Baby boy ✔️

42:

42:

At that moment I should have left but it was too late now, they had seen me. I had assumed that dropping off the money we had raised for my brothers soccer club in the middle of the afternoon would be safe but my luck their he was.

Jakob was seated with his couch, the club owner, Mrs Denton, and someone I didn't know. They hadn't spotted us yet even as I jolted to an abrupt stop in the middle of the doorway at the sight of him.

I had completely forgotten where I was, what I had come to do, or the fact that there were other people in the room as I focused on him. He was smiling broadly as he leaned lazily on the table they were seated at, his arms crossed and his brown eyes bright. It was a punch in the gut to know that as soon as he spotted me that smile would be wiped off of his face.

We still hadn't spoken and with graduation mere days away I knew that there was a chance we wouldn't speak again. On the rare occasion that our parents did see each other neither of us were present seeming to have the same idea of avoiding one another. I would be lying if I said the separation wasn't killing me, slowly tearing me apart bit by bit.

I missed his laugh and his stupid smile. I missed the way he approached anything and everything in life with such ease as if nothing were a problem and everything was solvable. How the hell did I let Jakob have such an impact on me to the point that I could barley breath without missing him.

"Naz can I please get a milkshake?" I didn't hear Kasper until I felt Nella's hand on my shoulder giving me a reassuring squeeze which is what brought me back to reality.

Breaking out of my trance I turn my attention from the boy I was still hopelessly in love with to my little brother who came skipping back, the tin that had all the money Nella and I had raised for the club in his hands smiling happily.

"I think we are all in need of milkshakes." Nella answered Kasper for me which I'm positive is the most she has ever said to him.

Even though she is talking to Kasper she keeps her eyes on me a neutral expression playing on her features as she studies me as if checking to see if I'm okay. I'm not. I still feel hollow and empty inside not to mention sick with regret but I refuse to show it.

Instead I force a smile, no matter how hard or how fake it feels I force one, reassuring Nella that I'm okay even if I feel like I'm going to collapse or cry- maybe both.

Kasper leads the way to the bar where one of the few afternoon stuff was working, in off peak hours the sports club had minimal staff on I suppose to save money, but as we reach the bar I notice the manager at a table in the corner and make a beeline towards him.

"Hey Mark." I greet in hopes of making him aware of my presence since he hadn't yet looked up or even noticed me yet.

I know Mark well enough to approach him so casually, eating here ever Wednesday for dinner after Kasper's soccer training made us rather familiar with everyone in the club.

"Hey Naz, how's it going?" He smiles casually up at me pushing the books in front of him to the side as he gestured for me to take the seat in front of him but I mutter a thanks in response and shake my head in polite rejection.

The last thing I want is to spend more time then needed here especially if Jakob was here. It was only a matter of moments before he noticed me and that smile was wiped off his face. It feels like I haven't seen that smile in a lifetime and seeing it right now is killing me. Knowing that the chances are I won't ever see it again and I wouldn't even blame him.