Fight for me (Completed)

Chapter - 12

Authors notes:

Another chapter posted early. I have a little free time these days so decided to post earlier than scheduled. Hope you enjoy this. Please comment and vote. It inspires me a lot.

Amy's POV:

I rush to the bathroom and lock it. My hands tremble and my legs give out. I slide down the floor and pull my knees to my chest, breathing erratically. For the past two weeks, since I accepted Ethan's offer to come here, I have been worried about so many things but not even in my wildest imagination, I thought we will end up in the same bed and nearly have sex. My biggest fear has been the nightmares and panic attacks. Since the assault, I have been waking up scream in the middle of the night and having difficulty breathing after. I met a therapist just a couple of days ago and she suggested setting an alarm and waking up every couple of hours so I don't fall in a deep sleep. It seemed to work, but it also meant not getting enough sleep. I have been exhausted since I started this new sleeping pattern.

Yesterday night after the horrible dinner with Ethan's family, I had too much on my mind and I forgot to switch on the alarm. I don't know why but I didn't have any nightmares last night and slept peacefully after a long time. I thought I just woke up from a bad dream when I felt Ethan's hands and mouth on me. In my fogged brain, I thought the past three years was a long bad dream and I just woke up from it. The divorce or the assault never happened and we are still together. It felt like any other morning in Ethan's arms. Though a tiny part of me told me that it was not a bad dream, I ignored it and kissed Ethan. The bad dream made me feel so lonely and sad, and Ethan's kisses were making everything better. He always made everything better. When I felt his finger there, I was suddenly transported to the night of the attack and I realized everything did happen. Ethan did divorce me and I was attacked that night two weeks ago. Remembering the attack, I panicked.

I try to calm my breath inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth as the therapist taught me. God, what the hell was I doing? For Christ sake, he has a fiance. He almost cheated on her. What does that make me? I never thought Ethan is the kind of person who will cheat. It makes me angry and sad at the same time. After a few minutes, I get my breathing back to normal. Once I freshen up, I slowly open the bathroom door and peek outside. Ethan is sitting on the bed with a cup of coffee. I don't want to have a conversation about what happened. I am still confused with Ethan's and my behaviour. But I can't stay in the bathroom forever. I take a deep breath and get out.

"I asked for the breakfast to be served in the room", Ethan says softly staring at me, no doubt trying to read me.

I sit at the edge of the bed and start eating. I am hungry but it's awkward to eat as he watches me like a hawk. I eat a piece of toast and I decide its better to skip breakfast. I place the plate back on the tray and start to leave the room. Ethan stops me and says

"I will go. You should eat. You haven't had a proper meal since yesterday's lunch". Then he leaves immediately.

Once he left, I finish my breakfast and spend the rest of the day avoiding everyone. Ethan too left me alone only sending food through Mr Lockhart. Mr Peter Lockhart is the manager of Lanai Island and he knows every nook and corner of the island. He gave me a brilliant idea to trek around the island and offered to prepare me some snacks to take on the trek. I have no intention of meeting anyone tomorrow as well but being cooped up in a room all day long was boring and brought thinks back to my mind that I was trying to desperately forget. So I decided to go on a trek tomorrow. Who knows when will I get a chance to be on a vacation again. When I spoke to Kate earlier, she also encouraged me to explore the island.

I slept early that night and woke up quite early the next day to avoid Ethan. When I am about to leave the room, Ethan wakes up and asks,

" Where are you going so early in the morning?"