DAZED

Chapter Six

After I arrived home and showered the filth off my body that must have come from the stupid party, I sat on the couch with Peaches on my lap and Petunia beside me. What had just happened was insane. I would have never hurt someone. I wouldn't swear. Slowly but surely, I did not know who I was turning into. Okay, relax, Diana. That's who I was; I am Diana. I don't usually swear, fight, drink, or try to have sex. Oh God, I'm a snooze fest. Also, I told Billie that I wanted to have sex with her. Who the hell didn't? My mind begins to get overcome with thoughts of Billie kissing her. So I quickly dial a number that I might regret.

"Hey, Ana!"

"Hey, Jessie..."

Sunlight from the outside peeks through my curtain and shines onto my eyes. A small groan erupts from my throat, and I look around. Last night I called Jessie and had sex. Extremely shocking, but I did.

"Fuck! Diana!"

I inhale sharply at the memory and hear loud knocks on my door. Quickly, I throw on a top and shorts before walking to the door. Who the hell was here? I swing the door open while rubbing my right eye.

"Billie." I greet her, shocked, and take in her appearance. She was so effortlessly beautiful.

"Hey bitch, let me in. I'm hungry." She walks in and kicks off her shoes. A small smile spreads on my face at how blunt this girl was. She takes off her jacket and puts it on the kitchen table. I walk towards her and see a few marks on her neck while she raids my fridge.

"Someone gets some last night?" I ask coldly, gesturing to her neck, and she smirks, laughing lightly.

"You know it. How was your night?" She asked with a wide grin. As I open my mouth, my bedroom door opens without a second thought; a word passes my lips.

"Fuck." Jessie walks out wearing a sheer shirt of mine. Billie raises her eyebrows at me and puts down her tortilla.

"Virgin Diana is no longer?"

"No..." I say softly and walk to Jessie. She smiled and placed a kiss on my lips.

"Okay. Jess. Why are you still here?" We talked about this last night. No feelings. No nothing.

"I'm getting ready to leave, don't worry, babe." She turns around to go back into the room.

"Wow, Jessie, huh? But she isn't too young?" She asked with a rude tone sounding a bit hurt.

"You're 17 and straight, may I add. By all means, come over on your 18th birthday." I spat at her lowly; I was sick of the games she played with me. It wasn't fair in any way. Her eyebrows raise at my tone.

"I'll make sure to do that."

"Billie, you know what, no. This isn't fair. You can't keep doing this shit to me. Playing me like a fucking fool." I continue as Jess walks out of my room, dressed. "Bye, Jess," I say goodbye, my eyes not leaving the girls before me. She didn't reply, but I heard my door open and close, so I knew she had left.

"I'm not doing anything, Diana." She shrugs and turns to continue making her burrito. No. Enough is enough! She can't do this! I swiftly spin her around and hoist her up onto the countertop. I push my lips onto hers, my hand on her neck. Waves of joy are sent throughout my body to my fingertips. She places both her hands on either side of my face. Slowly we pull apart, and our foreheads push against each other.

"I'm sorry. But please stop," I whisper, not looking up to meet her gaze. The coolness of her rings sends goosebumps down my arms as she lifts my head to meet her eyes.

"Diana. I like you."

"Seriously?"

"You're one of my best friends, so yeah, I do." She says, simply nodding as if convincing herself of something. A strong scoff passes my lips as I back away from her.

"Bullshit. You cannot tell me that didn't mean shit to you!" I yell out with tears brimming my eyes, pointing to her lips. The memories with her, mindless flirting, and laughter fill my mind.

"Come on bitch," She says, pulling me along the ride.

"If I puke. It's your fault." We laugh and go on the ride, waiting for about 20 minutes. Soon we are situated; she looks over at me.

"You got me, Di?"

"I got you..."

Billie stands up from the counter and lets out a deep breath.

"Okay, try this one," she shoves a chip with a strange dip into my mouth. I immediately start gagging, only making her laugh, and I chase her through the apartment. Finally catching her by the waist, she locks eyes with me and glances at my lips.

"Diana. I'm straight, okay, man? Yeah, sure, I'm down to experiment, but at the end of the day, I'm strictly dick." I take my lower lip between my teeth and grab my jacket, slipping on any shoes.

"Alright. Let's go."

"Admit it, Eilish. You're scared."

"No, I'm not bitch." She snaps back and tries to hide under the blanket as we watch this scary movie. A slight smirk crawls onto my face as I yell boo in her ear. I was causing her to shriek and slap my arm. I hold on to her tightly as she squirms, mutter swears at me as I am about to let her go. She whispers one more thing.

"Don't. ... stay."

"Diana, come on. This is your apartment. I don't want to lose you as a friend." She tries to stop me; I grab my car keys and turn one last time, tears down my face. This surprised her; my tears, pain, and mother fucking misery surprised her. The fact that her words hurt me more than I'd like to admit.

"No, Billie. Would you please leave me alone? Like seriously. I don't care if this is my apartment. Take whatever the fuck you want. Just when I come back. Leave. Leave my home. My life. My fucking mind and my very heart. Alright? You lost me the moment you kissed me." This was goodbye. No more Billie. No more Finneas. No more anything. I stepped forward and pulled her towards me by the end of her shirt, placing a soft kiss on her lips for the final time. My arms wrap around her tiny waist as my hands run up and down her back. Her body pushed against mine while her arms lay on my shoulders. I pull away breathlessly, with my eyes filled with tears.
"Bye." I let out a hoarse tone before walking to my car.

Fuck you, Billie.

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