IQ148 // namjoon ✔️

__MARCH__

March ; 2016

NamJoon has been having strange dreams lately... Or rather, a recurring dream.

It's the same dream every time, but each time he has it the dream seems to be more surreal than the night before.

It's as if he's living his dream.

His mind feels like it's caving in on itself.

Everything feels so real...

Even when he wakes up in a cold sweat, he can feel the chills still lingering in his spine.

His knees are shaky when he stands abruptly from his bed and stumbles his way through the dorm in search of the bathroom, hoping none of the other members are awake to see him like this.

What would they say if they saw their leader having trouble sleeping?

What would his label do?

NamJoon just wants to figure things out on his own... He suffers alone.

Not many would understand even if he were to explain his dream to them.

=====

He can't remember how his dream starts out; how he ended up inside a shipping container.

But he remembers sitting on the floor with his back to the cold, metal wall.

The doors are barred shut for some reason.

Caged like an animal.

He can't get out.

There's only a single lightbulb hanging overhead.

There's sunlight seeping in through the narrow peephole in the door.

A letter arrives.

The envelope is slipped in through the peephole and drops at his feet.

NamJoon picks up the envelope, taking note of its yellowish tint and waxy texture.

The paper inside slides out with ease.

There's a quote written with pen on the front.

He recognizes the handwriting.

He recognizes the quote.

He knows it by heart.

"The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever will be born must first destroy a world."

Some words are smudged as if someone's tears had washed away the ink.

He turns the letter around.

The paper crinkles in his hands at the slightest of movement.

On the back is a sketch.

The sketch lines thread together to create the image of a monochrome bird.

Black wings emerge from the remnants of a broken shell.

It rises from its broken shell and is about to take flight.

This sketch has a message.

It's symbolic to him.

"The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas..."

There's a table with ink and a tattoo tool.

He lays the sketch flat down beside his arm on the table.

He picks up the needle and starts to drag it along his forearm.

He inks the sketch into his skin.