Love And Leather

Chapter 20

“Betty you in here?” I hear FP's voice.
“Yeah,” I say with a loud voice and move to the room where he's at. We're in the workshop, fixing cars and bikes.
He hands me his phone. “It’s Kelly.*
I frown and take it. “Hey, Kells. Everything alright?”
I hear Millie crying on the background. “Betty, I don't know what to do. She woke up suddenly and started crying and asking for mommy. And I told her that mom won't come back, she just started crying harder and screaming at me that she wants mommy.” I hear that she's almost crying as well. “Kevin's trying to calm her down, but-“
“I’m on my way, okay? Just tell her to breathe and try to cakm her down.”
“Okay,” she sniffles.
I end the call and look at FP. “Can you give me a ride home? Like right now?”
“Yeah, sure. What's wrong?” he asks as we already go to the car. I explain the situation to him and when he asks if it's happened before, I simply say a no and zoom out with only my thoughts.
When we get to my house, we both get out and I rush to the door. The moment I step through the front door, I hear Millie crying and screaming. I quickly go into the living room and both of my triplets look at me immediately. They're both crying too.
I squat down and Millie sees me too now and comes to me immediately. She hugs me and I hug her back and pick her up. “Mama,” she cries. I frown as I realize she starts calming down. What's going on? “Mommy,” she repeats quietly, hiding her face into my shirt and only sniffling now.
And that's when I realize it. My eyes go wide, my heart starts pounding and I start breathing faster, totally freaking out. I look down at the kid on my lap, who's suddenly calm. This can't be happening. She cried because she wanted me. And referred me as mommy. They told her mommy won't come back, because she's dead. Gosh.
My eyes go onto my siblings. They look shocked, but not as shocked as I am. I keep fondling Millie's hair and holding her as she keeps being calm. Kevin's jaw has dropped a little, just like mine, but Kelly starts smiling a little.
“Baby, I need to go upstairs, okay? You're gonna be okay in here with them, yeah?” I ask Millie quietly in a few minuted. She nods in my shirt and I kiss the top of her head and place her back down.
I go upstairs as fast as possible and fall down on my bed, my hands covering my face and tears spreading out. Collie comes next to me and licks my cheek, but I just move my arms around her and start crying as she stays calm too.
I wouldn't be that shaken up, but… I'm not her mom. I'm her sister. She has a mom already and I don't want for her to forget her. But she already has. Four months later. I'll never be the mom my mom was. It's impossible. And how is she going to call our siblings then? Her aunts and uncle or her sisters and brother? And she needs a dad too, but he's dead as well. What am I gonna do?

“I promise you, it's gonna be okay,” Jug chuckles, rubbing my back as I'm sitting on his lap, on his one leg. “Baby, calm down. You should be happy,” he says.
“I’m not her mom,” I say quietly and sniffle.
“But you are,” he says with a quiet voice just to make me be more quiet and stop crying. “If you're not then who is?”
I meet his eyes and he raises his eyebrows with a little smile, knowing I don't have an answer for that. “She’ll always know that you're actually her sister and that you share a mom. And you can show her pictures and stuff... But she's so little right now, she won't ever remember her mom the way she'll remember you.”
“You're so stupid,” I murmur.
“Why? It's true,” he chuckles.
“You can talk, but you're never like this with anyone else.”
“Yeah well, I only act like that around the people I love,” he says, making me smile as he starts grinning. “There's the smile,” he sighs and kisses my lips softly. “Just let her call you whatever she wants to and go back down there, the kid almost had a heart attack when they told her her mom's dead,” he chuckles and I do the same.
“What if she'll call me that again,” I say quietly.
“She 100% will. You just have to accept it… Why are you disappointed anyways? You know it’ll come.”
“Not after 4 months,” I say honestly but give him a small smile.
“It's gonna be fine. Now come on,” he says and stands up, making me stand too.
I sigh and we go back downstairs. FP's still here and Jellybean came with Jug and all of their eyes go on me as we go in the room. I give them a look and they look away with little smiles. I go and squat down next to Millie. “Baby, do you wanna eat something?” I ask, knowing that she ate lunch an hour ago, but she always eats so little because she gets bored, so I have to give her food often.
“Yeah,” she says, looking at me with a smile now.
“What do you wanna eat?”
She shrugs and I kiss her forehead before getting up and going into the kitchen. I take the last smoothie what is called baby food out of the fridge and open it as I go into the living room. I taste it and start grinning immediately, loving it.
“She's almost three, why are you feeding her baby food?” Jelly asks me.
“I eat that,” I say, making them chuckle. I hand it to Millie who's now on Jug's lap on the ground. She tastes it and her face wrinkles up in disgust. We all start laughing and Jug takes it out of her hands and tastes it himself.
“Not that bad,” he says and I grasp it out of his hand.
“If she's not gonna eat it, it's mine, Jones,” I say, pointing a finger at him. He smirks and raises his hands up in defeat. I place this stuff on the table and go back into the kitchen and take a bag of cheese chips and go back to the room everybody's at.
“You really shouldn't feed them to her,” FP says.
“It’s the only thing I know she'll for sure eat,” I protect myself and pop down on the ground between Jug and Jelly who leans herself against me. “You like those?” I ask Millie, opening the pack. She takes one and eats it.
When she starts to take another one, she speaks up quietly. “Thank you, mama.”
I frown and look at Jug. He's smiling softly and raises his eyebrows at me lightly. I sigh. “You’re welcome,” I say and kiss her cheek before leaning against Jughead like JB is leaning against me.
“You look like you feel horrible,” Jug tells me quietly, holding Millie on his lap. I give him a look and try to get used to the idea that I actually have a little kid who calls me her ‘mama'. Meaning, I have a daughter. That's… wow.

“Hey you,” Jug whispers, coming behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I'm stuffing my locker full of my books.
“Hi,” I smile, but it turns into a frown as I feel him tying his flannel around my hips. He kisses my cheek after he's done and leans against the lockers next to me bow with a soft smile.
“What?” I ask in confusion, not knowing how to end the question so it would be a normal and real one.
“You're leaking,” he says quietly, making my cheeks flush red immediately and look down, embarrassed that he or anyone else had to see it. He chuckles and softly raises my head up, forcing me to look into his eyes. “It’s okay baby, I got it covered now,” he chuckles.
“Sorry,” I say with an unsatisfied frown as I stare into his beautiful greenish blue eyes.
He's the one who frowns now. “Babe, don't ever apologize for your body,” he says, hands on my waist. “I love it and there's nothing to even be sorry for,” he says and gives me a kiss on my forehead, pulling me into a hug which I answer to, hugging him back.
“I don't have products,” I whisper to him, because I don't really care if it's a pad or a tampon (as long as it's not a menstruation cup, I hate those things). “Toni and Veronica are both skipping school and Kelly is sick, so I really don't have anything to ask it for.”
“I have a free period, you want me to get some for you?” he asks.
“Really?” I ask.
“Yes,” he chuckles. “Just tell me what you want.”
I blush again and lower my head as always when I'm sad or embarrassed. “I don't really care, if they're pads, take with wings,” I say.
“You never use pads,” he says quietly because we're still in a crowded hallway. I smile a little and look up at him to meet his small smile.
“Fine, take medium sized tampons, okay?” I sigh.
He nods and gives me a soft kiss before kissing my nose and then walking away. I smile, feeling happy to have him. He's mine.