Starship Armstrong - Season 3

Part 42 - Wagner and McAfree in No Right Answers (I)

The door to Wagner's quarters chirped, but it was deep into the night cycle and he was fast asleep. It chirped again a bit louder, and someone on the other side began banging on it.

He woke up from all the noise and fumbled around in the dark for his shirt.

"Lights," he said, and his quarters lit up.

His door chirped at him again.

"Yes, fine, enter," said Wagner, pulling the shirt on.

The door slid open. It was McAfree. She was holding an open bottle of red brandy carelessly, it seemed ready to spill any moment, she was unsteady on her feet and her cheeks were flushed red.

McAfree didn't wait to be invited in. She shoved the bottle into Wagner's hands as she walked inside. A few drops spilled on his shirt.

"Start drinking," she slurred, "You're way- you're way behind. Need to catch up."

"This is Elysium, where did you get this?" asked Wagner.

"I stole it from the Doc, where do you think I stole it?" she asked. "And it's not Elysium it's just red brandy. Elysium is named for the region. This pig swill's from Hubbard."

"You're not worried what he'll do when he finds out?" asked Wagner.

"I've stolen way better stuff from him than this," said McAfree, with a dismissive wave that almost threw her off balance. She stumbled deeper into his quarters started rummaging through his cabinets and drawers.

"It's late," said Wagner.

"I noticed," said McAfree

"I'm half dressed."

"You can't drink and state-" she hiccuped a little, "the obvious at the same time," said McAfree.

She pulled a bottle out of a cabinet, inspected it, frowned, then set it aside on the counter.

"What are you looking for?" asked Wagner.

"More alcohol," said McAfree.

"I don't have any," said Wagner.

"Then candy," she said, tersely. She slapped a cabinet in frustration. 

"There's no candy either," said Wagner. He put the bottle of brandy down on a small table near the door and walked over to where McAfree was. He tried to guide her into a chair. She looked ready to stumble and fall any minute. "Why don't you sit down?"

McAfree tried to shrug him off, but in doing so just caused herself to fall into the chair.

"You're very drunk," said Wagner.

"You're very sober!" McAfree snapped back, like it was an accusation.

"What's going on?" asked Wagner. "You've never done anything like this before."

"Oh what would you- would know what I've done before?" demanded McAfree. "I'm not allowed to get drunk? I have to get kidnapped, beaten, stunned, kidnapped, stunned, and betrayed by the last person who I thought was my friend but I'm not allowed to numb myself with alcohol? No. The answer is you're wrong and you're an asshole so go pour yourself a drink. We're drinking together right now and you're doing a piss poor job of it."

"What?" asked Wagner, suddenly quite concerned. "What happened?"

"Exactly what I-" the next word she attempted to say was "delineated" but it turned into an incomprehensible slurred mush, "the Lieuten-en-ant-Commander's sister arranged to had me kidnapped and then the Lieuten-en-anan-t-Commander helped the kidnappers escape any punishment... because she hates me."

McAfree could barely squeak out that last part. She was fighting a losing battle against actually sobbing but tears had already spilled over her eyes.

"She doesn't hate you," said Wagner. "I thought you two were friends."

"So did I!" yelled McAfree. "That's why I'm upset you stupid asshole!"

She began to weep openly.

"Everybody hates me," she continued, between sobs. "Even the people I think are my friends hate me. Nobody even cares what happens to me. Everyone thinks I'm a monster just like Dr. Ka-ang!" she stretched the 'a' in his name out into a whine which devolved into more sobbing.

"I have no idea what went on down there but I'm sure the Lieutenant-Commander didn't do anything motivated by any kind of malice towards you," said Wagner. "Nobody hates you."

"Shut up, Wagner, what do you know," snapped McAfree. "Everyone hates me. Even you hate me you said so at the card game."

"That's not what I said at all."

"It's what you were thinking!"

She went back to sobbing.

Wagner didn't know what to do. He couldn't deal with girls crying on his very best day and this was Yoshiko McAfree, someone he didn't even really see as human a lot of the time. He had never seen her this vulnerable before. That said he had never seen her this drunk before either.

"I've never thought that," said Wagner. "As mean as you can be sometimes I've never hated you. I actually admire you a great deal. In point of fact you're my favorite person on the ship. Now let's get you back to your quarters and you can sleep this off."

Wagner tried to help McAfree to her feet. She stumbled a little, then deliberately fell into his arms. She kissed him.

Wagner pushed her away gently.

"Yoshiko, you're drunk," he said.

McAfree's eyes spilled over with tears again. She shoved Wagner as hard as she could and stormed from his quarters a crying, uncoordinated mess.

The door shut behind her.

Wagner wished he knew what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. He stood for a long moment in stunned indecision. 

"Lights," he said at great length, then crawled back into bed in the darkness.

The stolen brandy was still on the table by the door.

End: Wagner and McAfree in No Right Answers