Tododeku angst

Chapter 1

I stood at the railing overlooking my college's grounds. I had left a note for my roomate, asking him to deliver the envelope to my mom. I didn't even let myself cry over this. I took my shoes off, and slowly made my way over the rail, a soft smile gracing my face. Unfortunately I couldn't make it the whole way without crying. I was leaving my mom behind, without her husband or her child, I was leaving my friends without me but.... I couldn't anymore. I squeezed my eyes shut and smiled, welcoming death. I slowly leaned forward feeling my feet slip.

"What are yo-" The mystery voice was cut off by my descent. I then felt... a hand? Wrap around my wrist? I hissed in pain because of my new cuts, but most importantly I looked up to see who stopped me. It was my roomate Todoroki. He saw me... He saw me try to jump. My face burned as I dangled there, his hand wrapped tightly around my wrist, his eyes burning into me.

"What are you doing?" He asked me firmly. That when I saw it. Tears were in the corners of his eyes. This wouldn't have been a big deal for me, but he didn't even cry when he was slapped in public by his father. Or when he received the letter of his mom's death. No, Todoroki never cries and yet... he's crying now?

"What are you doing?" He asked again. I pulled myself out of my thoughts to look up at him.

"I-... I..." For some reason I couldn't form coherent words. Tears welled up in my eyes and started dribbling down my face. Todoroki hauled me over the railing and I stumbled away from him. I leaned over, crying and gasping heavily. Suddenly I felt arms wrap around my, forcing my head into it. Is Todoroki... hugging me?

"Please... Please don't do that again." I hard Todoroki whisper in my ear. That's when I heard it. Small sobs were coming from the figure next to me. He sobbed into my shoulder, and I was shocked speechless.

"Why would you... Why would you care?" I asked, my voice shaky from the events. Todoroki squeezed me against him tighter, causing his body to almost engulf my small one. I felt warmth all around me and it was... kind of nice. Todoroki breathed heavily in my ear.

"I love you and don't want you dead." He whispered.

My breath hitched as more tears welled in my eyes. He couldn't... I couldn't!

Todoroki's arms squeeze me tighter, there was no distance between us as he hugged me. My shoulder was still being dampened by his tears, and I was sniffling to keep back tears of my own. Love... Friendship love or...? Other kind? I brought my arms up and hugged Todoroki back.

"I love you..." Todoroki softly said in my ear.

When we got back to the dorm I layed down on my bed, facing away from Todoroki. He sighed.

"I have Teriyaki..." He cooed. I craned my head around, and sure enough he had a bag of take out Teriyaki. I sat up on my bed and reached for the bag. Todoroki pulled it away.

"Not until you tell me a few things." Not what I was expecting, but I would do anything for Teriyaki. I might even kill for it if I had to.

"Okay..."

"Do you cut yourself?" I sucked in a breath. I had hoped for any conversation but this one. Like literally any conversation. I would prefer to talk about my big fat crush on him. I looked down at my lap, and specifically at my sleeves. Then I saw Todoroki reaching for my arms. I pulled away from him, but he had set down the food, and had the advantage. He sat on my stomach, pinning my legs with his, and pinned my arms above my head. If we hadn't been under different circumstances I would've thought he'd be trying to kiss me.

"Todoroki please don't!" I gasped as I felt his free hand start to pull down my sleeve. I started struggling underneath him, making it near impossible to pull down the sleeve. Suddenly his lips crashed onto mine. My eyes widened and I felt blood rushing to my face. I stopped moving as he deepened the kiss. I was so shocked that I couldn't even kiss back. Saliva ran down the side of my cheek, and I could feel his tongue moving up and down my tongue, while still exploring my mouth. His body heat rolled onto me in waves.