Shards of Sanity (Book 6, Forgotten Series)

Chapter Seven

I felt raw. Aching and raw in a way that wouldn't stop. Like someone had cracked open my chest and scoured my bones and organs violently. It was painful and aching and, just like with my loss of mate and child, I felt like couldn't breathe.

I had sat and watched as Shey and Luka mourned over their daughter. Shey had wailed and sobbed until her voice broke and turned hoarse, clinging to her baby that would never come back. Luka had held them both, rocking them back and forth, no sounds coming from him as he stared off into the darkness with eyes that weren't quite seeing what was in front of him. They sat in the dark of the temple that housed the goddess that had done that to them, had taken that from them.

I watched my Alphas break over the death of their child.

I knew that was a pain one never forgot, never got over. It made my chest throb and ache as I remembered my little Bethany and her death, how her little body looked so small and fragile and unnaturally pale on the coroner's table when I had been taken in to identify them both. I had clung to her and Catherine, as Shey and Luka now clung to Amelia, refusing to let them go. It had taken my father and my two uncles to pull me away from that cold, metallic room, away from the shells of those I had so loved. I felt like I had left my heart in that cold room with them.

It was the last time I had seen them. Catherine's family had barred me and my family from attending their funerals. It was my fault, they said, I did not deserve the peace it would bring. I had agreed. Two days later I had run away, had gone dark, had left reality for the comforting embrace of the darkness that only my wolf could give me.

"Home, Luka. We have to take her h-home." Shey's voice was cracked and broken, nothing but a raw whisper as it shook with the sobs her body was holding back. I looked at her, her face was white and the salt from her tears created red and raw trails down her cheeks. Her face was shallow and sunken in, her hair hung limp around her face. She held Amelia tucked close to her chest before an anguished keening rose up in her chest as she bent her head down, brushing her lips across the little girl's face. "She needs to go home. We need to take her home. She belongs with family, she belongs with L-Lily." She choked on the name, looking up at Luka as if he could make it better, as if he could soothe the burning pain and breathlessness that I knew encased her chest and lungs.

He said nothing I could hear but brushed his lips across her sunken in cheek and held them both closer, held them tighter before he pressed his face into Shey's hair, his shoulders shaking. "She needs to come home. She can't stay here, not here, Luka." Shey's body shook and I closed my eyes slowly, wiping at my own sticky cheeks. I was not unashamed that I had wept for the little life I had called my family, that had called me Uncle Mikey, that had loved with such a passion and depth that you were always left in awe. I wept over a brilliant soul that was taken away from us, from the world. It was a loss that was not easily overcome.

I slowly stood up, using on of the stone pews to get to my feet as my knees and muscles protested the movements. The sky was still dark and I didn't know what time it was but it felt like we had been there for years. I ran my hand through my hair, bunching my hand and tugging on the strands. My chest felt aching and raw and hollow and I knew the feeling wouldn't go away, not for a long while.

"We need to take her home, Luka." Shey gave a keening sound as she pressed her face into Amelia's curls. "Please, Luka." It was a pained and anguished whimper and I closed my eyes against how broken they both looked. I let my hand drop to my side before I stood up straighter. I needed to be strong and I needed to be the rock that Shey and Luka rested on. I could grieve later but right now they needed me.

The creak of the doors opening had me turning around on stiff and uncooperative legs. Ambris stood in the doorway, the scent of rain flowing on the breeze that blew by her. "I understand that this is a difficult time." Her voice echoed slightly in the temple and I found myself stiffening as my eyes narrowed. She didn't need to make this situation any worse with her callous remarks. Luka and Shey did not need that, not now. "But if you wish to go home, the rain has stopped completely and one of the priests has offered to drive you there. To grant you time to grieve with your little female without distraction." The offer was surprising and I looked over my shoulder and I watched as Luka pressed his face into Shey's hair once more.