Finding where I fit

Chapter 1: Troubled gold

Dark storm clouds thundered overhead as the sky broke open. A woman huddled underneath of the ledge of the door. Tears ran down her face, mixing with the icy rain. She couldn't do this to him. It wasn't fair to do this. But she had no other choice. She was so desperate. She jumped and looked behind herself, not knowing if they were footsteps or thunderclaps, but she needed to get him to safety. Water poured over her feet as she pulled an envelope from her worn coat pocket. She reached inside the coat and pulled out the wrapped bundle as it slept peacefully. The child lay silent, despite the howling wind that bit into her face like glass as she knocked on the door. She lay him down on the step. Perfectly bundled and sleeping soundly under the shelter, unaware of his future or past, and the part that she had played in it. Now a million more possibilities than she could have ever given him.

She dashed out into the rain without looking back.

***

There was a loud knock on the kitchen door. It echoed as the house shook in the dark night time and the heavens cried outside for mercy. The husband dashed downstairs, carrying a stick behind him. Lightning flashed as he creaked the door handle and pulled it open.

Laying on the step, blissfully unaware, was a small baby boy, wrapped in a tattered blanket and an old worn coat. The farmer picked up the note.

"Please take care of my beautiful, golden boy. His name is Jonathan Christopher."

***

"Get up or they'll get all the breakfast again and you'll go without!"

Jonathan sat up on the low cot bed, as the sun tried to break through the dark and dusty windows. There were so many children here. Unwanted. Broken. Abandoned. Littered on the low beds that were packed together in the small room.

Every morning was the same routine. Wake up early and fight if you wanted something to eat. Don't fight and go hungry.

Jonathan pushed his was through the mass of children, as they fought and squabbled for the brown bag of pastries that was thrown onto the table. He kicked and shoved as they all dashed forward. He'd developed a bit of a reputation after coming here from his fourth "family." The other kids had figured out that he knew how to fight for himself, and he had to made sure that they remembered it.

Elbows and feet made contact as the other children were thrown aside. Jonathan jumped on the table and grabbed the bag. He held it up in the air as he shouted "EVERYONE BACK OFF!"

The door behind him flew open and he turned his head to see the matron staring with her mouth open. "Jonathan! Get down! Get off the table NOW!" The table creaked as he jumped in the air, flipping over as he'd landed with his knees perfectly bent. He had been encouraged to join gymnastics by the people in the second house he had been taken to. He was doing well with it before they decided not to bother with him anymore. He didn't need them anyway. He didn't need the responsibility of caring for anyone but himself. Caring for others just left you open to being hurt.

The matron held the door open slightly and gestured her head for him to follow her. He grabbed what he wanted from the brown paper bag and threw it across the room for the other children to fight over.

***

Jonathan brushed off his lap, strewing crumbs over the office floor. Someone else could clean it. It was the least they could do after what he had to suffer here.

The matron looked over him with a disapproving glare. He leaned back with his arms bent behind his head. "What's the point? They're going to bring me back in a week, be both know that. Did you show them my file? I bet they wouldn't want me if you did." The matron sighed, softening a bit as she walked behind him and tried to place her hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from her touch as she sighed again. "To love is to destroy. That's what you say, isn't it Jonathan? We try our best to keep you children happy here. I know its hard and we don't have much money but we do the best with the donations we receive. Don't you want to fight for your forever family Jonathan? Instead of fighting to get distance from everyone? You could have a home; and people who will care for you. Brothers. Sisters. Family."

"I don't want to be taken away again! I'll lose my spot on the floor! No family will want me with them! They wont be my family anyway! Family is blood! I'm just a stray that people give back when they get fed up and cant handle me anymore!"

The matron ran her hands over her silver streaked hair. Her eyes were tired and weary. "I'm sorry you feel that way Jonathan. There's a couple here who would like to meet you. They have a house in the country, in a quiet little town with a nice park. They have three children, a girl who is the same age as you, and two boys who are two and twelve. They've never fostered or adopted-" Jace interrupted as he rolled his eyes, listing just some of the phrases that he'd heard before. "Trouble makers. Brats. Delinquents. Unfixables."

"-troubled children before. But they're both very sweet and want you to join their family. Jonathan, contrary to what you say, you are not broken or damaged. You've had a bad start to life, I agree but you just need to find the right family and they could be-"

"They wont be my family! My Mom left me on the steps of a farm house! They didn't want me! My family didn't want me, my family! How can you say that I'm not broken when my own blood didn't even want me! I'm seven and I've lived with nine different couples!" He spat his words as tears ran down his face. "I'll never stay away from this place!... Sure! Send me with the unfortunate pair and their unsuspecting kids if you want! But they'll never be my family! Just hold my spot on the floor because I give you a week, and I'll be back."

***

Maryse's hands shook, as Robert held the phone to his ear. He nodded as she pulled at his sleeve, trying to get him to whisper what they were saying on the other end. After several more minutes, Robert hung up and sat down, pulling one of the kitchen chairs out. The children were all at his sister's house, so everything was quiet.

"They're bringing him here to meet us Maryse, but they said to be prepared because he's got some behaviour problems. I know that we agreed to take on a child that needed a family badly, but they said that he's been with nine different families already. Doesn't that ring alarm bells? We've got three children Maryse, one is just two years old. Are we sure that they are all going to be safe with him around?"

Maryse bent over the table with her hands on her head. "What we've heard Robert... what that poor child has been through...Don't we owe it to him to try? Its just a trial period for now to see if he settles and maybe we could be good for him. Maybe he'd like it here, and he could stay with us permanently. How amazing would that be? Our family completed and we've helped a poor boy who's never known anything but a broken system and heartache. Besides, how hard could he be to handle? How badly behaved could one seven year old really be?"