Steven Easton

Irrational Fear

Saturday, May 25

Well, today happened. 

This morning when Ava woke up, I was already wide awake, making sure that everything was ready to go to have company over. I want Nick to know that Ava is living in clean living conditions, and even though I probably didn't need to because I clean our house about once a week anyway. I hate walking on dirty floors. It's so gross when you look down and your feet are scummy at someone's house. I just wanted to make sure Nick knew Ava is safe and sound here.

When Ava finally crawled out of bed, she asked, "I get to get my earrings next week, right?" (I bribed Ava by agreeing to allow her to have a second piercing if she met her dad.)

"If you're good."

"What is your definition of being good?"

Ideally, she just wouldn't say anything that would make him feel guilty for the rest of his life, but honestly, just showing up was good enough, but if I told her that, she'd lose any level of decorum she had. 

"You need to treat him and his wife with respect because they flew all the way up to meet you, but I'm not saying you have to like them."

"Okay, I guess I can do that."

The plan was to grill, and luckily, it didn't rain, so we followed through with that plan. Morgan was also there, really just to calm me down as we waited outside. She reminded me that Nick has given us no reason not to trust him yet. It wasn't just that though. I had no idea how Ava would react. Ava was hanging out inside.

I told Nick that we'd be outside, too, because I didn't want him to ring the doorbell and kidnap Ava. That may have been an irrational fear, but I couldn't bear the idea of anything happening to her because I didn't take preventive measures. 

When he texted me that they were on their way to our house from the airport, I brought Ava outside, and then I realized that Nick and Melissa might think we were hiding something from them by grilling outside, so when they arrived, I made sure to note to them early on that if they needed to go inside and use the bathroom or if it started to rain, we could go inside.

When Nick and Melissa came around to the back, Ava stood up immediately and kind of ran over to them.

"Are you my dad?" she asked Nick, opening her arms

"I am." He gave her a tight hug. "It's so good to meet you." 

We could tell he was close to tears as Morgan and I exchanged glances.

Being able to give Ava something that I never had until way later made the last year of stress worth it. 

"Thank you for coming." There was genuine excitement in her voice. 

"You're so welcome." He pulled away. "Thanks for letting me come."

Ava then looked at Melissa. "Are you my stepmom?"

In my mind, Morgan was more of her stepmom, but I guess in reality, Morgan would be the closest thing to a mom she would ever have.

Melissa wrapped her arms around Ava. "Yup. You are so beautiful." She ran a gentle hand through Ava's hair. 

Nothing dramatic happened after that. No uprisings half through, demanding why Nick had been on drugs. It was weird because Ava and Nick are actually a lot more alike than I realized. It's weird because they have similar smiles. We will see them again tomorrow, hopefully going to Adventureland, assuming it doesn't rain.

Having people from the south in my presence brought back my southern drawl again, which was so annoying.