Love And Leather

Chapter 9

I hit Jug's leg under the table at Pop's. He chuckles, “Ow.”
“Dad's here,” Polly says, reading a text from her phone. I lower my head and look at the food in front of me, suddenly not hungry anymore. I just hope he isn't coming in and I won't have to see him. It's the first time in two months any of us would see him. But I don't want to.
I don't have to look up to know that Polly is the first to get up, taking Millie with her. The next one, about ten seconds and some thoughts later is Kelly while me and Kev keep sitting. I look up at him and he is looking at me worriedly.
“I can stay home,” he offers, but I know he misses him. Even though he knows what our dad did to me, he also knows (they all do) that he'd never do that to any of them.
“No, it's alright, Kev. Go,” I say with a small smile. He still looks at me, unsure, but then gets up slowly and takes his bag like the others.
“Betty,” I hear Millie's cute voice. I gulp my tears back and look at her. She's literally reaching out from me, even though she's on Polly's lap. “Come,” she says quietly.
I smile a little. “I need to stay home to study,” I lie. Even though she just got two like a month ago, I can see the disbelief in her eyes, but she nods sadly. I lean a little up and kiss her hand reaching out for me and she seems to be satisfied by that.
“Come on,” Polly tells her quietly and they start going. I see Kelly stopping in a few steps. She seems to think about it, staring at the ground, and then she comes back to the booth and sits down slowly (next to me), looking at the table like I am.
“So you two are not going?” FP asks. “Why?”
“I-uh… I don't want to. I can stay home, right?” Kelly asks mom.
Mom sighs. “Honey, you should go with your dad, he wants to see you.”
I look up a little and I can see from Kelly's face how she's struggling and not knowing what to do. She obviously doesn't want to leave me at home alone, but she also knows that I would never come. She knows dad won't hurt her, but she doesn't want him hurting me either. She knows he is a bad person, but he's still her dad and she loves him.
“Okay,” she says finally and probably looks at me before going away.
I just keep staring at the table, feeling like something just tightened in my stomach, feeling the tears boiling in my eyes and feeling the fucking desire to let the burning sobs out of my throat. The problem is, they're all looking at me. JB and Jug and FP are probably really confused by why I didn't go and why mom didn't tell me that I have to either. I feel Jug reaching for my hand, his fingertips touching my fingers already, but I grasp it away quickly and make myself stand up and go to the bathroom. And my tears finally find their way out.

After about five minutes of silently crying, I decide it's for the best if I go back now, even if I have to face their pity faces –if mom told them– and questions if she didn't.
So I go out of the bathroom and as I'm making my way back to our table, a known redhead girl, the HBIC, steps on my way and doesn't let me continue my walk.
I glare at her and try to take another step on my right, but she does the same with an evil grin. I sigh and roll my eyes. “What do you want, Cheryl?”
“An explanation,” she says with a big smile. “Why didn't you go? Your daddy dearest is waiting.”
“He’s not. And none of your business, now if you'd excuse me…” I step on my left and one step forward, but as she does the same, we're face to face, like only one foot between us.
I start to get angry. “If I threw a stick, you'd leave, right?” I ask annoyed. She scoffs and just keeps standing like this, crossing her arms. I wait for a few more seconds and when she doesn't say anything, I roll my eyes again. “I don't know what your problem is, but I'm guessing it's hard to pronounce,” I say annoyed.
“Where's my explanation?”
“Oh it's up your ass, Cheryl,” I say angrily now.
She scoffs. “Were you born with that mouth? Or is it something Southside mothers teach their bastard babies?”
A smile comes onto my face and she seems taken back from that but I step only the last step closer, raise my hand and slap her, the smile fainting away after I drop my hand onto my side. I can't see my mom's reaction, but I hear her sighing.
“You trashy bitch,” Cheryl says and punches me in the face, after what she grabs my collar and I grab her upper arms and- Jug's arms are around me and FP's around Cheryl as they pull us apart.
“Get your Serpent hands off my body,” Cheryl exclaims and FP lets go of her quickly. She motions for her minions to follow her and they all go out of the diner.
FP sighs, looking worried as he looks at my face. Jug turns me around in his arms softly and his eyes are on my cheek. His thumb moves over it and I wince a little, making him stop immediately. “Pop, can we get some ice?” he asks, his eyes looking in mine now. I imagine Pop nodded or something, but my eyes are plastered on his.
My cheek hurts so fucking bad, so I cup his face and pull his lips on mine, hoping that would help me forget. And it does the first ten seconds, but then he pulls away with a chuckle. “I’m like a rebound or something?”
“You help me feel better,” I say.
“So I'm a rebound,” he states.
I roll my eyes and wrap my arms around him. “Whatever,” I mumble, hiding my face into his shirt. He answers to that by hugging me back and holding me against him. His face in my hair. I'd kill someone to get to be held like this every time I feel the need or wish to. Right now it helps me feel wanted and not better because of Cheryl.
I feel his one hand disappearing for a second and him mumbling a quiet thank you and then he pulls away a little, which makes me sigh and look up at him. He smirks at my pouty face and mocks it while placing the ice on my cheek. I hold it there myself and hit his arm softly before going back to sit next to mom, who is looking really worried.
“Honey-“
“I’m fine,” I cut her off and shift a little away from her so that she wouldn't touch me. She gets the message and sighs deeply but leaves me alone.
Then I feel Jug's hand on mine again. I grasp it away and look up at him with a mad look. “What?” he asks confused. “You just hugged me to feel better and now I can't touch you?”
I gulp and look at mom. “Can I go home? Like… alone?”
She looks at me sadly and sighs. “Straight home.” I ignore that and just get up and start going. “Betty, I at least need to know where you're going,” she calls after me.
“Home,” I say and leave the diner.
I still keep holding the ice on my face, because I know it helps the bruise not to be blue tomorrow (hopefully). I feel eyes on me as I wipe my tears away with my hand while still in the parking lot, and then start walking towards the Southside. I have time to think, to cry with voice this time and to enjoy being outside.
When I cross the Sweetwater River, I see the woods I've dreamed to go to from the first day we came here. And now I finally have the chance. I walk into the woods, sun shining in the sky, through the branches. It's beautiful in here.
In about twenty minutes I find a beautiful sight as I climb up a tree a little and sit on the thick branch, my back against the stem. I can see the mountains, the grass, the woods everything. And it looks beautiful with the sun shining all over it. So I just sit there for a while and think, not having an idea of where I am or how can I get back home. And right now I don't care either.

“Honey, where were you? I was worried,” mom says, bringing me into her arms as I finally get home after about six hours of finding my way back out of the woods.
“In the forest,” I mumble into her shoulder tiredly. “I couldn't get back out, sorry.”
I feel her sighing and kissing my head softly before she lets go of me. “Okay. I don't want you getting lost anymore, if you go there, you need to know where you are,” she tells me.
“Yeah yeah, I know,” I say. “I’m tired, I'm gonna go to sleep now.” She nods and I give her a faint smile before looking at my dog who's circling around us. “Calm down,” I tell her and make my way upstairs, she following me.
I know it's only 9pm, but I'm ridiculously tired, so I just pull off all my clothes and then pull on my short pajamas after what I climb to bed and fall asleep immediately, Collie snuggled into my stomach, her head just under my chin what she licks usually when she wakes up in the middle of the night.

“Hey girl,” I hear Jughead's voice and feel Collie disappearing from my arms. I sigh and keep sleeping until I feel his lips on my forehead, pecking it. It makes my heart flutter, but to be just as stubborn as I am, I bring my hand up to my head and wipe it off. He kisses it again and I wipe it off again, my lips forming into a smile as he kisses it again after that. I open my eyes slowly and leave the kiss there, a smile on my face.
“Hey,” he smiles.
“Hi,” I chuckle as Collie snuggles herself into Jug's lap, he sitting next to me on the bed. Jug starts stroking my hair softly as I close my eyes again, but bring my head closer to him.
“Betty, we need to talk,” he says quietly.
My eyes go open and I look up at him sadly. “I'm tired, maybe next time.”
He chuckles at that. “It’s 11, your mom said you've been sleeping since 9 last night, which makes it the total of 14 hours. You should get up,” he says.
“I thought you were failing math,” I mumble, but push myself to sit up anyways. I rest my back and head against the black headboard and Collie moves so that she's on both of our laps now. We both chuckle and pet her softly.
“So you wanna tell me what is it with your dad?” he asks.
“No,” I say quietly, looking at Collie and petting her. She's the only one enjoying this right now.
“Then maybe you wanna tell me why you don't do boyfriends?” he asks softly, using my words.
“No,” I say again, quietly.
I feel him sigh and he keeps quiet for about a minute. “What’s your favorite color?”
I smile a little. “White.”
“White?” he asks and I hear the surprise in his voice. “Why don't you have anything white in this room?” he asks. I point at all the pillows on the window seat, still not looking up from my dog. “Do you have any white clothes?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Really? Like what?” he challenges.
“A sweater,” I smirk.
“Just one?” he asks and I hear he's holding back his laugh.
“Maybe,” I say, making him chuckle and kiss my head softly. I frown a little and keep petting my dog, still not looking up.
“Your face does that every time I kiss you,” he says.
“Does what?”
“It wrinkles up. Like gets really intense and your eyes get sad, I don't like that,” he says sadly.
“Well maybe I don't like it when you kiss me,” I say with a small smirk and look at him finally.
“Nah, I know you like it…” he tells me and looks in my eyes now. “You love it, but you don't let yourself have it,” he says. Even though the sentence is really confusing, I know what he means. This is exactly how I feel. I don't want him to ever stop kissing or hugging me or touching me, but I won't let myself get happy when he does these things because I know he'll just leave soon. “Your dad has really hurt you,” he says after a few minutes of silence and some thoughts.
I frown and look at him. “This has nothing to do with my dad,” I say. “I just… I can't date you,” I say really really quietly and look at my lap.
"Why not?" he asks quietly.
"I don't like labels," I lie.
He pulls away just a little to look at me. I sigh and look up into his eyes. "Really?" he asks, eyebrows raised up a little, sounding like he knows exactly what's going on really. "Or is this just something you say, because you're scared?"
"Scared of what?" I chuckle.
"Trusting anyone. Opening up to them. Giving them your heart. Call it what you want," he says softly.
I feel my throat growing smaller and tears gathering in my eyes. I press my lips together, not to let out any sobs and try to look tough.
"I've seen your face when they talk about your dad. So I've asked myself..." How does he know all of this? "Why didn't you go to visit him? What happened between you two? Or why he never calls you when I've heard him calling to your siblings."
I sigh quietly and lower my head, letting my tears drop. "Can you tell me?" he asks quietly. "Whatever is up with you and your dad has clearly made you like this."
"Like what?" I cry and look up at him.
"Closed up. Not able to trust anyone." Oh. Usually people say that there has to be something what has made me wear these clothes or act like this.
"You really wanna know?"
"I do, yeah," he says sadly.
I gulp and answer in a few seconds. "He hates me."
He sighs. "He's your dad. He doesn't hate you."
"Really?" I ask, my voice breaking. "Elizabeth, why can't you be more like your sisters?" I say and he raises his eyebrows, face... Really sad. "Elizabeth, sit up straight." "Elizabeth, do sports, you need to lose weight." "Elizabeth, study more." "Elizabeth, get better grades." "Clean your room." "Eat less." "Take care of your siblings." "Don't touch that." "Wear normal clothes." "Don't read that much." "Don't come out of that room." "Why aren't you going out, you shouldn't stay in that room all the time."
His eyes are slightly widened as he looks at me, trying not to cry.
I breathe out the shaky breath I've been holding in all my life. I've never told anyone anything about my life. Not one person. And I'm here, next to this boy and telling him. Why? I don't care, I hide my face into his chest and he kisses the top of my head, starting to fondle my hair softly. That feels good. He doesn't say anything either. He lets me cry and keeps stroking my hair, holding me against his bare body.
A few minutes after I stop crying, he speaks up. "Why does he do that?"
"I've been asking the same thing for my whole life. I have no fucking idea." I move my head so that he could see my face but I won't have to look in his eyes. "This has been going on for my whole life. Mom got a divorce after he hurt me."
"Hurt you?" he asks, his voice sounding in pain.
"Yeah," I say quietly. "A guy tried to rape me on a street... And he had a knife, so when I got home I was bloody and... He punched me in the face for that. I never wanna see him again...” I explain. He looks totally in shock, but I think FP told him that I unarmed a guy with knife once, so he doesn't seem too worried, knowing that I didn't die or go to the hospital because of it. “My siblings are going to his place every other weekend now and it's not like I'd want to go, but... I feel left out. And it hurts. Bad," I breathe the last word out, trying not to start panting as usually when I try to hold my tears back. "I hate him. But I want a dad. Someone who doesn't prefer anyone over me," I say sadly.
"So you're not letting people in, because you're afraid they'll get closer with someone else and you'll be alone again. With a broken heart," he says quietly.
That sums it up pretty great.
"When I was little," I say quietly, not realizing that I'm telling him another story about me. "I wished I had a different dad from all of them."
"You're a triplet," he chuckles.
I smile a little and nod. "I hoped he'll come around one day and live with us."
"Like all of you?" he asks.
I grin and nod. "I didn't want my siblings to be unhappy either, so I just wished for two dads in the house."
He chuckles and smiles at me for a while as I wipe my tears away, face still red, but smile on it now. I look back at him and see that he's still staring at me with the same face. "You're cute," he says.
I start smiling like an idiot after he pecks my nose. He chuckles quietly.
"Just for the note," he says with a little smile. "I could never like anyone more than I like you. You have everything. You're a badass, you're so beautiful, you're smart, you like reading and writing, you have the best google comebacks, making you sassy, and you moan when I kiss you." I giggle quietly. "And that," he sighs sadly and kisses my cheek softly.
"For your information, I don't want to moan when you kiss me. Your lips feel good to me and there's nothing I can do about it."
He smiles softly. "Look... You don't have to tell me anything. And you don't have to date me, if you don't want to. But when you're ready, you need to know that I wanna be with you. Legitimately."
I cup his face carefully and lean up to kiss him. I feel Collie going away and then downstairs for some reason, so he moves to sit against me and hold me in his arms. It's the best feeling ever. Being in his arms while kissing him.
“Guys, I'm going to work! I'll be back later!” I hear my mom yelling, which makes us pull away and Jug start chuckling as I clear my throat awkwardly.
“Okay!” I shout back and hear the door close. I start smirking as I'm staring at the little opened door and then turn my eyes on Jug. We both stare into each others eyes for a few seconds, before the tension gets too big and I just grab his head rapidly and pull his lips on mine as he pulls me onto his lap, my legs around his torso.