Vampire Knight Lustful Dreams. Mature (#Wattys 2019)

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

I toss and turn in his arms, not able to close my eyes and fall asleep. This was my nightmare, her returning to get him back. Kaname was dead and she finally realized she wanted Zero. It kept going over and over in mind playing like a video stuck on rewind. She was going to take away everything I loved most in this world. I felt lost.

I know in all truth, he was hers. He was meant to be hers and only hers. That didn't make me feel any better. I never meant to really take him away from her, I never even thought it was possible. This was just a dream to start, now here we are. I have so many questions, I can't even bring myself to ask him. I know the answers may hurt me deeply. It also seemed at the moment, he didn't want to tell me the truth. He wasn't very good at lying. Zero was an honest man, a good man. I saw him laying there thinking. He just won't tell me what about. What really took place today? How much of him did I lose?

Was he leaving me? I guess time will tell. The morning comes fast, I just get up and go to the bathroom splashing water on my bloodshot eyes. They are puffy and red from crying most of yesterday and all of last night. I felt sick to my stomach. I Could barely look at Zero as much as I loved him at the moment I hated him. HOw could he? Did he? As I am going through all this in the bathroom, Zero gets ZJ ready for school. Trying to keep within our regular routine so that ZJ doesn't notice anything.

I head downstairs where Zero offers me some toast, trying to be nice. I take it even though my stomach sees it as an enemy. The morning is quiet as I have nothing to say. What is the point? Whatever he is going to do, he is going to do. I can't change his mind. If she is truly what he wants, then so be it. I accepted my defeat a long time ago. It just pains me greatly to let go.

We pile in the car to go to work and drop our son off to school. Zero doing it all as I am barely there. He sees it just doesn't say anything in front of our son. Once we drop ZJ off, Zero comes back to the car. Just staring at me.

"Babe, are you ok? You're so quiet. I never have seen you like this in the whole time I know you. Talk to me." Zero says.

"I want her to go home, to leave. I never want to see her again."I state.

"I know you do. I will ask her today when she is leaving." Zero replies.

"You're seeing her again? Going off to her hotel again?"I shout.

"Please, I know this hurts you. I'm sorry, she said she would stop by today." Zero answers.

I just open the car door and walk out going to my office not even waiting for him. I am so pissed off, I can barely take it. I am at the same time scared that if I let go, it might just work in her favor. 

I see as Ichiru goes into Zero's office, probably wanting to find out the truth. I just hope he does a better job at it. Because I got nowhere.

"Ok, you said you would tell me what the fuck was going on last night. You gave me a shirt with lipstick at the collar and her scent all over it. What happened?" Ichiru asks.

"Damn it. Throw the shirt away. I don't need her finding it. I did something stupid, yet something I needed to do. I needed to see, what I really wanted. All these years I wondered, was I doing the right thing being here. Who did I really want? Was I staying because of you and my son or because I wanted to? " Zero replies.

"You were fine till she showed back up. What did you do?" Ichiru asks.

"Yuki came here to see me. She missed me, she said she always wondered if I was ok. We were talking and she kissed me. I went back to her hotel room and we made love. We got lost in it but it wasn't what either of us thought it would be. The spark, want and desire that we both had at Cross wasn't here. There I always wanted her blood, well here as you know I'm not a vampire. So I don't crave that or anything for that matter. I regretted it right after, so did she. We talked about other things and we are happy just to be friends." Zero admits.

"Why did you at least tell your wife about the last part. She is worried sick your going to leave her, and is this only because you don't want to leave us?" Ichiru asks.

"No, I know that you all will stay here and move on. I went to the same elder you did. I know it all. Also, I don't know how to tell her. I don't want her to know, I slept with Yuki. She is falling apart barely talking to me over a kiss. If she knew the rest it would kill her. I don't want that. I want our marriage to go on. We have a good one and I did something stupid. Yuki is coming here this morning to say goodbye. Maybe if she sees her leave she will feel better about things. We can move on. A kiss isn't as bad as the other." Zero remarks.

"Thats just fucked up. You had to sleep with her to see if you wanted her or not? What if it was hot? Then what? You leave us for her?" Ichiru snaps.

"It wasn't about sex it was about having feelings for her. I wanted to see if they were as strong as they were back there. All I ever wanted was to be with her in that way. Yet here it was just sex. It's not like making love with my wife." Zero Answers.

"I don't see why your wife loves you so much, You can be a real dick head when you want to be. Yet she thinks the sun rises and shines in you. It's been all these years and she still cares so deeply. Do you know how badly you have hurt her? You always hated Kaname. Always said he was in the middle. The problem. Well, Yuki is her Kaname. You let her be. It's been all these years and you finally know what you want? You lied to her all this time and to yourself. I hope she does find out what you did. Just so she could know what a real ass you are. The Zero who could do no wrong tumbles on his ass." Ichiru remarks.

"Why don't you just say it. You want my life, you been jealous of me here just like you were at Cross just for different reasons. Some things never change, do they? I can't help that she loves me that much. I never asked her to. I never asked her to come there and take me here. I was glad that I come here. It's been hard, I did leave people behind I cared about." Zero responds.

"All you left was fake shit. A girl who never knew what the fuck she really wanted. We have nothing there but pain and sorrow. I think you just like to be the one with the sad ass past so everyone feels sorry for you." Ichiru states.

"Fuck you. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here. She only wished it so I would be happy." Zero snaps.

"Yea there is the brother I know. Making himself the almighty one. The great hunter, Here the great lover. You fucked all this up on your own. So if she dumps you for cheating then what? You run back to the twit?" Ichiru hisses.

"She won't leave me. I doubt that. She will hate me for a bit, be mad at me, but I doubt leave. She cares too much." Zero answers.

"Wow, aren't you sure of yourself. So that makes it right? She loves you so much you can walk all over her? Is this revenge for her tricking you at the start? So now you really did fuck Yuki." Ichiru responds.

"Get out of my office! I don't need this shit from you. You wanted the truth and I told you. Which I shouldn't of. Who are you to judge me? GET OUT. " Zero says

Throwing Ichiru out of his office. Ichiru just goes to his own office in a huff and puff.