Steven Easton

Still Don't Trust Him

Tuesday, May 21

Somehow the TV is magically working today... If you didn't read yesterday's entry, you might want to do that by scrolling up because that's the most rebellious entry I've ever written...

Nick, Ava's biological dad, called me after Ava went to bed.

"Hey," I answered as I was chilling down in my office, which is right below her bedroom, so I made sure to keep my voice low just in case she was still recovering from the coffee she had had on Sunday. 

"Hey, I just wanted to check in and make sure everything is still all good," he told me.

"Yeah, no, I think we're all good for Saturday. What time will you be here again?"

"The flight is supposed to land at 10:56 your time." 

"All right, and y'all are coming to the house after that."

"Yes."

"I'll be grilling burgers and hotdogs."

"That sounds great." He paused. "You've told her, right?"

"I did."

"How'd she take it?" 

Sighing, I said bluntly, "She's confused about everything, ya know? I think she's pissed at her mother for not being honest with us, and so am I."

"Does she have any resent towards me?"

"No, I don't think so, but be aware that she could take it out on you."

Groaning, he said, "Right, I know." 

"I think that you need to give her time, and if she needs time to hate you despite the fact it's not your fault, you just have to show her grace, but I'd encourage you to not try too hard because she will push away." 

"I would, too."

"Yeah." Then I realized something; Ava may have learned to not trust many people because of me, and I have no idea of that's a blessing or a curse. I don't know what I've done.

"What would be a good gift to get her?"

Thinking about this, I said, "Maybe a book?"

"What hasn't she read?"

Chuckling a little, I thought about this. "Man, to be honest, I don't know, but remember that she's not a teenager yet."

"So, pre-teen stuff?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Does she read a lot?"

"Yes."

"So, should I be creative?"

"Eh, don't stress about this, man. I'm sure she's happy to meet you. Whether she shows it or not, and whether it means a lot now or not, I don't know, but the fact that you're showing up is a big deal."

"Thank you." He cleared his throat. "Thank you for even giving me this opportunity."

"You're welcome." 

"If I had been you, I wouldn't have trusted me."

I still don't trust him, but I have to do this for Ava. "You're welcome."

"Like I've said before: I just want her to know that I didn't intentionally abandon her, and I want her to know that even though we live in different states, I still care about her." 

"I understand." Then I paused. "But we are in agreement that if you two have contact, I know about it one hundred percent of the time because I have to protect her. I'm not trying to be controlling--"

"Steven, yes, I get that. I'd be the same way. I understand--well, I don't understand, but if my kids were in this boat, I'd be warily, too. I want to respect y'all's space."

"I appreciate that." 

I hope and pray that this whole thing works out.