Anthony tries to calm himself down, "Just let it out Anthony..just let it out, it's unhealthy to keep your emotions all to yourself...just let it out, you have every right to cry over this." I feel Anthony nod his head lightly over my shoulder.
It's weird though, having a heart to heart with a man I just met last night, yet I feel already as if there was some sort of purpose in meeting him.
As if it was meant to happen. Maybe we have somehow always been meant to meet eachother. What if our hearts have always been connected somehow?
Or..what if I am just overthinking this.
Either way, like I said before, it took Anthony's life getting kicked in the nutts for me to realize what all I didn't realize I was lucky for having.
After a few minutes, I hear Anthony stop, mid sob, pull himself out of the hug, and sigh, "Thanks..sorry about that I uh.." "Dont even apologize Anthony...sometimes you just have to let it out."
His eyes are puffy, as he wipes all the tears from his eyes and off his face, and sighs.
"I-I'm so sorry Anthony..I had no idea you went through all of that.." I say quietly.
He shakes his head, "It's fine, I mean, who would've guessed?" He asked, forcing out an emotionless chuckle.
"It's not ok..." I say. I feel regret for all the decisions I have made in my life leading me up to this point. I lift my knees up and fold my arms over them, looking down.
"You alright?" He asks.
I sigh, "No...I'm not." I say. He crawls over to me and puts his arm on my shoulder, "What's wrong?"
I look over to him, "It's just...I'm a dick, aren't I?" I ask.
"Well, I mean, I barely know you. So far you've been pretty damn ok." He says, with a faint smile.
"No i-ugh, it's stupid.." "Ian, if it's enough to make you feel upset, it's not stupid."
I finally give up, "I...I feel so damn selfish is all." I say shaking my head. "Why is that?" Anthony asks. I sigh, "Well, ok, I guess this will answer your question as to what I was doing out here in the first place.." I pause for a second, then continue, "I found out yesterday that I was adopted.." Anthony widens his eyes. "W-wow." "Well, yeah, but honestly, I overreacted. I mean my parents told me that my birth mom and dad were just to young and I didn't listen, I left the house and began driving around town for awhile. I was running out of gas so I parked my car at a gas station just to remember that my dumb ass forgot money for gas. So I began walking around town, going god knows where, trying to find my birth parents. I got lost, so...I just somehow got all the way out here." I pause and Anthony is still looking at me wide eyes, "Yeah I know, I'm a dumbass, probably should've taken my phone." "Well, I mean, you got some pretty heavy news there, it was a lot to take in, i think that would be anyone's natural reaction...to be at least a little pissed off."
I stand myself up, forgetting about my head injury, and feeling a little dizzy at first. But, I ignore, it, and walk away a little to breathe. I cross my arms, "Yeah but, I mean after hearing your story..it just made me realize like..what all I had, and I took it all for granted." I turn back around to Anthony, "Anthony, I am so sorry you had to go through that.." I Say, with my voice cracking mid sentence. "It's ok, it's ok.." "Anthony it's not ok! You don't deserve to go through all of that bullshit! No one does! Who the hell am I to get my ass all worked up over something so minor compared to that!?" "Ian!" Anthony yells. "What?" He takes a deep breathe, "Ian, you don't have to compare your problems to mine." I shake my head. "I just feel...." I Stop mid sentence. "I feel inspired by you for some reason." Anthony widens his eyes once again, "How?" I look down. "I really don't know. Forget I said anything."
Anthony looks around a little, probably trying to forget about what I just said, "Well, I noticed that you're able to stand up again...wanna try to go walk around again before it gets dark?" I nod my head, "Sounds good."
We begin walking together, and the walk is pretty silent.
"So Ian...I have to ask you something?" Anthony asks. "Go ahead." I respond. "Are you...well....heh...this is kinda awkward..you just.." He pauses. "Yeah?" I ask. "You just remind me of him.." I hear him whisper quietly. "Are you gay?" He whispers even more quietly, almost inaudible. I play dumb and act like I didn't hear him, "What was that?" Anthony darts his eyes up, "Oh uh-uh-uh-uh-I-I-I asked uh-uh-do you like...uh video games! Uh, you like video games?" I giggle a little, at his stuttering as well as at the fact that he was to shy to ask me his real questions, "Yes, I love video games." He chuckles and blushes slightly, "C-cool..." He whispers. I giggle a little more at his shyness.
Adorable.
