angst {Seth Clearwater}

Gang Affiliation

Charlie Swan's house was quaint and charming. Dirty white paint, two stories. It stood on a little hill in a nice little neighborhood. I grew up in a neighborhood like this once upon a time. I wasn't sure exactly why Seth was taking me here instead of the Uley Cabin or even Sue's house, but I liked Charlie and I especially liked the Clearwater matriarch who impatiently opened the door and began walking to the car when we pulled up.

Seth, who I had quickly decided was a mama's boy, hurriedly unbuckled, and opened the door to tug Sue in one of his hugs. I don't know why, but to my confusion, I wished he would hold me like that. I could imagine what it felt like. Warm and comforting. I got out of the car slower than he did and pretended to not listen to Sue preening over him. 

"Seth, are you getting enough food?" I could practically hear his cheeks flush. 

"Mom!" The man hissed out. A playful glint played in his deep brown eyes. 

"Are you eating? What are the bags under your eyes?" Sue asked. My eyes widened as I turned to Sue and Seth. My mouth moves faster than my brain does and that itself is a curse.

"I suppose that is my fault." I didn't realize I had spoken my thought out loud and to my horror, Seth looked over, face bright red. His lips were twitched in a smile, but I was convinced it was my imagination. Sue stood there with a coy smile on her face. I think my constant state of being is an embarrassment. Sue smiled gleefully, opening her mouth to tease us, her eyes going to her son who was pleading to her with his big brown eyes. She raised a carefully plucked eyebrow.

"What, have you not told her yet?" She asked Seth in a hushed tone. At his quick nod, Sue quickly sealed her lips together. She nodded in understanding and walked over to me. She threw an arm around my shoulder and with a smile as bright as the sun she leads me inside. "Oh, Jo I remembered how much you loved my pie."

Sue Clearwater was a woman after my own heart. I giggled a little bit at the mention of the sweet potato delight she served me on our first night here. I could already feel myself salivating "Say less, Mrs. Clearwater." She threw her head back in a laugh and I looked back to see Seth leaning on Leah's car. A dopey look gracing his face. A hint of something I couldn't tell flashed through his eyes. He threw a wink at me and grinned before pushing himself off the car and following us in.

A wink? Why was he winking? What a weirdo. His face was probably just twitching. I laughed when I entered, Charlie leaned against the kitchen counter, smiling when Sue entered. I had seen that smile a lot growing up. My eyes going from his to Sue's who stuck her tongue out at him. He beamed at her. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable being underneath her as she and Charlie were having a moment. Who knew a series of looks shared between two people could be that intimate. It felt like they were talking to each other.

Seth gave them a small smile and an eye roll that I felt like I wasn't supposed to see. I wondered what it was like for him. To constantly be around it all the time. Love. I could imagine it being sickening. Or always being jealous. It seemed that almost everybody in his group also was dating someone. I wonder if he ever resented any of them. If he ever got angry.

Nobody was always sunshine and smiles.

Seth was probably strong, not in that physical way specifically but the strength of the emotional variety. He showed he cared selflessly. He loved everyone. I thought back to the dinner with the Cullens and remembered how he had greeted them all with a smile or hug, even when Embry and Quil stayed in the sidelines along the back. Leah barely looked up to any of them.

I wonder why they hated them. Leah, Embry, Quil, even Jacob who hung around Nessie seemed to not like some of the Cullens. Was Seth just a punching bag to them. Took it with a smile and that's why everybody liked him. No, he seemed genuinely kind. I couldn't help but wonder why everybody else didn't like the Cullens.