Not Alone Any More {Chase Elliott || Sequel to Only the Lonely} ✔️

viii.

chase had a sinking feeling that he had ruined everything. typical chase.

he hadn't meant to tell her that he was scared but kathryn claire's accusations had knocked the wind out of him and the words tumbled out of him. that was the first time he had been able to put a word to the feelings that had started to swirl in his mind after he had talked to ryan.

scared. he was scared.

scared of what? it wasn't particularly clear to him.

scared of being hurt? maybe, but he trusted kathryn claire, he knew she'd never hurt him.

maybe it was that he was scared of opening back up to somebody, allowing himself to be vulnerable. maybe it was the fact that the woman he had thought that he was going to marry him systematically cheated on him the entire time and he had been none the wiser. as much trust as he had for kathryn claire, at one point he had the same amount of trust with alicia. 

deep down, he knew that part of this stemmed from the fact that he had never fully processed or dealt with what had happened between him and alicia or even he and ryan. he had shoved it in a box in the back of his mind, trying his hardest to forget about it. and when ryan called, it had stirred it up everything that he had tried to forget.

but he wasn't sure it really mattered anymore because somehow kathryn claire had managed to convince herself that he had been lying to her about being in love with her right in front of him. he had no idea how that had happened or when but hearing her accuse him of lying about being in love with her made him want to fall apart.

because that was just how things went for him. when he had a good thing going, he always found a way to mess it up.

and now he was scared that he was going to lose her.

"scared?" kathryn claire repeated slowly. "chase, i --"

he cut her off. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry for all of it." he shoved his hands in his pockets. "if you haven't noticed, i'm really good at fucking things up." chase shook his head.

"you should've told me," she whispered, shaking her head. "you're not alone anymore, chase. we'll figure this out but i can't help if you don't tell me." her hazel eyes studied him for a moment, seeping with sincerity. she had this way of putting him at ease, almost like magic. she was magic.

"i'm really sorry about what happened a bit ago." chase broke the silence, his face heating up. "that was uncalled for and i'm sorry."

it was true. he wished he had an explanation but it was another example of how he acted before he considered the consequences, acted before he considered who he'd hurt. an example of his impulsivity.

the dash was the one thing chase controlled. he had set it up the exact way he liked it. his profession had a lot of things out of his control so he clung to what he could control -- they all did. so when he saw that somebody was in his car, he blanked, words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. 

she nodded slowly. "okay." her voice was small, almost as if she was unsure. 

"what can i do to make it up to you?" he reached over, squeezing her hand. 

a smile spread across her face, "you could take me back to that diner and buy me a cheeseburger."

chase couldn't help but grin back, "done."

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"well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." sue ann chirped as they stepped into the diner. "you sure gave us quite a scare."

chase gave her a cool smile, "isn't that my job?"

sue ann shook her head but gave chase a smile back, "we're all really glad that you're okay, son. take a seat anywhere. ryan is in his usual spot."

chase's chest tightened. he had planned, prepared himself to see ryan after this race. he knew that he should, that he should bury the hatchet, let himself heal, hope that it would allow him to move on. he looked over at kathryn claire, hoping that she would give him guidance.

"we don't have to," she whispered, squeezing his hand, almost as if she were reading his mind. "but it's up to you, okay? i'll be here no matter what."

chase squeezed her hand back, nodding slowly. he knew what he needed to do. he needed to heal so he could move on, so he could give as much of himself to kathryn claire as possible. she deserved that. 

he gave her a shaky smile as his legs moved forward toward the table. he stopped short, taking a deep breath. 

"hey man, mind if we sit?"