You Tell Me

Tell me what you think.

"Lena," Kara whispers in a soft apologetic voice. Lena hears her trembling voice and looks up at her. "I didn't mean to ignore you, Lena, I already apologised for that. I didn't really feel like talking. I just wanted my space. I admit we were getting close but at that time we still hardly knew each other. I knew that if I started to talk I would start to cry and I didn't want you to see me like that. I don't like being weak and I hate people seeing me weak even more." She explains with sorrow and realisation growing on her face as every word spews out of her mouth.

"And that's okay. I understand. Honestly, I do But my mind has a tendency to jump to conclusions when someone acts differently. It killed me to think that you had to be fake around me, that you couldn't be yourself and that after talking to your sister you finally saw sense and looked at me like you would my brother or adoptive mother." Lena explains further. Kara looks up at her with shock.

"Lena, I would never, ever ever ever ever look at you like that. I could never. You are you, not your brother or your mother." Kara tells her with confidence. " You don't have to go on if you don't want to, okay?" Kara tells her in a calm, soothing voice.

"I want to, I need to tell you this, you deserve the full story." Kara nods her head and holds my other hand as well. "After that day you went back to being yourself and I thought I had caused you to be in that mood. So I stayed away and I had beaten myself up over it. Don't blame yourself, I promise it's not your fault. About a week later you asked me why I had been acting so weird I told you and you apologised and then everything went back to 'normal'. Except, I carried on holding the blade, I carried on imagining the blood seep out of my skin, for a full 40 days." Kara gasps at the unwarned description, her hand slips away from Lena's to cover her mouth in shock.

"It's been 22 days Kara. 22 days since that box moved. I almost touched it again today but I stopped myself like I did last night. And that's because you've been spending more time with me lately. We have gone out every Friday night for the past five weeks, whether it's with your friends or just us two. And we get take-out every Saturday evening and have been for six weeks. We watch Pretty Little Liars every evening when we get home from work. It's becoming easier and easier to not touch that box. Do I think about it? Yes, I do. But I don't open the cupboard door." Lena takes a breath, thinking of how to go on. "I want you to see me, all of me...the real me." Lena gets up and stands in front of Kara. She turns and moves her hair out of the way so that kara got the message to pull down the zip. Carefully Kara undoes the zip and stands there waiting to see what Lena means.

Lena lets her dress slip easily off her body and turns to look at Kara. Kara darts her eyes all over Lena's body. At first, all Kara can think of is how soft Lena's skin looks. She admires Lena's abs and the way her bra hold up her chest. And then it is like a reality filter was put on her eyes and she realises the countless carefully placed scars on Lena's legs and stomach and arm. She reads them over and over again thinking about how someone as perfect as Lena could see herself in such a bad light. 'Worthless, ugly, you're not good enough, selfish' Kara reads in her head.

"Can I touch them?" Kara whispers, barely finding her voice again. She gulps and waits for an answer and Lena just stares at her before nodding hesitantly, scared as Kara's next actions are unknown. Kara simply lifts a finger and with that finger, she traces over the word 'Worthless' on Lena's stomach. She draws a line from the top of the letter 'W' until the bottom of the last 'S' and then another one from the top of the same 'S' to the bottom of the 'W', sending shivers down Lena's spine and making her tense her abs multiple times.

Lena realises that Kara crossed out the word 'Worthless' and she feels the tears falling down her face and she also could see tears threatening to fall from Kara's eyes. Kara then proceeds to make Lena sit on the bed carefully and slowly. She crosses out 'Selfish' on Lena's left thigh. Then she got to Lena's kryptonite, the one that hurt her the most: 'You're not good enough'. This one is placed going down Lena's right thigh. Kara looks into Lena's eyes and crosses out the phrase. Lena doesn't hold back her tears and freely lets them fall to the bedsheets. Kara takes hold of Lena's hands and looks at her again, trying to make eye contact.