angst {Seth Clearwater}

Star Gazing

I hadn't realized how clear the skies were here. It was perfectly calming. The soft cool sand that I kept grabbing handfuls of only to release a moment later. The silvery moonlight that made the ocean water glimmer. The repetitive beat of the waves hitting against the earth made it perfect. Seth had grabbed a beach blanket from the trunk of Leah's car and we sat side by side. We hadn't said much of anything since arriving, I had a feeling Seth knew if he said anything off-putting I would leave.

I could feel the emotion flood my system before I could register the thought. Guilt. Was that what he thought of me, that I was a temperamental child? I mean, he's not wrong. It still hurts though. I glanced at Seth who wasn't lying down completely like I was. No, he was propped up on his elbows and gazing into the ocean as if it held not just endless mystery but answers too.

He turned his head towards me and I averted my eyes, but the smile that radiated off of him told me I was caught. Stupid Clearwater. "What are you thinking about?" I asked him as I stared up at the sky as if it held everything I sought after. Seth hesitated to answer. I could tell from a glance that he was pursing his lips. His tongue darted through his lips, wetting them as he tried to find an answer

"I'm thinking about whether or not I'll ever see you again after summer ends." His voice was hoarse and questioning as if that wasn't really what he was thinking about, but instead, put the thought on the back burner. And the answer was obvious that at some point, of course, we're going to see each other again.

I rolled my eyes.

"Seth, where are you going to college?" I asked him in a faux sweet tone. Seth seemed to like the attention on himself as his cheeks grew pink and he grinned lightly.

"University of Washington," Seth stated although I swear it sounded more like a question. If possible I rolled my eyes again.

"Seth, that's in Seattle," I told him pointedly. I could feel the gears trying their best in his head.

"Yeah, and that..." He hesitated as he tried to make sense of what I said. I could feel his A-ha moment from my side of the blanket and I nodded at the gasp that left his lips. "That totally makes sense, because you live... in-in Seattle?" I nodded again as Seth let out a little breathe of air that I hadn't realized he had been holding in. "What you're saying is that we'll see each other again?"

"Yes, dimwit." I snapped at him. Seth rolled his eyes, but the fond smile told a different story and he just nudged me with his elbow.

"Sorry, spitfire." He teased back. I didn't make a sound as I looked back up to him, challenging the nickname. He didn't budge. That's tragic. 

"Anyway, I'm sure we would've seen each other at like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Family things like that." I reminded him. Seth had laid himself down beside me and gave a nod. It didn't take a genius to realize that he was pouting. "What?"

"Huh?" He asked, turning to me slightly as the pout melted away. I raised a brow and looked at him in confusion.

"Well, you were pouting. Why?" I asked him. Has nobody told him how expressive he is?

"Oh, I just forgot that you're like my sister in law."

I thought of the man. The red hair and eyes. My fingers twirled my own lock of similar coloring. What he had said about being Kendall's dad, yeah, it fucked me up. Our dad didn't look like that. He was a blonde if anything and his voice had been so different. The memory of his voice struck a chord as well. It was familiar and I was sure I had heard it hundreds of times. And then like that, I shot up off the blanket leaving Seth sputtering like an old car.

"You know the vampire I've been seeing in my dreams?" The question rolled off my tongue as if I had been used to saying things like that and meaning them. Seth nodded and too shot up. His eyes looking to the trees and then the water. "He told me he was Kendall's father."