Breakthrough

Chapter Two

My parents didn't ask much about what happened yesterday. They were too tired to keep pressing on the subject. Alexis hadn't sent any texts, neither had Ryder. Can't say I'm surprised from him, it's expected behavior from him, but not from her. She probably thought that this was one of the many times we disagreed but continued talking normally afterward.

I'll have to admit, I was hoping to wake up to a text from him, anything actually. Anything that proves or gives me a sign that he cares. Maybe I'm asking from too much. After all, we did agree to be 'distant' friends. Moreover, he said that and I had no choice but to comply, because  I desperately did not want to lose touch with him. I knew that if I had fought with him on the matter, I would have just made it worse.

Maybe you weren't the one for me, but deep down I wanted you to be. I thought long and hard about this lyric from the song coaster. It's crazy how one person could have such a huge impact on you. How one decision could really shake up your life. It sucks how one person could take up so much of your mind, and you aren't even a tiny bit in theirs.

Memories are tricky things, sometimes they are filled with smiles and fun, other times they make you dread your ability to remember. How you can remember every little detail that you wish you could forget, because of how much pain is linked to them. I zone out a lot, thinking back to what happened, where did it go wrong? All those flashbacks hitting me out of nowhere. Whether it's at school in class, while I'm taking a shower, eating any type of meal, or right before I go to sleep and after I wake up.

Even seeing things that were there that night. Clothes that I was wearing, or the gum wrapper and the water bottle cap I kept of that day we were together because I can't let go.

It's been a week since the party. Alexis had spoken to me in school as if nothing was wrong like the party never happened. She says she doesn't remember most of it, including our fight. Somehow I didn't believe her but I didn't want to push the subject.

Ryder didn't talk to me. We've made a few eye contacts but that's all it was, just a three-second look and he would turn away. Sometimes I wondered if he had noticed me from far since he wears occasionally wears glasses. He had posted a picture on the day of the party and there was a girl tagged. Nicole was her name, she was public so I was able to see how she looked like. She was beautiful, with her light gleaming skin and her straight long black hair fell on her petite shoulders. Her eyebrows were done, and they had an edge. Curved lashes complimented her gorgeous brown eyes. He never tags people unless they were in the photo with him, I guess she was special to him.

I stubbornly decided to call Ryder again, as I was home alone and all my friends were outside doing something that made them occupied. Again, he answered and again I was shocked.

"Hey."

"Hey", he replied back.

"Where are you?", I always ask him this question just in case he's not alone or with his friends outside.

"Home", he answered.

"I'm home alone with nothing to do, so I was wondering if you don't mind talking for while", I said with a hint of hope that he won't close the phone.

"Sure", wow, to be honest, I did not expect him to accept.

"So how's life?"

"Cool, hey did you know that I'm in a thing with a girl", he said it very happily.

Yes, yes I did, just because he had me blocked on Instagram recently doesn't mean I haven't found other ways to view his profile, after all, he is public.

"No, I didn't, but I'm happy for you, who is she?", I asked even though I knew who she was. I tried making myself seem happy, but truthfully I was hurt, I always thought he'd come back but I guess he's moving on from something that wasn't really an important matter, but it could've been if he was willing to fight for it like I was.