Finding where I fit

Chapter 6: Broken keys

[Authors note: This chapter happens on the same day as Chapter 11 of 'Meet me by the swing set'. If you haven't read it, then you can for extra information, it contains no spoilers.

Jace looked out as snow poured down the window. Alec had been out all day and he'd promised Jace that they would play video games later. Why hadn't he come back yet? Jace had been with his new family for a year tomorrow, and Alec had promised him a boys' day with Max included, but he wasn't four yet and probably not very good competition on his own. Jace continued to stare out the window as Maryse called up from the bottom of the loft ladder, she didn't like coming up unless she had to, so it was kind of like a boys' hang out since Izzy had swapped her room with Max.

Jace popped his head over the hole in the floor. "Mom? Do you know where Alec is? He said that he would play video games with me today." Maryse sighed, gesturing for him to come down while she held her hand out. "He had to go to the park to meet with Magnus. They haven't been able to see each other in person for nearly a year and I knew that you'd understand." Jace creased his eyebrows. He didn't. "But it's pouring down with snow Mom, they'll freeze. Can't they come back here instead?" Maryse sighed and grabbed his hand as he reached the bottom of the step. "I made them some soup and said to come back if they get too cold, but I think they just want to talk amongst themselves Jace, they are both growing boys and they've changed a lot in the past year, they need a chance to catch up." She ruffled Jace's hair slightly. "Why don't we go see what Izzy is doing."

Jace shook his head, he just had. "She's painting her nails Mom, that's not really my forte. Is there anything else we could do?" Maryse thought for a moment, she needed to go into town for a bit. "I need to run a few errands downtown. Why don't you come with me?" Jace nodded as they started to make their way downstairs, shopping wasn't his first choice, but it was better than makeup 101 with his sister.

***

Jace stared out of the window. Gosh, this car ride was taking forever. Maryse was getting excited and was trying to explain about the various shapes of snowflakes while Jace hoped and prayed that they didn't get stranded out of town for the night. "Mom, can I ask you something?" She looked over to Jace for a second, as she turned the steering wheel. "Of course, sweetie. What is it?" Jace hesitated before speaking, he didn't want to upset Maryse in any way, or make her feel bad. "Does Alec really like me? I mean he promised me that he would be there for me today and I get if he's busy, but he said that first, then Magnus called, and he went to see him in the park instead. Does he prefer him to me?" Maryse pulled the car into a parking space while she looked sadly at Jace. He had started out with so little and she knew that Alec couldn't help the timing today, but she felt sorry for Jace. "Jace honey, Alec is your brother and he loves you very much. Please don't take it personally. I'll talk to him. You know how he gets when Magnus comes back into town for a visit." Jace nodded. There were plenty of things that he still didn't understand. He knew that Alec and Magnus didn't have what you would call a 'conventional' friendship, but he tried to understand that when Alec went shooting off or cancelled plans sometimes, he didn't mean it to be cruel, he just missed having his friend around.

The shops were set out in a circle around the square, so Maryse had told Jace that he could look around, as long as he didn't go far. He had a cheap mobile phone, so he couldn't really get lost anyway. Maryse told him to meet her in that spot, later on. She hugged him tightly, she hated any of her kids straying from her as it reminded her how quickly that they were growing up and becoming dependant, but she had to give them some freedom. She put some money in Jace's hand and told him to pick out something he liked before they went in separate directions.

***

Several hours passed and Maryse looked at the time on her phone, she was starting to get worried. Jace was supposed to be there by now. There was a shop nearby that sold things for various hobbies, so maybe he was in there? Maryse pushed the door open and the bell dinged as she entered.

Maryse's eyes lit up in awe as she went into the shop. Beautiful classical music ran through the shop and spun around her in circles. Maryse moved around the corner, following the sound of each perfect note. The owner of the store was sat on the bench of a huge grand piano. It was only when she got closer that she realised that he wasn't actually the one playing. Maryse stared in amazement as Jace moved his hands gracefully across the keys, he'd been there all afternoon by the looks of it. The shop owner stood up and walked over to Maryse and smiled as they watched Jace run his hands over the keys. "Your son has an amazing talent Ma'am, you should be so proud. I hope he continues with his teachings." The man walked past Maryse and back into the shop as the front door dinged again. Maryse smiled. This young boy continued to surprise her in new ways all the time. She spoke as the shop owner disappeared around the corner. "I had no idea he even played."

***

Maryse and Jace were out of the car and walking back the house by the time Maryse spoke again. "Why the hell didn't you say that you knew how to play piano Jace?" Jace looked up at her, sometimes he liked keeping secrets, it made him feel powerful in knowing things that others didn't, but that wasn't the reason this time. "I guess it didn't matter. One of the homes that I stayed in was with an old man. He lived above a music store and it was the longest I had ever stayed with someone. He used to teach me how to play...before he had a heart attack." Jace teared up with the voice of an eight year old who had seen to much. "There wasn't anything they could have done anyway, I couldn't save him, so I was taken back into care." Tears filled up in Maryse's eyes and she heard the shouts of the tiny boy who was being taken back to the children's home. "I'm so sorry Jace, but there was nothing you could have-" Maryse looked out ahead of them as Alec ran past with tears down his face. Maryse tried to reach for his sleeve but he kept running. "Alec! What's the matter?! Is Magnus okay? I thought he was staying over tonight?" Alec continued walking, looking extremely frustrated as he ran his hands through his hair. "He's fine Mom, I just told him that I'm not feeling well so I'm not up to it tonight." He went through the front door and shot up the stairs as Maryse was left staring with her mouth open. She knew Alec had been having some internal battles recently, but she thought that was all over with now.

Jace pulled at her sleeve slightly. There were tears down her face and Jace knew that she hated seeing any of her children upset. "It's okay Mom. I'll go talk to him." Maryse ran her hand down her face as they entered the house and she placed her bag on the kitchen table. "You can try Jace, but he doesn't ever tell anyone when something's wrong. I wish-" she wiped her face "I wish he would just tell me what's bothering him." Jace walked to the bottom of the stairs as he heard Alec throw himself onto his bed.

***

There was a tap on the door. Alec ignored it, he really didn't want to be having conversations with his mother right now. The door opened slightly as Jace stuck his head in. Alec was lying on his stomach with his pillow over his head. His speech was muffled. "What do you want Jace?" he usually wanted to borrow a video game or something. Jace shut the door behind him and surprised Alec with his response. "I just want you to be happy Alec. What's wrong?" Alec sat up on his bed and rubbed his face. "Can you keep a secret Jace? and I mean a really big secret." Jace nodded "I swear on my beautiful golden locks" Alec rolled his eyes as he tapped the bed for Jace to sit down, maybe explaining this to someone from an outside view would help after all. Jace put his hand on his brother's shoulder "Alec? Is this about Magnus." Alec's eyes teared up and he took a few breaths to calm himself down. "Jace, you know what crushes are right?-" Jace nodded, girls giggled at him in school all the time, of course he knew what crushes were. "Well I don't know what's happening but maybe I have a crush on Magnus. I don't know because we've only had each other, and I don't know if its because I miss him and he's the only friend I've ever had or if I actually do like him." Jace nodded as he patted Alec's back, he'd never heard of boys having crushes on boys before, but he supposed it happened, maybe boys stared at him like girls did, and he'd never noticed before. "I don't think its worth upsetting yourself over Alec, I mean you're 13. Maybe you're not old enough to know yet. Maybe when your older, if Magnus feels the same then maybe you guys could end up together, but you've got plenty of time to decide that, okay? There's no rush." Alec hugged his brother tightly, maybe having Jace to talk to would be really useful. "Thank you Jace, I feel lighter now." Jace hugged him back, Alec had been torturing himself for months and they were both so glad to share some of the weight. "Promise me something Alec. When we are much older, if you and Magnus do end up together, can you promise that you'll tell me?"