Gorgeous

Challenge # 18

Red

Cindy's

"Is everything going to be okay?"

I overheard Ate Sam talking to Mommy that night after the round table. Nag-aalala siya at naiintindihan ko siya. Hindi niya kasi alam kung anong tunay na nangyayari. Ang buong akala ko kanina ay tapos na ang usapan nang barilin ni Uncle Ido si Brandon, pero hindi, nagpatuloy sila hanggang sa napag-usapan ang tunay na am ani Ate Sam. The man died – my father killed him – but he's still haunting everyone's lives, and I don't like it. I like everything in our lives the way they are. Isa pa, sabi nga ni Daddy, walang ibang Daddy si Ate Sam kundi siya.

I really hate Bruno for bringing this mess to my family. Ang tahimik ng pamilya ko. He's a leech and I really want to hurt him.

Lumabas ako ng silid. Ayokong marinig ang kung anumang pinag-uusapan ni Mommy at ni Ate. Nasasaktan ako kasi alam kong masasaktan rin silang dalawa. I took my coat and went out of the house. I sat on the front porch and gave out a sigh.

"This isn't what I wanted to experience in my first Euro trip." I sighed again. Tahimik lang akong nakatingin sa kawalan. I found myself crying – not because I was hurt by that asshole Bruno – but because I feel like my family is being terrorized by those people. I don't even know who they are but I already I hate.

"Hey..." I looked up and saw Daddy. Kalalabas niya lang ng pinto ng bahay na iyon. Nakapamulsa siya. He sat beside me. "Why are you crying, Cub?"

"Birthday ko na kasi, Dad..." I said. It's twelve o'clock. "Pero parang hindi naman magiging maganda ang kalalabasan ng birthday ko." I sobbed. "Daddy, I'm so sorry."

"What for?"

"For Bruno. I didn't use my head. I have forgotten all the things you taught me. I'm so sorry Daddy. Kung hindi naman dahil sa akin, wala tayo dito ngayon."

Dad wiped my tears. Yumakap naman ako sa kanya. Hindi talaga maganda ang pakiramdam ko sa mga nangyayari. Sinisisi ko si Bruno pero sinisisi ko rin ang sarili ko. Kung sana naging mas naging matalino ako, sana wala po tayo rito ngayon. Sorry, Daddy, dahil sa akin naaapi ang buong pamilya natin." Bahagya akong lumayo sa kanya. He was smiling but also I can see tears in his eyes. He cupped my face and wiped my tears away.

"Ahh, you're twenty now, cub, but in my head you're still that five-year-old little girl who loves hanging around me everyday."

"I still love hanging around yoy, Daddy."

"I know, also, it's not your fault. Kung hindi man ikaw, gagawa at gagawa ng paraan ang magkapatid na iyon para makalapit sa pamilya natin. They are that desperate. Hindi mo kasalanan iyon, Cinderella." He smiled at me.

"Are you scared, Daddy? Cause, I am. Ayokong mawala si Ate Samsam."

"I used to not be scared, Cindy. Wala akong ganoong pakiramdam but having all of you changed my perspective. Ayoko ng ganitong sitwasyon, pero para kay Ido, haharapin naming magkakasama ito. I promised your mom that I will be going home, no matter what happens, I'll be going home. Magse-celebrate tayo ng birthday mo, ha? I'll be your last dance." Iyak ako nang iyak. I wanted to hold on to Daddy more than anything. Ayoko siyang umalis but he's right. Hindi naman matatapos ito kung hindi nila susulusyunan but I feel like I wanted to help, it's just that, knowing that, he will never let me.

Buong gabi ko silang pinapanood na maghanda. The boys will come with them – of course they would. Si Uncle Ido ay hindi mapakali, halata naman. Kuya Narcing and Kuya Dondon, they are surprisingly quiet too. Parang pinakikiramdaman nila si Uncle. Kuya Red was helping Uncle Azul prepare his guns and ammos. They looked calm. Si Uncle AJ naman ay pinagsasabihan si Ate Reese, si Uncle KD ay kausap ang tatlong anak niyang lalaki.