o n e : four walls

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you
taehyung-oppa, where are you?

tea
who is this again?

you
This is Sana. We are supposed to talk about our house.

tea
do i really have to go? i am quite busy

you
It's part of our contract with our agencies that we shall not have schedule at the 26th of the month unless it is a concert or schedules that can not be cancelled.

tea
this is an important schedule

you
That is not what your manager told me.

tea
this is annoying. where are you?

you
ruby's office.

"Still on with your hot marriage, huh?" Ruby asked as I placed my phone down on her office table. "Are you sure about moving out of his parents' house?"

Ruby is the CEO of a private architectural firm. I met her when I was still in Japan and she is friends with Taehyung as well, as they are born on the same year. She knows about our marriage and even sends us a gift in our anniversary. She believes in the gift marriage, and that's the reason why she is so supportive of me and Taehyung.

"It's what he wants. He said that if we move out of their house, we can have privacy and we don't have to pretend that we care for each other." I sighed and she placed a cup of hot chocolate in front of me.

"We? Really? You're pretending you care?" She took a sip from her tea, and looked at me teasingly. I rolled my eyes in defeat and she laughed. "You two are adorable."

"You speak like an old lady," I teased and she just shrugged. "Do you think he will actually care for me? We've been married for 4 years already and he doesn't give a damn about me."

"You're dating ban is going to be lifted this year, maybe something's going to change. What if he's just worried about speculations about you?" Ruby concluded, but I shook my head in disagreement. He would never.

A few more hours of talking about boys, girls, houses, and jobs, Taehyung finally arrived. I didn't think his house would be 2 hours away. I mean, this place is three buildings away from his dorm.

"Good afternoon," Ruby greeted and he just smiled sarcastically at her. She raised an eyebrow, her eyes sharpening. Ruby can be strict sometimes. "You're late."

"I'm sorry. I just had something to do," he reasoned. "So what are we talking about?"

"About the two of you moving out of your parents' house," Ruby said and handed as a tablet each. "I will flash possible house plans in the screens according to your desires. Shall we start?"

"So in our company, we have four main focuses. Space, comfort, eco-friendliness, and of course design. Starting with space, how big do you want the house to be?"

"Big."

"Small."

The two of us answered at the same time. Of course I wanted a small house, only the two of us will live in there. What will he do with a big house?

"Okay... Let's go back to that later! How many rooms do you want?"

"Four."

"One."

"Can't the two of you agree on something?" Ruby sighed, putting her tablet down. "I make homes, not houses. Come back another day if you're not ready yet. I'll leave you here to talk."

Ruby left the room and I just fidgeted with my fingers. Taehyung was just playing with his phone, not bothering to look at me. I cleared my throat and faced him.

"So shall we talk about the house?" I broke the ice, but he did not respond. "You know, we can have an average sized house with 2-3 rooms if you want."

"You know what I really want?" He turned to look at me so I kept quiet. "I want to live at a separate house."

"I—"

"I'm really busy and you pushed this meeting. Do you know how much work I have left? But because of your childishness, I am here. I should be working right now, instead, I'm doing this useless thing," his voice started to raise so I looked down.  "I'm leaving. You handle this stupid house since you wanted this."

Taehyung stood up and left me there, not letting me speak another word. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and my breath was becoming short. I took my phone out and called my manager to tell the girls I won't be going home.

My phone started ringing so I wiped my cheeks and calmed myself down before answering. "Hello?" I cheerfully answered. "Jihyo-ya!"

"Why are you not going home? Is it because of that guy again?" Jihyo asked and by her voice, I know she's mad. Jihyo knows about the marriage, but does not know who I'm married with. I had no choice but to tell her since she was questioning why I didn't have schedules every 26th. She was against it at first, then slowly, she accepted it since it did not affect the group. She actually comforts me about it and reminds me almost everyday that I'm okay without him.

"We're talking about the house, and might as well sleep at his parents'," I replied and it's obviously a lie, but I know she gets what I mean.

"Okay... Make sure you are safe. If anything happens, call me immediately!"

I hummed and ended the call, crying again. This is so frustrating. Marriage is so frustrating.

Now let me tell you how I ended up in this situation.

It all started when I was recruited by JYP. I really wondered why my parents allowed me to go at a very young age. Then, I talked to my grandmother about it and she told me it was a great idea. I thought they were just happy for me since I was achieving my dream, but I was wrong.

As I arrived in Korea, I met him, Taehyung. He was waiting for me with his parents at the arrival area of the airport. I was 15 at that time and he was 16. I must admit though, he was handsome. My 15-year-old-inexperienced heart fell in love with him immediately. I just arrived at Korea and I was already in love. This scenario just reminds me how soft I am for handsome looks.

Taehyung was cold towards me from the start. He was the sweetest boy I met as well. He was very dedicated to debuting, but was still obedient to his parents. I thought our parents were just close that is why I was living at his house, until my grandma called me and asked how my husband was.

Fast forward to our actual wedding, no ceremony happened since Taehyung was busy with his schedules. So yeah, pretty much just the paper. That's it. We're married. No sweet moments. No drama. Nothing. 2 more years and we can get divorced. That is what he's waiting for.

I'm crying. Why am I crying again? Right. It's not what I am waiting for.

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