can anybody find me... // hardzello [FINISHED]

oh somebody

Joe, 9:21pm: hold your horses ben, call me when you're home and calmer

Joe could tell his heart skipped a beat when Ben told him that the date had gone supposedly wrong, but for one that was selfish of him and also really alarming that he could experience any kind of feeling of exclusiveness or jealousy over his friend. It was stupid and unhealthy but he couldn't help, Ben was someone he'd like to have in his life for a while, he was a good...

Friend?

"Yes, friend." He thought. He hoped.

"Fuck."

"Nope, this is not happening. Not with Ben. Not with that sweet goofball that... No! No!" Joe shook his head and put the phone down. He sat on the carpeted floor, curled up in the middle of the empty living room. Joe had just moved in and had no money for furniture, so the living room/kitchen was empty, except for a stovetop, a microwave and a small fridge in a corner and a plastic table in the other. The living room part of the house was carpeted and empty, so lots of space for joe to sit or dance or whatever, but honestly he had had some trouble distributing himself in space, he felt invasive and possessive, so he just liked to curl up in small areas not to bother — the carpet? He didn't know, at this point he was just consumed by all the old tweaks he had developed while living in the states. He wanted to overcome all of the little anxiety habits, but moving to the UK sort of sparked up all his insecurities. So, essentially, he was a mess. His house was a mess. His emotions too.

— For fucks sake...

Joe whispered to himself, letting the sentence leave in an exhalation of his breath. He wanted friends, at least a friend, lovers were not at stake, love was not at stake and Joe didn't want it to be for as long as he could. Ben was too good of a friend and too interested in Maddie for Joe to ruin anything. But he was alone, for a couple of seconds, maybe even minutes, he could let his mind wander over the hypothetical universe where Ben would be a possible and realistic interest. He got up and put Play The Game by Queen, closing his eyes as he hear Freddie say "Open up your mind and let me step inside", moving his body, swiftly dancing on his own.

"His messy mullet makes him look like Roger Taylor. His green eyes are emeralds to me, preciously beautiful. Oh and his smile, it's adorable, it's almost innocent, although I can imagine dirty smirks or seductive grins. And Ben's body — oh God, Ben's body. The broad shoulders, muscular arms and strong hands. Those were the features I seen until now, and would probably be the the one's I'll ever see. Fuck. His laughter is something so filling and contagious." At that point Joe's thoughts led him to smile timidly "And his accent is so beautiful and his voice is so deep and hot and..." Joe stopped himself there, he felt embarrassed to think about Ben in a sexual way.

He was so incredibly red, flustered, he could feel his cheeks burning and the jeans suddenly becoming too tight.

— Oh God no!

He looked to the ceiling, groaning in frustration as he pulled his computer out of the floor to watch a movie and distract himself. That was a bad idea, no more letting himself wander over Ben. At least not let his thoughts go anywhere close to where they were few seconds ago.

After a while, he felt alright and went on to his room — to his mattress, to be more precise. He sat down and rested his head on the wall, when he heard the buzzing of his phone.

It was Ben. Joe sank in shame, but tried to make it appear like he was fine when he picked the call. It was 9:40pm exactly.

— Hello?
— Joe! Oh my god mate thank goodness, I thought you wouldn't pick up!

Joe chuckled a bit, drifting his eyes to the floor, remembering minutes ago. But something in Ben's voice seemed off, he couldn't quite figure what.

— Of course I would! Why would you think otherwise? Am I that bad of a person in your eyes?
— Yes Joe, in fact I think you're terrible. — said Ben with irony, dragging the last word a bit — That's why I talk to you and text you everyday. No silly, it's because you said to call you when I'm home and — Ben giggled like a little girl, Joe could imagine what was going on — I'm not exactly at my house! But I am calmer!

Ben's laughter filled Joe's ears, his heart slightly skipped a beat.

Joe sighted. If Ben was drunk in a Bar, Joe would definitely worry, even more than he would if Ben was crying at home.

— Ben... are you at a bar? Are you drinking?
— Well yes I'm drinking, but I am at no bar! I'm with my friend Lucy and her boyfriend Rami, they're—
— Did you say Rami? Like Rami Malek?
— Yes that's him! How do you know that?
— Well Ben, I know Rami. He went to high school with me back in the US.

Joe heard Ben gasping with surprise and putting his phone a little further away from his face, but he could still hear him talking.

— Rami! — Ben said, really extending the 'A' — I'm with Joe on the phone! Which Joe? Hang on, Joe what's your last name?
— Mazzello. — Joe answered hesitantly
— It's Joe Mazzello! You went with high school with him!

Joe was panicking, his legs were shaking and he felt tears coming, but he had to hold it, it was his good old friend Rami. As he breathed, he heard the phone being pulled from Ben's hand Rami's voice getting closer.

— Joe! Dude it's been years! How's it going? — He said that last sentence almost singing; Rami was also drunk — I didn't know that you and Ben knew each other! He's friends with my girl, Lucy! Lucy babe! Joe, my best friend from high school is on the phone! Joe! Oh my God Joe do you wanna come over? Spend the night at Lucy's?
— Uh, I don't know Rami, I...
— Come On... It's gonna be so much fun!
— Well, I... I mean I... I just...
— Oh Joe, quit stammering, imma text you the address through Ben's phone! See you soon!
— But I...
— Bye!

... And he hung up. Seconds later, he got a text from Ben, the address. He pondered for a few minutes if he should go, his anxiety battling him on the topic, on one side telling him Rami was just a polite drunk and on the other saying that if he didn't go they'd think Joe was a bad friend.

Joe stuck with the bad friend part, so he went to catch the subway. It was late but Lucy's house wasn't far, in fact, by 10:17pm he was already going up the stairs from the underground station.

When he got to Lucy's building, he rang a bell on the side of the wall with the apartment number.

— Helloooooo — Sang a voice. Ben's voice, he guessed.
— Hey Ben, it's Joe. — he was still anxious — could you please let me in?
— Sure! Rami! — Ben screamed his friends name — How do I let Joe in!?

Ben 'hung up', and in a few seconds the door buzzed open. He got on the elevator to Rami's apartment.

— God what am I doing?

He whispered to himself. This could go really wrong.

IS THIS GOOD? IS THIS BAD? WHAT IS THIS MY DARLINGS? ON A SCALE OF HORRIBLE TO ROGER TAYLOR IN THE 70s (perfection) HOW GOOD WAS THIS CHAPTER???

here's a picture of roger for reference

anyway, i hope you liked it! more chapters coming soon, hopefully =)