Pain;Living

08

Her eyes stung from staring and lack of sleep.
Her lights were off and curtains closed.
In the almost pitch black room she laid awake staring.
At what, one may ask.

She stared at the wall with peeling off white paint.
She didn't know what she felt at this moment.
Maybe she was sad or did she just feel empty?
All she could do was stare.
She wanted to cry but didn't know why.

Why would she cry? What was wrong?

Questions she constantly asked herself.
This was a constant thing that happened.

She didn't want to get out of her bed and almost ignored when her alarm clock rang loudly through her room.

Getting up she put on jeans and graphic t-shirt on.
The shirt was wrinkled slightly put she didn't acknowledge it.

Iris threw her hair up into a sloppy ponytail and walked out of her room after grabbing her bag.

When she got to the stairs her vision when slightly blurry and she held her head.

Holding onto the railing tightly she made her way downstairs and out of the house.

She could've sworn in the corner of her eye she saw a clown.
When she looked over was nothing there.
She rubbed her eyes and continued her way to school.

Usually she enjoyed walking to school alone and being left with her thoughts but today it felt like torture.

Nothin felt right, was she even real?
Was her walking down the street actually happening?
Is she in a never ending dream?

She shook those thoughts from her mind as she traveled behind the school and pulled a cigarette out.
The concrete wall made a not so satisfying noise as she slid down it.

Iris put her arms around her legs and held her cigarette in her left hand.
Staring at nothing in the distance she felt tired.
Which is expected after not sleeping all night.
She would've loved a full nights sleep.

As students voices started gaining in volume she flicked her cigarette and went to go inside the building.

As she walked in she noticed the gang.
Looking at them she just walked right past and to her first class.

As soon as she got inside she laid her head on her desk.

Someone sat in the desk behind her and began kicking her chair.

"What the fuck do you want?"
She whipped her head around and rolled her eyes.

"Well Doll I just wanted to talk to you" Patrick smirked at her.

"Piss off Hocksetter" she sneered and turned around pushing her desk forward.
His long legs still reached her chair and continued to kick her chair.

She got up and walked to the opposite side of the room and stared at a student.
"Get up."
"Uh no this is my seat?"
"I said get up!"
The kid got his things and moved to the seat she previously sat at.
Iris laid her head on the desk once more.
Someone tapped her shoulder and she turned with a glare.

"He told me to give this to you" the scared girl handed her a paper.
'What the fuck is wrong with you?'

She crumpled the paper and threw it back at him, flicking him off.

After another twenty minutes of first period the bell rang and Iris was the first one out of the room.

She went straight towards the nurse with Patrick in tow.

"Leave me alone!"
"I can't and won't do that."

"Why" she stopped and stared at him.

"Because you're real" though she was glad for the reminder that she actually existed she didn't care.

"Leave me alone."
He stilled followed her as she went into the nurses office.

"You can go lay over there Miss Milan, Mr.Hocksetter why are you in here?"

"I've got this killer headache " He rubbed his head.

The nurse nodded and pointed him to a bed near Iris.

Iris pulled a blanket that was folded at the end of the plastic 'bed' over her head to block out the light.

She laid still until someone started to speak to her.

"Go away Hocksetter" she whispered.

"Well I've got this headache, oh ow" he fake groaned in pain "so I think I'm gonna stay in here with you!"

Iris covered her ears with her forearms and tried to sleep.

Which eventually she did.

For another hour she slept in the nurses office until the nurse woke her up.

"Okay sweets, are you feeling any better?"

Iris nodded though she wasn't.

The nurse gave her a small plastic cups of water and sent her back to class.

Patrick wasn't in the room so she assumed he was forced back to class.

_________

Iris didn't go back to class instead she went home.
She laid in the bed and stared at the ceiling.
A rock hit her window, then again, and again.
She ignored it until there was a knock on the glass.
Laying there she heard her window slide open.
She stared.

"Hey love" the tall odd boy said.
Her eyes still stared at the wall.
"Are you ignoring me?"

Iris said nothing.

"Come on love" he locked her bedroom door.
"Are you okay" he asked.

She mumbled something incoherent and closed her eyes.

Patrick kicked off his shoes and laid next to her.
"Go to sleep."