INT. ANDI'S RESTURANT—NIGHT
COMMANDER CRYPTID, a man in his early 30s, and SCARLET WONDER, a woman in her early 30s, sit at a fancy restaurant table complete with candlelight and silk tablecloth. Both are in their superhero costumes, minus capes. They awkwardly push at the food on their plates. Neither make eye contact.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
How's your lasagna?
SCARLET WONDER
Hmm? Oh...it's...it's good. How are your, um, mash potatoes?
Commander Cryptid pokes at his mash potatoes.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
This is...not as easy as I thought it would be.
SCARLET WONDER
It is hard to find something to talk about that doesn't involve work.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
We promised no shop talk tonight. Tonight is just us.
SCARLET WONDER
I can't really think of anything that doesn't have to do with adventuring.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
Maybe some witty banter will get the gears turning. (ahem) Have you ever wondered why villains will always monologue before killing us? I mean, they have us dead to rights. Just finish us off.
SCARLET WONDER
It's ego I suppose. They have some need to tell us—to flaunt their success in our faces.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
I suppose you...
Commander Cryptid bangs on the table, causing it to rattle and the objects on the table to jump an inch.
COMMANDER CRYPTID (CON'T)
Blast it! We're doing it again! No adventure talk tonight.
Scarlet Wonder stares deeply into her lasagna. She seems lost in thought for a moment.
SCARLET WONDER
Do you think we're in a rut?
COMMANDER CRYPTID
What do you mean?
SCARLET WONDER
Are we...too obsessed with fighting crime? We can't even go out one night without talking about it. If we don't talk about it, we have nothing to say to each other. Do you think the magic has gone from our marriage?
Commander Cryptid takes Scarlet Wonder's hand and holds it lovingly. He looks into her eyes.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
No. No. We've just been busy lately. Dr. Burger invading the city with a sentient fruit army. X8-Bit hacking into the stock market. Lord Spiral hypnotizing the President into doing the "Chicken Dance" every time someone mentioned burritos.
SCARLET WONDER
(sighs) Maybe I should call the kids. I'm sure they've completely terrorized Ultra Sitter by now.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
Excellent idea, Dear! You do that.
Commander Cryptid reaches for a newspaper sitting on a neighboring table.
COMMANDER CRYPTID (CON'T)
While you do that, I'll check the news. There must be something we can discuss.
Scarlet Wonder touches both her temples with each index finger. She then closes her eyes. While Scarlet Wonder has her eyes closed, Commander Cryptid reads the paper. He spots the headline "Rare $3 Million Red Diamond Stolen." He gasps in shock before throwing the paper to the floor. Scarlet Wonder opens her eyes and removes her fingers from her temples.
SCARLET WONDER
The kids are fine. Turns out Ultra Sitter lived up to her name. Anything in the news?
COMMANDER CRYPTID
Hmm...nnn-ope.
SCARLET WONDER (GIVING A STERN LOOK)
Mack...
She then spots the newspaper and the headline about the stolen diamond.
SCARLET WONDER (CON'T)
Honey...let's face it. We can't do this. For us a normal date is not sitting around making small talk; it's patrolling the city, kicking bad guy butt, saying one-liners, and posing dramatically.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
Oh, Honey. I love it when you speak Hero.
SCARLET WONDER
What do you say we pay the bill, retrieve our capes from Check-In, have the valet get the Cryptid-Rumbler, and then pound on some diamond thieves?
Commander Cryptid raises his hand.
COMMANDER CRYPTID
Check please!
END
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