angst {Seth Clearwater}

Summertime Sadness

I loved summer, everything about it. The freedom from the monotony of a routine. The seemingly endless days and nights. The air that always smelt like fresh berries and wildflowers. The weather, sun, and storms. I could live off of an endless diet of smores, hotdogs, and whatever was harvested. The fair was the event of the year and my heart swelled at the thought of my stomach dropping on the biggest ride. The entire concept of summer was pure magic. It wasn't until I was 17 that I dreaded absolutely everything about the season and the vacation that came with it.

The clock in my classroom overhead ticked. The second hand was messed up and jumped around. The sweat that trickled from my neck to my back was a more accurate measurement of time than the timepiece itself. The first drip, flash forward five seconds. Second drip. Go back three. Third drip. Go back two. I could feel my lips quirk upwards as I continued on with my game before a pit of dread lodged itself in my stomach. Oh damn. For 3 hours I was going to be stuck in a car with my sister and her fiance. Oh damn indeed. I rolled my eyes at the thought of spending more than three seconds trapped in a car with the lovey-dovey couple.

Leah, her fiance, was something else. She was serious but kind to my sister, no-nonsense, everything Kendall needed. She did make my sister happy and Kendall deserved that. After everything, she's been through it's the very least, but Leah was hiding something. There was something in the way she shifted when asked about her past. Something in the way she talked about herself. There was something wrong with Leah. Something that couldn't be explained by anything logical. Kendall should not marry Leah. We shouldn't go to Leah's home for three months. Maybe we shouldn't go. We shouldn't go.

"Jo, are you okay?" My eyes focused as I looked towards the voice of my calculus teacher, Mrs. Morena, asked. I stuttered as I tried to answer her. How can I tell my teacher that my sister is marrying someone and I was worried? So, I didn't.

"Uh, yeah. Perfectly normal, peachy keen. I pinky promise." I cringed as I realized how dorky I sounded. Morena raised an eyebrow, and I groaned internally. I scratched at the surface of my desk.

"Really, the bell rang a second ago, where's the fire? It's summer, Jo." At any other mention of summer from my favorite teacher, I would've been an exciting ball of sunshine, but this summer was one I had been dreading. "You don't want to go?" she questioned. She sat on the seat beside me and leaned forward.

"I just have to leave Seattle this summer and I don't really want to go, especially for the reason," I mumbled underneath my breath. "My sister's getting married and it's..."

"Weird?" Morena supplied and I nodded, looking up to meet her bright brown eyes. "I'm sure everything will be fine, yeah." At my nod she gave a small smile, "I'll see you in the fall, kiddo." She ruffled my hair and sat at her desk.

Within seconds I was out of the school and greeting the city with a smile. This was my home, my place, my people. I clicked here. Everything made sense from the way everyone looked so unique to the city etiquette. This was my place and with a heavy heart and lead feet I entered the apartment building Kendall and I would be moving out of for the summer.

Each plant I passed by smelt like home. Each old door with peeling paint looked like home. Every single dusty brick was a piece of my home. I don't want to leave my home for some monster and her family to accept me. This summer is going to be awful. On autopilot, I unlocked the door and everything was in slow motion as I dropped my school stuff off on my chair and dragged my suitcase out of my closet. I hadn't used it in forever, it still had my old stickers on it. I touched the picture of some mountain from Colorado and sighed, this was going to be a long summer.

I took everything out of my closet and placed it in the suitcase. Emptied out my drawers. Five shoes were added to the pile. I'm sure I looked like a madman to anyone who was looking on. I'm gonna need accessories. I grabbed my jewelry box and fancy socks. Oh, shoot, laptop. I would definitely need that. I heard a snort from the doorway and saw Kendall there, looking like her smug superior self.