I need to get over what I just heard Anthony saying, he is having a nightmare and clearly it's affecting him in a negative way.
I shake him, "Anthony! Wake up!" I yell, as Anthony darts himself up out of his position, with his breathes heavy and sweating like crazy.
"I...I'm sorry to wake you. You were having a bad dream." I say. It doesn't take long for me to notice tears in Anthony's eyes.
"A-Anthony?"
"I lied!" He yelled, as he burries his face into his hands and begins sobbing out loud.
"Anthony? It's ok..it's ok. Talk to me, I'm here for you." I say, trying to comfort him. It's weird, I feel like I'm comforting a complete stranger, but why does my heart feel like I've known him for years now?
"I-I just..." He begins crying more, unable to talk, and it sounds like it is getting hard for him to breathe. His sobs sound painful. "Anthony....just let it all out." I say.
This man is broken. I can tell, he is just a broken man, with nowhere to go. It is so obvious. He continues sobbing, and sobbing, and sobbing. I can barely even tell if he's taken a breathe in awhile, so I try to remind him to breathe over and over again, and he finally seems to calm down a little.
"Just...just talk whenever you're ready." I say. Anthony nods his head, and takes a few deep breathes, as he wipes all the tears out of his eyes and off his face, His eyes are pure red, and he just..he's a mess. I don't know what else to say.
"S-sorry about that." He says. I nod in complete understanding, as he takes one more deep breathe before explaining. "Matthew. Uhh...I guess you heard me say his name...didn't you?" He asks. I nod. He shakes his head. "He was uhh..my friend. We go way back since the second grade. We-we did everything together. Uhm...in seventh grade I realized I was....gay. I never told anyone, except for him. He understood, and one year later, he also realized he was gay. We...I don't know what to say, overtime we just fell in love with each other. We did everything together. We just...ugh...so close. But, we never told anyone we were dating. We were together secretly. Everyone knew we were friends, but noone knew we were boyfriends. So uh.....it was hard to keep to ourselves, but we somehow pulled it off." He pauses, looks down with pain in his eyes, and continues, "Then, uhm...it was last month. He came out to his parents. They told him that he was a disgrace to their family. I tried to be there for him I...I did everything I could possibly do to keep him mind off of it..I..I didn't know he was that...broken." He closed his eyes for a second, took another deep breathe, and he looked as if he was holding back more tears. He opened his eyes back up, "He slit his wrists. He died...I..I never saw that coming and uhh....thats when my own parents found out that we dated and..." He closed his eyes and started crying again, "They disowned me and kicked me out of their house. They-they just threw me out like I was some sort of trash!!! They reacted the same way Matthew's parents did! They aren't there for me! Matthew's, the love of my life is dead, and my own parents wish I were never born!" Anthony yells in between sobs, as I just pull him into a hug. My heart...is broken for him.
It's official, I am an asshole.
