Fight for me (Completed)

Chapter 23

Author's notes:
Sorry for the delay. I am doing a number of things right now and failing to manage properly. I will try to finish this book as soon as possible. Please bare with me.

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Ethan's POV:

I look to my left and see that Amy is fast asleep. It's been so long since she looked so vulnerable and scared. I watched her grow stronger every day. Her heart was in the right place when she chose baking and it's helping her recover. I have no clue what caused this sudden meltdown but I am going to find it and fix it.

My phone vibrates in my pocket once again and I know it's either James or Kate. They have been blowing up my phone from the moment I told them that I was taking Amy to my place. I decide I have to know what happened in the restaurant before I talk to Amy.

I change lanes and park the car near a gas station. I get out quietly making sure Amy is not disturbed. Once I am out of the car, I check my phone and notice there are more than 50 calls and messages from the siblings. I ignore them and dial James number. He picks up the call in a single ring.

"How is Amy? what happened?", James asks hurried.

"I thought you will know what happened. I ran into Amy at the entrance. She was upset, panicking and wanted to leave so I left with her"

"So she is not hurt or anything?", James sounds worried and I understand his fear. He was the one to spot an almost dead Amy after she was assaulted by Sandro. He might appear calm but the incident weighs heavily on him. I have seen him lose his composure when he is unable to help Amy.

" She was freaking out for a while but then she calmed down. She is sleeping now."

"Okay, good", he says finally releasing a puff of breath.

" So what happened?"

"Couple of things", James says trying to avoid my question.

" What things?", I ask more forcible making sure he understands that he is not getting away without answering me.

"Some guest instructor from the baking program asked Amy out and Kate invited him today without Amy's consent"

I can feel there is something more.

"And?"

"Kate told Amy that I have feelings for her and she invited that douche to prove the point"

"Oh.. Okay", I say unsure how to react. If the very thought of James being interested in Amy, sends her into a panic attack, does it mean she is not interested in him?

Another ray of hope sprouts and ones again I feel I can win back Amy. Every time Amy jumps into my arms for comfort, a little more hope sprouts in me.

It has happened a few times and Amy seems to not realize that she takes comfort in me when in duress. I can't help but wonder if it's a sign.

Does Amy still love me? If she does, will she give me another chance?

I look back inside the car and see Amy curled up in the seat. She looks at peace. Did I bring her peace, I wonder again?.

I sigh and get back in the car. As I shut the car door, Amy wakes up. She looks around confused.

" Where are we?", She asks her voice hoarse from sleep. It brings back memories of the mornings when we were married. God. Life was so good then. I want to punch myself millionth time for being an idiot and destroying the beautiful life we had.

"Almost home"

Amy sits back straight and stares out the window watching the moving traffic, probably remembering what happened at the restaurant. When her features scramble, I take her hand in mine and caress it, providing comfort.

"Everything will be fine, Amy", I say softly.

" Did you know?", she asks still staring out the window and looking lost.

"What do I know?", I ask

" That, James is in love with me"

I try to find a word that describes what I feel right now. It's part jealousy, part defeat, part anger and a lot of sadness. 

"Yes, I don't know when. But my guess is from the first time he met you".

"Oh..", she says and remains quiet for a long time. I start the car and head towards my penthouse giving her time to think. When we reach the parking lot of the apartment complex, Amy speaks again

"I can't be a normal girlfriend or lover or wife"

"Why not Amy? Is it because of the assaults? Those don't define who you are Amy. You are a beautiful woman, who fought every tragic event that happened in your life. You should be proud of yourself. You have come a long way and you are moving forward in a direction you love. Anyone will be proud to have you in their life Amy", I say.

"It's not that", she says hesitantly.

" What is it?"

"I... I. Can't have anyone touch me. The very thought terrifies me. James will have needs. I can't satisfy him"

"James is a good man. He knows what happened. I am sure he will be patient.", I say even though I don't want to advocate for James. Only a few minutes ago, I was hoping to win Amy back and now I am persuading her to give another man a chance. I am not sure if I should kick myself or laugh at myself.

" James can't be patient forever. It's been months and even after all the therapy, I can only let Kate touch me. And really it's only hand-holding... I don't know when I will be ready for intimate stuff..."

"Maybe you should try something like hugs."

"Kate will be moving to Europe soon. I have to wait for her to come back.", Amy says defeated.

"I can help. Haven't you noticed Amy, you let me touch you, hold you? I read an article about people with a fear of touch, Haphephobia. Some people who have this condition have exceptions. They let few people who they trust touch them. Maybe deep down you still trust me. Maybe I can be your partner at therapy when Kate is not there."

"Oh... Okay", she says nodding thoughtfully.

We leave the parking lot and head up to my penthouse. Kate mulls over the idea. I can see the gears turning in her head. I am worried if I overstepped my boundaries. Did I sound desperate? I am desperate but not to touch her. I want her to be happy and take all her worries away. If it is James who can give her the happiness so be it. I will have to accept it though, the mere thought feels like someone is pulling out my insides.

After entering the penthouse, Amy rubs her arms and looks around awkwardly.

" I will heat up some leftover", I say trying to break the tension in the room.

"No, it's okay. I am not hungry."

"I will get something for you to sleep in", I say heading towards my bedroom.

" Ethan..", she calls me hurried. "Dr Karv suggested that I practice touch. She says the more I practice or allow someone to touch me I will be able to get over the fear. She even has a book about it. It has a methodology and step by step progress pattern. Kate and I read the book but it is more intimate and either of us is not comfortable with such intimacy. You said earlier that you are willing to help. Can you be my partner in this therapy?"

"Okay", I say conflicted.

"I will give you the book. If you are okay we can do it. Otherwise, no problem. I don't want you to feel pressured to help me."

"I promised you, Amy. Anything you need. I am there. Whatever you want, ask me. I will move heaven and earth to make it happen", I say even though I know what she is asking is to get her ready for James. She wants to be better for him and any ray of hope I had before dies. I realize I don't have a chance any more.