IQ148 // namjoon ✔️

__FEBRUARY__

February ; 2015

Some moments become more vivid with the passage of time. The struggles of the past month, the encounters from the past year, the many worries of yesterday… they all existed for this moment.

This kind of moment… the kind NamJoon has been waiting for. 

The kind that keeps him up the night before, riddled with anxiousness as he plans out what he'll say knowing well that when the time comes, he will be at a loss for words. 

There's no amount of preparation that can prepare a person for this kind of moment.

Every alley and crossroad he walked through were all meant to lead him to this place: sitting across from JungMi in the courtyard of the Daeo bookstore. 

In a strange sense, NamJoon has found himself back at the start. 

But where he is now is not the same as where he started.

It's similar, but different.

The moment is so frail it could blow over with a single breath of wind. The mirage of security presents itself in the form of wind blowing her hair out of her eyes. 

The calm before the storm.

That seat across from him was empty around this time last year. 

He finds himself at a fork in the road where one path leads him back to the start: an empty seat with no one to keep him company.

Once he goes down this path, there's no going back.

“Remember what we talked about last year in November?” NamJoon asks. 

JungMi nods her head, eager to hear what he has to say.

"I've been thinking over Aristophanes’ theory from Kafka on the Shore." he finally comes to admit.

Nothing can go back to the way it used to be… 

"Really?" JungMi inquires, her interest peaked at the mention of a topic she thought they had finished discussing, "Did you realize something else?"

"As a matter of fact, I did." he confirms. 

"Please tell me."

"Well… One of the questions I had about the theory was: what happens when a person meets their soulmate? How does one know they have reunited with their other half?" NamJoon starts.

JungMi nods as she follows along to his words. She recalls, "I remember you said that the two would feel whole again. They'll be lost in amazement of intimacy and love and one will not be seen without the other." 

"That's right," he confirms, "But that's all just hearsay. It's one thing to know what it's supposed to feel like, but it's another thing to actually experience it oneself." 

JungMi nods and agrees again, pondering over his newfound insight. She sits patiently, awaiting what he shares with her next.

NamJoon suddenly clears his throat; his next words are stuck on the tip of his tongue. He clasps his hands together and rests them on the tabletop. He develops an interest in the lines on his hand, tracing them on the palm of his hand with his thumb.  

"I guess when I thought about that I tried to recall if I've ever experienced something like that in my life… If, maybe in my short lifespan, I have already experienced this connection with another person…" NamJoon explains with an uncertain tone, "And the first person that came to mind was you."

He gazes at her, wanting to see how she reacts to his sudden confession. Although disguised behind fancy wordings and hearsay, NamJoon's heart comes across to her all the same. He can tell by the way her lips are parted in awe and how her delicately shaped eyebrows are raised in bewilderment that JungMi is able to read between the lines.