After school
I was walking home with Eleanor trying to pitch ideas of how i should apologize to Harry. So far out of all the girls she's the best listener. She would nod to consider what I said and then explain to me ever so gently why its was a horrible idea.
"Okay how about: this 'Harry its not you, its me. I am so -'" My phone began to ring.
Fear struck into my heart but, then I was put at ease when i saw who it was.
"El, I gotta take this" i told her apologetically
"No its fine I'll meet you at home" waving as she started for the cabin.
I found an empty bench and pressed answer.
"What do you want Niall"
"I don't think I can do this anymore. He starting to suspect!" Niall said in a hysterical whisper while he wiped his nervous sweat away.
"Suspect!" I yelled i hadn't text Harry yet and the only people who know are the girls and Niall so WHY in the world would he be suspecting something unless....
" You said something didn't you!?"
"No! You know I'd never do that to you, your my sister. Its just that Harry is my best friend and he's starting to notice how strange we're being"
"Niall just stay calm. It was just a one time thing. Nothing more, nothing less. You did nothing wrong, I did. And if something goes down, I'll take the fall not you. All you have to do is keep your mouth shut." trying to be the rational.
"I'm trying but you know I cant keep secret!s" He looked around frantically cause he said it a little to loudly.
I paused
He's right. He is absolutely terrible at keeping secrets. Even as a child, he was a common factor to many of my groundings. He sweats, frets, and then spills his guts (sometimes literally). Im screwed. Harry had discovered this about Niall so that must be why he's so suspicious. And if he gets Niall to talk, Im screwed. Im screwed. Im screwed.
I sighed and rested the phone on my forehead for a minute.
I raised it back to my ear.
"....and why'd you even tell me! I don't think i can stay in training anymore...can I go to mating camp with you? No that will never work, unless I wear a wig! Im mean were like twins right? I'll look like you, well kinda, but still if-"
"Niall!"
"yea?"
"Give Harry the phone"
"WHAT? are you crazy"
"Give. Harry. The. Phone" i said firmly
"Alright"
I could hear him sigh and rustling for a minute or so before i heard....
"Hello?"
"Babe" i said sadly.
"where have you been? You haven't answered me in 3 days! I was starting to worry"
I swallowed.
"well thats because.."
Its now or never.
"I uh.... lost my phone at the party and i just got it back"
Wow. It was like the words just fell out before I could truly understand what i was saying. I was lying. My own lie even left me speechless. Did I really just lie to Harry? I've never done that before.....
"Oh well that explains it! For a minute there you had me worried " he sighed in relief
He continued on to tell me what he had been doing for the last few days and how concerned he was but I honestly wasn't listening. I was too hung up on my ridiculous lie.
Three questions stayed in my head:
What if he finds out the truth? Can I take it back? Will he hate me more?
I knew I couldn't handle the answers to these questions, so I came up with my own new set of questions:
Why ruin a 2 year relationship over one night?, It only happened once its not like we had sex right? & lastly
How's he gonna find out anyway!"
".... And Niall was acting so weird and I thought he knew something so I-" Harry vented on snapping me out of the shelter of my thoughts. I forgot about Niall! He could be the deal breaker in this whole thing! Time to tie up a loose end.
"Oh yeah well that's probably because of the argument we had a few days ago. It was about our relationship..."
"Our relationship?" Harry questioned.
" Yeah, he was saying stuff like 'how much he hates hearing about us and our problems.."
" What? i thought we sorted that all out last week" He exclaimed.I noted how his tone changed from relieved to annoyed.
"He mentioned that, he said that he didn't want to hurt your feelings because of how hard you were taking the whole 'long distance' thing". I continued
" He wanted me to tell you to stop bring it up to him cause it makes him feel ' very uncomfortable''"
"Oh really? I think I need have a word with him later" Harry said angrily
"No wait! Don't do that! I think you should just let it go" I said panicking.
"Huh?" he said in a confused. Okay Nina better make this one good. Think..Think...Think.....Got it!
"Because, i thought about it long and hard and he's actually right"
"He's right?" sounding even more confused
" It all adds up to Jessica! Remember how wrecked he was when it ended? we're probably reminding him of those old feelings" I let harry think it over for a second
Jessica was Niall's girlfriend for a long time almost an entire year until she broke up with him 5 months ago. Niall adored her, practically worshiped the ground she walked on. He took it hard. He was devastated but with help from me, harry, the rest of the family and 5 weeks of counseling, we manage to get him back to normal. From that day on he vowed to save himself for his true soul mate and not for someone he could only love temporarily.
"So your saying we're in somehow bringing back those old feelings" Harry said slowly trying to make a connection and frankly me too. What am I saying?
"Bottom line is: nobody likes to be alone. And 3 years is a long long time. We have something special and right now he has nothing. So instead of flaunting our love in front of him lets just, keep it between us. Okay?"
At this point, I'm sweating. I had no idea where any of this was coming from nor do I know if Harry was buying any of it. I was just so desperate to be in Harry's good graces, I would even lie on my own brother, my own flesh and blood. Whatever I was feeling earlier, is no where near as terrible as I feel right now. I was a sellout, a liar, and a coward in just a few short minutes.
I could literally visualize the angel on my shoulder shaking its head disappointingly, while the devil on my other shoulder applauded my outrageous fib. He began to whisper into my conscious: 'Everybody wins. You guys get to keep your relationship, Niall doesn't have to listen to Harry's woes anymore, and nobody will ever know truth!'
Well .. I'm already in too deep to turn back now aren't I? Guess I'm sold...where do i sign?
"Wow I never even thought about it like that. All this time he's been trying to hang in there with me, he's actually hurting himself in the process....gosh" Harry embarked upon this new revelation..."
"How'd you figure this out?"
" Twin telepathy" I answered frankly while staring at my nails. I made this bed so, might as well lay in it.
"Huh, well it was good hearing from you..." He said changing the subject. Thank God!
"You too i've been missing you a lot lately... and it so weird cause its like the most random little things. Like that silly laugh you do when your excited or when you go for a snack its almost always banana" I laughed at the memory
"Is that what I'm gonna be remembered for? Being a goof with a banana in his mouth" he joked
" You know what I mean" i rolled my eyes with a huge smile plastered on my face "I miss this, i miss us and how we used to be.." before everything became so dark and twisted. I thought to myself. I rested further into the bench.
" I feel the same, thats why I've been going out of my mind these last couple of days"
" Well I have my phone now, so we can go back to our usual. Okay?"
"Okay" he confirmed happily
"Now put my brother back on the phone" i chuckled
" Alright, love you!"
"You too" I said
If I'm not mistaken i thought i heard a disgruntled sigh. What? all i said was you too. I'll overlook it for now.
"Niall?"i called out
"Okay, so what did you say? did you tell him? Is he angry at me? Oh I bet he's mad at me. He handed me the phone without saying a word! Yup he's totally mad at me. How could you do this me, I am in a pack now, Nina so whatever damage you do towards me will last for all eternity,it will be permanent!, my legacy!'" Niall cried out and rambled on.
I eventually just let him mental for a few minutes. I mean i tried to stopping him like 20 times but he wouldn't listen and at the end of the day this is all just pent frustration from something I did. So i should at least have the patience to let him, let it out.
"Why Nina? Why?" he finished with a pathetic sob.
"You done?" I asked after waiting for 10 minutes.
"Yes" He sniffed
"So we talked it out and every thing's fine. We're still together and no, he is not mad at you. Although, my advice: don't bring up that night like... ever. Besides what's the use in opening old wounds right?That being said I have to go"
"Oh well i guess every thing's settled then.." He laughed at himself" And here i am almost having a meltdown for no reason"
"Almost?" I said snidely
"Don't push it! I'm still mad at you" He said in a bratty way
"Aww bro, i love you" I giggled
"Love you too. Talk to you later sis" And with that he hung up, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Surprisingly instead of ridiculing me, it was doing damage control.
'Everything is going to be fine. No one going to find out, and chances are you'll never see that guy again anyway'
Which was exactly right. I will avoid that boy like the plague if I had to. In fact let me delete his number from my phone.
I started searching for his name in my contact list when....
"Hey Beautiful you made it!" he smiled widely as he walked up toward me.
I looked up speechless. Not just because he was looking extremely hot but, because I wasn't aware I was supposed to be meeting him. I looked to his hand to find that he was holding a picnic basket. My heart skipped a beat at the possibility that it might have been meant for me.
"You know they have this new thing out called the 'reply button'. its a pretty useful tool" he chuckled at his own corny joke "im just glad your here" He stopped in front of me with a beaming smile then, he grabbed my hand and started dragging me.
I was too flabbergasted to understand any of what was going on so, i just let him tug me along to our destination.
'Could I really go on this date right now? i mean i just told all these lies to protect my relationship! But...I really like this guy and for the past few days i've been in battle with my thoughts of which one held the most importance. Telling Harry or seeing Ellis again. Harry won only because Niall called me but if that hadn't occurred.... No, No even still I cannot do this I just fixed my relationship and that's that' i thought firmly.
This time the angel on my shoulder spoke up 'Fixed? Nah, you already screwed that up sweetheart' he chuckled
'So you might as well just go for it' the devil on my shoulder offered. With the both of my consciences shrugging at me and my mind at war with me, I decided to go with my heart...
"I wouldn't miss this for the world" I smiled at while allowing him to lead me wherever he chose to go.
