Vampire Knight Lustful Dreams. Mature (#Wattys 2019)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

We stay in my office, I am still not sure of anything. I am still lost in all that is taking place. Was he really going to stay with me? He was going to give her up for me? I sat there in shock and disbelief. I guess when she would show up, I would see for myself.

It doesn't take long to find this out as Yuki comes strolling into my office since Zero stayed here not going to his. Wanting to have the last conversation in front of me. So, I saw everything that was going on for myself. He was trying to redeem himself.

"Hi. "Yuki says. Going over and kissing Zero's cheek.

I see the awkwardness in them both. Which makes me just suspect even more what took place the day before.

"I want to say, I will be going home tonight. It was great seeing you again Zero. I am glad your happy here. It's all I ever wanted." Yuki states.

"Same, Thank you for checking up on me. I hope everything goes well back home. It was great seeing you again." Zero replies.

"I want to say, I am sorry for everything. I didn't mean to hurt you." Yuki says turning to me.

I just look at Zero. Who looks like he rather be anywhere but here.

"There isn't anything to be sorry about. Your just friends Right?" I answer.

Yuki just looks at me then at Zero. Not sure what to say. She knew Zero didn't tell me what was really going on. She didn't want to say anything out of turn to make things worse.

"Yes, we are just friends. You have a safe way back. Tell Yagari I say hi. The old man too." Zero responds. Trying to get off the subject and rid of her.

They give each other a slight hug, as Yuki walks out the door, heading back to her hotel room.

"What was she sorry about Zero?" I ask.

"Thats just Yuki, she is always sorry. Can we go home and forget about all this? It's over now. You know she is going home, Its just us. The way its suppose to be. The way I want it to be." Zero comments.

"I wish you would be honest with me. I know your hiding something. Would it hurt me yes very much but I am not happy with lying either." I respond.

"I just want to go home. Have a nice dinner with you and my son. Can we do that?" Zero asks.

"Fine. I will grab my bag." I answer

We go home having a nice night just the thoughts of Zero with her still run through my mind. Should I just act as if it never happened? Let it go? He picked me and stayed here. I wanted our marriage to work. I wanted to be with him and only him. If I keep egging on about him sleeping with her, it's just going to tear our marriage apart. I knew that was why he wouldn't admit to it. He knew me knowing it actually took place would kill me inside. It would change everything forever. Where if I had doubts it would make it fade in time, or at least he hoped.

For the next few days, I see Zero trying to make me as happy as he could. Giving me all kinds of attention. He was always the man I always wanted, just for the first time, I wasnt worried about him leaving. I still hurt, just I feel it is better to let it go. I knew I didn't have to worry about any other woman. Zero wasnt like that, he was normally loyal. He just went with what was written in the manga. He wanted to test his need for her. I was just figuring his need wasnt like he thought it would be, which let me win. Was I happy about it? Yes and no. What if the feelings stayed the same. I would have lost him, then really was he mine? Or was I just borrowing him?

I knew Ichiru knew more then he was letting on, In the matter of Yuki and even about them able to stay here. He was hiding something. The next few weeks, Ichiru did his best to stay away from me the best he could. Which I hated. We would have our morning bullshit sessions, him picking on me. It was gone. I have to say I missed it. He was a good friend, now all of a sudden staying away. Not even talking to Zero. I would see him go away from him when he saw him. Not even wanting to say hi. I knew something went down, I just didn't know what.

After three weeks of him avoiding me like the plague, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to go talk to him and let him listen to me. I needed to know what was going on. Why was he doing this? I didn't do anything to him to make him stay away. So why was he?

I got over to his office door, knock and go in, not giving him any time to lock the door or run away. 

Ichiru, what is going on? Why are you avoiding me?" I ask.

"I have a lot of work to do, I don't have time to bullshit," Ichiru says.

"Will you stop lying to me. What the hell is wrong with you two. Now both of you are lying to me. I thought you of all people would never do that to me."I shout.

"At least you see he is lying,  yet he gets away with it. He gets away with it all. Fucking up everyone's life. But its Zero doing it, so it's all ok." Ichiru snaps.

"I don't know what happened with you two that day.  I know you try to defend me, I thank you, I just don't want that to hurt our friendship or the one you have with your brother." I answer.

"My brother finally woke up I see. He didn't leave with her. I have to admit I thought after that day he would. He makes a big mistake but its ok, life goes on. Or at least for him." Ichiru states.

"I know he slept with her Ichiru. He may not admit it, but it was written all over him and her. I think he doesn't want to hurt me by letting me know the truth." I say."  I don't know what he thinks, to be honest. "I add.

"You're just happy he stayed. You're not thinking about his betrayal, or what the betrayal leads to." Ichiru answers.

"I know it was a betrayal, I also know I don't have to worry about him sleeping with anyone else. It was only her I had to fear. With her out of his system sort of speaking, he can move on. We all can." I reply.

"Do you know why they would have to sleep together? Why she would have to come all this way?" Ichiru answers calmly.

"She came to make sure he was ok," I comment.

"Yes, but there was more. Something that takes place in the manga, that he wouldn't be there to make happen. So the universe made her come here...to make sure it was done." Ichiru remarks.

I sit there and think, letting the manga go over and over in mind. What can he be talking about? Until I realize, getting a pain in my chest. Tears just stroll down my face, now knowing what he means.

"You see the universe is set. There were things that had to happen in this life but also in ours, even though it was just a manga to you. It's not for us. Ren was meant to be their child. She was meant to be there. Now she will be." Ichiru answers coldly.

I don't answer as I don't know how to. I just feel pain. I knew the child was born in the manga, I was fine with that. Just now it was a bit different. He was married to me when she was conceived.  I was the mother of his child. I thought I had something she wouldn't ever have. I guess she got me again. In the end, I couldn't stop anything. It was still going just working its way around us. 

"Does Zero know about this?" I ask.

"Not sure if he put two and two together. I haven't talked to him since that day.  Maybe it's better you don't say anything. Then he will feel even more guilt, leaving his other child behind.  It was also a test which he failed. In the future, that may cost him." Ichiru states.

"What do you mean test?" I ask.

"To see if he got over his old life to move on with this one," Ichiru says.

"You know more than your saying. Why won't you just tell me." I snap

"Whatever happens in the future is Zero's own doing. To be here there are rules you must follow to keep the connection. The more he thinks or does things with her the connection breaks. Once it's fully broken, he goes back to where he came from." Ichiru confesses.

"Oh god, it was just one. We can keep the connection. Make this right."I say.

"It's not up to you. It's up to him. If he finds out about the child, we may lose all this for good. "Ichiru admits.