𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐰?✔[COMPLETED]

C H 13 : He Doesn't Know

Dear Diary 💕
4/10/1X
Monday, afternoon 2:06 PM

"He deserves the best, not me. Maybe one day, if I had the chance, I could take it only if you're comfortable."

- ♡♡Palette xoxo♡♡
(*'˘'*)♡

** Palette's P.O.V **

When I came home later yesterday, Goth was still up, waiting for me which I found cute but I don't know why. He offered me Dinner because he can tell whether I ate or not which is true, I didn't eat. I ate dinner and didn't say anything else for I told him to get ready for bed. It was peculiar though, why would he be waiting for me when I told him not to? I shook my head. I also found out that my diary wasn't closed properly. But I was so sure that it was closed properly, but I guess I took a blind eye and did realize it. I also realized that I didn't clean the mess on the wall, I was coughing violently yesterday morning and I happened to spill it all over the walls. I hope Goth didn't go sneaking into my room.

He wouldn't do that, right?

Of course he wouldn't, I trust him and I trust him so all is good. I just need to know if he didn't snoop around in my room with my diary. I had wrote a lot of personal things in there, especially the fact that I had the disease. what I meant about 'errands' is going to buy some products that can tone down my coughing and puking. It was starting to take a toll on my throat and it was always burning. My voice wouldn't even sound the same if Goth noticed, but I convinced him that it was just cough. Nothing else.

When I bought the products to tone down the coughing and puking, I learned that the flower that you puke can help tone it down as well, you can make it into a remedy. So I just need to drink about 4-5 flowers that I puked out before I go to bed. I know it sounds the disgusting but I have to do it so he wouldn't know. I would do anything in my power, anything that I could do for them not to find out. I don't want to go through surgery and I don't want Goth to hate me, I just want to live in peace.

Im pretty sure it's alright now, because he doesn't know.

** Goth's P.O.V **

I lay in bed. Staring at the ceiling for who knows how long. I couldn't stop thinking about what I read in Palette's so called diary yesterday. I couldn't help but remember all the words that he just said. I can't help but feel happy for the fact that he started to read books just because of me, I can't help but feel sorry that I ignored him all those years, I can't help but feel bad and guilty for the fact that I never noticed I've been hurting him for so long.

Why am I such an idiot?

I clutched my head in frustration. Did Palette really feel like that until now? How was moving on hard for him? What am I to him? I'm nothing special, why would he like me? I don't understand, why does he like me? He's not supposed to like me and I'm straight. It's not gonna work out.

I doubt that we could work out.

But something inside me is telling it's gonna work out even if we had our ups and downs because that's part of hardships in romantic relationships. What am I going to do? Why is my emotions all over the place? Why can't think straight? (A/n: please don't.) Why can't I live a normal life where no one bothers me? What made Palette fall for me? What did I do make him feel that way?

These questions are going to make my non-existent brain explode from too much over thinking. I sigh, frustrated. Why must everything be so hard?

'Ugh! If only I didn't read his diary, I would've lived into oblivion without knowing his feelings towards me'

'Even if I was oblivious to his feelings, it would still hurt him.'

'But I shouldn't act like I don't wanna be close to him anymore, I shouldn't act like it. I should act like I never read his diary.'

Even if he did confessed to me, he doesn't know.

** Third Person's P.O.V **

"He doesn't know."