PILLS~All Boys Foster Home Story

~ Coming Out ~

^^^Taylor at 16 so for any other ages can you just imagine him either younger or older.(photo from google)

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Taylors pov

Dear diary, 16/09/2015

Hello. I turned 13 three days ago! I can't believe it actually and my parents got me the Harry Potter book collection along with the Hogwarts library collection, I love them so much but I need to tell my parents sonething. I need to tell them I'm gay. I've decided I'm going to tell them later at tea. I don't think there homophobic but you never know.

I get bullied quite a lot at school because I got caught kissing this guy called Tony in the corner of the field. Tony ran off saying that I forced him into it so I had a conversation with the school and luckily they didn't tell my parents. I'll write soon to tell you how my parents reacted to me coming out.

Taylor~

I put my diary back in the cardboard box I keep under my bed. Tony has moved school after the whole incident of me and him caught kissing. It was the time I actually realised I'm gay as fuck.

"Taylor tea is ready." My mums voice rang through the house. "kay" I reply a bit nervous.
This is it. I'm going to tell my parents I'm gay. Hopefully they'll be OK with it. I make my way into the small dining room which is connected to the kitchen. A pan of tuna pasta sat on the table and 3 small bowls sat at each chair my dad at the head of the table and me and my mum opposite each other at the table. It how we've always sat. We all dig in and about half way through my mum speaks up "We got a call from your school today."
Fuck fuck fuck. What about?

"What about?" I ask panicked

"From your tutor how you decided to call a fellow student in your class 'A fucking homophobic cunt' "

Well it could be worse I suppose. "Oh yeah well he deserved it" I commented finishing my last piece of pasta. "That's no excuse. We'll talk about this later. Anyways hows that girl what's her name? Oh yes Julia. You still with her?"
Please don't bring Julia up. God dammit
"No we broke up a few months ago. Besides I never actually liked her." I reply trying my best to think of the better way to say I'm gay.
"Honey is there something bothering you?" my mum asked concerned.

"Er well.. Um yes" I stutter.
Fuck. How am I gonna say this

"Spit it out son" My dad growled.
"Okay, bloody hell. Well I'm - I'm g-gay" I stutter burying my head into my hands. I feel a sharp pain the side off my head and look up to see my dad with his fist raised. My mum also stood up and instead of sticking up for me she kicks me in the ribs. For about 2 hours I was punched and kicked nearly everywhere and by 9pm my parents were exhausted and warned me to not tell a single soul and go upstairs.

I run up to my room throw my tshirt off and nearly all my torso is bruised. Fuck this ain't good. I have school tomorrow even worse it's a Thursday. Thursdays I have double pe meaning a shared changing room. I grab my phone from my pocket plugging it in and setting an alarm for 7am. School starts at 8.20am and I'll attempt to forge my mums writing to write a note for pe. I climb into my single bed not bothering to change into pajamas. After about an hour of laying there staring at the roof I doze of into an uneasy sleep.

...

Dear diary, 17/09/2015

Hello. School was fucking shit! I did get out of pe by successfully forging my mums writing though. I was kindly gave a late birthday present today. It was 3 bottles of pills with a note saying

Hey Taylor. Sorry this is late. I thought these could be helpful not just for you but for us to. End your pathetic excuse for a life soon please.
Randy

Randy is one of the popular kids and the only reason they know my birthday is because a year ago the teachers decided to sing Happy birthday to me in middle of lesson because my mum told them it was my birthday. I know everyone or at least my family(maybe) would hope I throw these pills out but I'm keeping them. I know I shouldn't but maybe one day I might have the courage to kill myself.

Taylor~

I've told my parents not to cook me anything for tea because I'm not feeling hungry. That's a lie really because I didn't have any breakfast or dinner but I don't exactly want 2 more hours of punching. I should really call the police but it was only once yea this morning when I left to walk to school they called me a dirty fag but they'll come round soon. I hope.

I pull my phone out scrolling through my photos and see an old photo of me and nanny on my birthday a year ago. My nanny passed on 13th September 2014.. My birthday.. She was at our house and she looked at me in my eyes and said "Goodbye. I will always love you. Stay strong" next second her eyes unfocused and I ran forward and tried shaking her to wake up at the time I was the only one in the living room with her. She wasn't ill but she must have known she was going to die that second. My grandad comitted suicide a little after. They were buried together. My other grandparents on my dad's side they don't really care about us that much after my dad married my mum. I have a few cousins which I love and we get on well. I also have a few aunt and uncles who are nice and I also get on well with them.

I was brought out my thoughts by dads voice "OI.FAG!GET.DOWN.HERE.NOW."
I spoke to soon. I haven't got out of anything today.

3 hours later

I pull myself up the stairs. I check my phone, shining bright it says 10pm. Yep definitely didn't get out of anything today. I most definitely have a sprained ankle and wrist. My parents have said I'm having a day off school tomorrow to let the bruise and swelling on my face go down so they don't get questions. I'm not sure to be happy or even more depressed. It's been 2 days basically and I'm already fed up of my parents. To be honest right now I wouldn't care wether they live or die. I know harsh but it's the truth. I once again jump into bed not bothering to change. Millions of questions run through my mind most on the same line as 'How can my parents go from loving me to absoulotely hating my guts in a second?' I have no answer for the question and will I ever get an answer. I doubt it. By 2am I eventually doze of into a deep dreamless sleep.