," said Mitzner.

"Ensign McAfree," Gibson corrected her.

"I'm taking into account Ensign McAfree's psychological insight into the good doctor's motives and am going to talk to him myself. In person. You and I will be heading back down planet-side, Lieutenant-Commander."

"I can't advise that, Captain," said Gibson. "It's dangerous."

"So is space travel, Commander," said the Captain.